If you're a broke vampire, just say that

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/post/43324678

231 points · 12 comments · view on lemmy.world

12 Comments

shalafi@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 305d (1 reply)

"Hello! Do you have a minute to talk about Dracula?"

"No- wait, Dracula?"

"Yes!"

"You're vampires?"

"Yes. We have pamphlets."

"Vampires have missionaries?"

"Where else would new vampires come from?"

"I assumed you bit people."

"There are many hurtful stereotypes. May we come in?"

P1k1e@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 305d

Ohoho you sneaky bicthes

Justas@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 305d (2 replies)

Imagine broke Romanian vampires squatting outside a commie block.

wieson@feddit.org · 3 pts · 304d (1 reply)

Oooh what a feeling
When we're squatting from the ceiling

Justas@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 304d

We are cold

But Our blood boils

When we get the bill for central heating.

rizzothesmall@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 304d

They live for many hundreds of years and can enthrall rich people into giving them anything they want. Vampires can live in whatever the fuck they like.

Hazmatastic@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 304d

Bruh if you've had 500+ years on this planet and still haven't figured out how to make money, I can't help you. Shit, your baby toys would be worth a ton to a museum. People are stupid, assholes are predictable. Take advantage. Get your castle. Make. That. Blood.

Soktopraegaeawayok@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 305d

Bah... f--k a vampire in his castle of doom

adrianmorales@ieji.de · 2 pts · 305d

@SnokenKeekaGuard Homelessness is on the rise amongst young vampires who can't find a decent cave or a derelict building anywhere. 🧛‍♂️ 🧛‍♀️

AlexanderTheDead@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 305d

Trying to figure out what depiction of a vampire in a castle lead to this post.

Mac@mander.xyz · 1 pts · 303d

Having read Blindsight and Echopraxia, yes, please sign me up for this training.

stupidcasey@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 304d

Actually count dracula lived in the castle because he is based off from Vlad the impeller a prince one of the most brutal murders of his day but I guess a prince wasn't spooky enough for Bram Stoker (the author of Dracula) so he made him a Count either that or Mickey Mouse learned how to time travel and put the fear of Disney prince in him.