c/memes · by The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world · 1y

That's basically torture

283 points · 31 comments · view on lemmy.world

31 Comments

Pudutr0n@feddit.cl · 44 pts · 1y (1 reply)

What good is the 200 million then

You only have to do it for 2 days. Just put yourself into a medically induced coma for 2 days. Its easy money.

flamingo_pinyata@sopuli.xyz · 28 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Hard dilemma ... Do you guarantee that the table will not change dimensions in those 2 days?
Needs some planning, there might be ways to avoid measuring a table for a while.

zloubida@sh.itjust.works · 11 pts · 1y

For a while, maybe, but two whole days?

whatsisface@sh.itjust.works · 18 pts · 1y

No. It's not worth the lasting damage it would cause. You'll need to live with it for the rest of your life.

All the people answering "yes" so confidently are severely underestimating the life-altering consequences this sort of trauma can cause. No amount of money would ever fix it.

mhzawadi@lemmy.horwood.cloud · 16 pts · 1y

Wait, you guys measure tables?

I just eat off them

JackLSauce@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 1y (1 reply)

What is her job?

TABLES!!

CH3DD4R_G0BL1N@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 1y

I can’t know how to hear more about tables!

MrShankles@reddthat.com · 14 pts · 1y (5 replies)

Ask someone else to measure it for me

ouRKaoS@lemmy.today · 10 pts · 1y (2 replies)

"Uhh.... it's a little over the line, so that's a half? So is that twenty three, one slash four, and a half?"

MrShankles@reddthat.com · 4 pts · 1y

Sounds close enough to me! I'll double-check in a few days if I need to, I appreciate your help! Here's $10, buy yourself a banana

SippyCup@feddit.nl · 1 pts · 1y

This physically hurts me

LanguageIsCool@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1y

[ removed ]

ohshit604@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 1y

Hate to break it to you, it’s out of tolerance, time for that non-conformance report.

Honytawk@lemmy.zip · 12 pts · 1y

Nooo, my database is fucked!

southsamurai@sh.itjust.works · 10 pts · 1y

Look, if I can't slap my dick down on the table, life isn't worth living. And, by definition, that is a form of dick measuring. Since it measures the dick against the table, the table is therefore measured against the dick.

However! If someone would volunteer to be a flesh table for the period of the no-table-measuring, that would be acceptable. If I can measure my dick against someone's shoulders or hips, problem solved, and I'm 200 mil richer.

CMDR_Horn@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 1y

Order 200m worth of tables demand 3 day delivery

listless@lemmy.cringecollective.io · 9 pts · 1y (1 reply)

maybe i'm a fool, but i think i might be able to do it...

perishthethought@lemm.ee · 4 pts · 1y

Worth a shot, eh?

Kolanaki@pawb.social · 8 pts · 1y

I can still measure other things, tho, right?

ChicoSuave@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 1y

36 hours in and I would think I'm in the clear then someone would need some real help, like loading their truck to move some stuff for their kids party and ask me, "think it will all fit?" In that moment reflexes would lose the money.

Engywuck@lemm.ee · 8 pts · 1y

I'll just pay someone else to measure it.

missandry351@lemmings.world · 7 pts · 1y

Bring it on

Digestive_Biscuit@feddit.uk · 7 pts · 1y (2 replies)

I was actually measuring my desk today as I want to fit a draw under it.

MutilationWave@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 1y (1 reply)

A hwat?

lunarul@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 1y

Must be a small desk to only fit a draw. Larger ones can fit drawer. Industrial sized ones fit drawest.

Treczoks@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1y

For 200m I could just hide in bed for a few days.