What is the most creative insult you have ever heard?

38 points · 15 comments · view on lemmy.world

15 Comments

TheImpressiveX@lemmy.ml · 23 pts · 3y (1 reply)

The best kinds are insults disguised as compliments.

"I hope your day is as pleasant as you are."

"I can't tell you how much I enjoyed your presentation."

"You never cease to amaze me."

ItsYourBoyHalo@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 3y

It's always the passive aggresive ones haha

PlutoniumAcid@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 3y

"I am sure that with enough determination, you can make it to the top of the bell curve."

rbhfd@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 3y

If I had a gun with two bullets, and I was in a room with Hitler, bin-Laden, and you, I would shoot you twice.

tarjeezy@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 3y

Oh yeah? Well, I called the jerk store, and they're running out of you!

Skooshjones@vlemmy.net · 4 pts · 3y

"You couldn't pour piss from a boot if the instructions were on the heel."

"Are you this stupid full time, or is it just a hobby?"

"You're about as sharp as a bowling ball."

Llamajockey@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 3y

The show VEEP has some of the best insults I've ever heard One of my favorites

"You're as toxic as a urinal cake in Chernobyl"

kabukimeow@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 3y

I actually stopped using Reddit back in December partly because someone DM'd me calling me a "fucking filthy tortoise" which is certainly the first time I've heard that. And also the moment that made me think, why am I wasting my time on this site. Not particularly smart, but certainly unique.

mbgid@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 3y (4 replies)

"If we were sat on a bench together and someone came up and said 'One of you two is an idiot', I wouldn't think they were talking about me because I don't take offense easily".

flubba86@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 3y (3 replies)

I've read it 10 times now, and I still don't get it (I think?). Am I the idiot on the bench? Is the insult about me? Can someone explain it to me please?

mbgid@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 3y (1 reply)

Yeah it's a confusing way of calling someone an idiot.

flubba86@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 3y

It reads like a sentence that was translated from another language into English. It's needlessly confusing, makes the reader feel dumb, but it's not a good insult.

Mekboy_nutkrakka@aussie.zone · 1 pts · 3y

I assume it's to insult both of them with both thinking they just insulted the other.

DelayNoMore@lemmy.ml · 2 pts · 3y

I think the Frankie Boyle insult to an audience member is the best. It was a long story and I'll try and search for it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oX1jMmfG2Xk&t=60

designated_fridge@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 3y

I always liked "Everyone who ever loved you were wrong"