If the USA ever rewrites their constitution it will likely have embedded ads.

208 points · 21 comments · view on lemmy.world

21 Comments

Corelli_III@midwest.social · 66 pts · 304d (1 reply)

bro it already embeds commercialized prison slavery

TheReturnOfPEB@reddthat.com · 33 pts · 304d

this Constitution was brought to you by CoreCivic and GEO Group

dingus182@lemmy.world · 37 pts · 304d (7 replies)

Subscribe Now to get all of your rights.

expatriado@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 304d (3 replies)

comes with tiers: basic rights, rights plus, premium rights

Fuckfuckmyfuckingass@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 304d (1 reply)

That's kinda how it already is:

Minorities White People The 1%

Zorque@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 304d

Then there's the club 33 equivalent for the billionaire class.

DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 304d

Also with a mandatory arbitration agreement, the "supreme court" is really just one dude being the arbitrator, and that's the corporate CEO's brother.

Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca · 10 pts · 304d

We're sorry. You have insufficient funds for citizen level rights, and pursuant to the 104th ammendment, your rights will be reduced accordingly.

You are now Peasant class. Please report to your nearest farm for manual labour and the natural beauty of sleeping under the stars. For a mere $200/month, you can be waitlisted for a rights upgrade to lower plebian 3rd class.

NuXCOM_90Percent@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 304d

I mean... the original versions had a lot of carve outs for states to tie rights and even personhood to land ownership.

Not to mention shit like the Three Fifths Compromise which definitely tied personhood to skin color and the money to say your kids were just tan.

x00z@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 304d

Well that's kind of always the case.

If you don't pay your taxes you lose some of your rights, in almost any country.

SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world · 14 pts · 304d (2 replies)

The founding fathers intended it to be a living document brought to you by Carl’s Jr - Fuck you I’m eating.

sunzu2@thebrainbin.org · 5 pts · 304d (1 reply)
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667@lemmy.radio · 14 pts · 304d

It’s what plants crave.

To be real, the worst part isn’t that we’re joking about it; it’s that it’s already happened:

riskable@programming.dev · 11 pts · 304d (1 reply)

It'll be 90% complete and just end there with a simple statement:

Usage limit reached

Rhaedas@fedia.io · 10 pts · 304d

And starts with "Writing a constitution for your new country is an exciting task! A constitution serves as the foundation of a nation's government, outlining its structure, powers, and limitations, as well as the rights and freedoms of its citizens. Here's a general outline to help you get started:"

(actual local LLM model reply)

Mine ended with "Remember to tailor your constitution to your country's unique history, culture, and values. It is also essential to ensure that the document is clear, concise, and easily understood by the citizens it serves. Good luck!"

I think we messed that part up.

0liviuhhhhh@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 6 pts · 304d

Now for the followup question:

Will these ads be in the form of namedropping corporations and products as the "official government sponsor/provider/service" or will it be in the form of an ever-changing constitution that due to its ephemeral nature can only exist digitally and will require a 30-second ad to access?

fossilesque@mander.xyz · 5 pts · 304d (1 reply)
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davidagain@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 303d

New one needs more swearing.

And for fuck's sake, don't let political parties dick about with the judiciary, because as soon as you let some asswipe president choose the supreme court, you basically don't have a judiciary.

If the president so much as breathes a word in support of violence at the Capitol, put them in fucking jail for the rest of their fucking life. Straight away. We mean it.

Cevilia@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 5 pts · 303d (1 reply)
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samanthasnowstorm@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 303d
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DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 304d

Please purchase a subscription to rent a license to your constitutional rights.

Treczoks@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 303d

The US legal system already has more than enough corporate sponsored laws. The copyright law is not called "Lex Disney" for a joke. And those laws are way more profitable than any ad in a document nobody actually reads could be.

thezeesystem@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 3 pts · 303d

Wait wasn't there's movie called Idiocracy that had that?

wildbus8979@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 304d

This section about lawful intercept is sponsored by Preparation H

antlion@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 304d

Nah it will just be paywalled and copy protected.

laz@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 304d
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