The night before Jesus was arrested and crucified, his followers started to worry—Christ was still a virgin; wouldn’t it be nice to have him experience a little bit of pleasure before he dies? So they asked Mary Magdalene to go to the tent where Christ was resting and seduce him; Mary said she would do it gladly and went in, but five minutes later, she ran out screaming, terrified and furious. The followers asked her what went wrong, and she explained: “I slowly undressed, spread my legs and showed Christ my pussy; he looked at it, said ‘What a terrible wound! It should be healed!’ and gently put his palm on it.”
Clinton and the pope die on the same day; however, owing to the confusion in the divine administration, Clinton ends up in heaven and the pope in hell. After a couple of days, the mistake is noticed and the two are ordered to exchange places; they briefly meet in front of the elevator that connects heaven and hell. Upon seeing Clinton on his way from heaven, the pope asks him: “Tell me, how is the Virgin Mary? I cannot wait to meet her!” Clinton replies with a smile: “Sorry, but she is no longer a virgin.”
I always found this joke funny. People have also replaced Clinton here woth many figures over time.
I'm not entirely sure, but I believe this was from an era when the artist typically never touched the stone or the tools himself (and rarely herself). Very skilled craftsmen did all the actual sculpting, under the direction of the artist. Source: Antiques Roadshow (possibly misremembered).
25 Comments
SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world · 58 pts · 316d
Hard to believe that a hundred and seven-five years later she’s still a virgin.
SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 59 pts · 316d
Having no body helps.
baines@lemmy.cafe · 23 pts · 316d
i see at least 5 holes
SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 35 pts · 316d
I do not. And it frightens me that you do.
baines@lemmy.cafe · 29 pts · 316d
better keep all your stone women away from me
SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 21 pts · 316d
The night before Jesus was arrested and crucified, his followers started to worry—Christ was still a virgin; wouldn’t it be nice to have him experience a little bit of pleasure before he dies? So they asked Mary Magdalene to go to the tent where Christ was resting and seduce him; Mary said she would do it gladly and went in, but five minutes later, she ran out screaming, terrified and furious. The followers asked her what went wrong, and she explained: “I slowly undressed, spread my legs and showed Christ my pussy; he looked at it, said ‘What a terrible wound! It should be healed!’ and gently put his palm on it.”
massive_bereavement@fedia.io · 4 pts · 316d
ಠ_ಠ
SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 16 pts · 316d
Clinton and the pope die on the same day; however, owing to the confusion in the divine administration, Clinton ends up in heaven and the pope in hell. After a couple of days, the mistake is noticed and the two are ordered to exchange places; they briefly meet in front of the elevator that connects heaven and hell. Upon seeing Clinton on his way from heaven, the pope asks him: “Tell me, how is the Virgin Mary? I cannot wait to meet her!” Clinton replies with a smile: “Sorry, but she is no longer a virgin.”
I always found this joke funny. People have also replaced Clinton here woth many figures over time.
RVGamer06@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 316d
Would work with Berlusconi too if the Virgin Mary was slightly underage
SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 316d
Found the necrophiliac
ordnance_qf_17_pounder@reddthat.com · 31 pts · 316d
Incredible craftsmanship.
FenrirIII@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 316d
The patience is what baffles me. I can't imagine taking so much time and precision
four@lemmy.zip · 9 pts · 316d
What else you're going to do in 1850?
ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 315d
If you're the 12th US President Zachary Taylor, you could always die from eating too much fruit and milk (true story).
FundMECFS@anarchist.nexus · 5 pts · 316d
Cough up some sweet victorian era pollution and die at 26
four@lemmy.zip · 6 pts · 316d
If they lived till 80 they would finish the entire statue, duh
ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 315d
I'm not entirely sure, but I believe this was from an era when the artist typically never touched the stone or the tools himself (and rarely herself). Very skilled craftsmen did all the actual sculpting, under the direction of the artist. Source: Antiques Roadshow (possibly misremembered).
Tower@lemmy.zip · 28 pts · 316d
I've seen this before but never realized it was only made in the 1850s. I thought it was a Renaissance thing or something.
titey@jlai.lu · 25 pts · 316d
Each time I see it, I'm totally amazed! This is beautiful!
victorz@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 316d
Heck, I'm impressed enough that they managed to make fabric that thin back in those days. Very impressive.
SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 13 pts · 316d
1850 is very recent!
victorz@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 316d
I'm impressed we make fabric this thin in my lifetime 😆
SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 309d
Will now mostly be posting on !visualarts@lemmy.dbzer0.com
Come join the comm ❤️
CannonFodder@lemmy.world · -1 pts · 316d
Kinda looks like two big boogers coming out of her nose.
victorz@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 316d
My kids be like: