If we are calling out ‘toxic masculinity’ as a society, then why do public responses to softer versions of masculinity shift between curiosity, irony and judgment?
Intro:
Across TikTok and university campuses, young men are rewriting what masculinity looks like today, sometimes with matcha lattes, Labubus, film cameras and thrifted tote bags.
At Toronto Metropolitan University, a “performative male” contest recently drew a sizeable crowd by poking fun at this new TikTok archetype of masculinity. The “performative man” is a new Gen Z term describing young men who deliberately craft a soft, sensitive, emotionally aware aesthetic, signalling the rejection of “toxic masculinity.”
At “performative male” contests, participants compete for laughs and for women’s attention by reciting poetry, showing off thrifted fashion or handing out feminine hygiene products to show they’re one of the “good” guys.
Similar events have been held from San Francisco to London, capturing a wider shift in how Gen Z navigates gender. Research shows that young men are experimenting with gender online, but audiences often respond with humour or skepticism.
This raises an important question: in a moment when “toxic masculinity” is being called out, why do public responses to softer versions of masculinity shift between curiosity, irony and judgment?
17 Comments
thoughtfuldragon@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 19 pts · 289d
oh I get why it's called performative. It's a subtle way of emasculating them by saying what they do is performance, something commonly associated with women and femininity. It's a dog whistle to say they aren't real men.
KoboldCoterie@pawb.social · 22 pts · 289d
Or to imply that the actions themselves are performative, that is, that they are not acting on genuinely held opinions or beliefs but rather are doing it purely as a courtship ritual. Which in some cases may be the case but as you say, using it as a blanket term really belittles anyone who believes in what they're doing.
otters_raft@lemmy.ca · 9 pts · 289d
Yup, this is the context where I usually hear the term used. That the person is pretending, just to get the date
I think the article did a good job of explaining why this is a problem. It also left off on a positive note:
ctenidium@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 288d
In my opinion that is the best these men can do. Just owning it in a carefree way while having fun doing so. I think that is really a "Chad" move. It also is really revealing the double standards.
Septimaeus@infosec.pub · 0 pts · 289d
TheAlbatross@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 12 pts · 289d
Not really a new phenomenon. I remember kids doing the same thing in the 90's and 00's, but it wasn't named as such.
Harder to write articles titled "Men still trying to attract partners using a variety of techniques" tho
otters_raft@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 289d
It's a popular term that's being thrown around right now, and the younger men that are a part of that discussion didn't go through it in the 90s and 00s. I've been seeing it a lot in the university-aged spaces. It's complicated further right now by the discussion around stuff like DEI, since that's also being labelled as being "performative"
Still, it IS helpful to show young men that this isn't a new conversation. The article implies that, but it could have mentioned it explicitly
TheAlbatross@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 6 pts · 289d
I don't recall there being a phrase to categorically describe men who falsely ascribed "softer" traits to attract women from those times, tho I remember women saying they wanted a more "sensitive" man, and men trying to demonstrate that they were "sensitive" through similar ways.
I do remember sensitive men, either performative or genuine, getting homophobic pejoratives hurled at them, tho. So some things change some things stay the same.
PixelatedSaturn@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 289d
This article feels like it's been stolen from someone who wrote it ironically.
Septimaeus@infosec.pub · 2 pts · 289d
Lol same vibe. Like wiggling eyebrows everywhere. “…is this… problematic…??”
Nomorereddit@lemmy.today · 9 pts · 287d
Framing the issue as toxic masculinity misses the real problem, which is toxic behavior itself. Anyone can perform harm or manipulation regardless of gender identity, and reducing it to a male issue reinforces the same stereotypes we claim to challenge.
If society truly wants progress, we should stop policing how masculinity looks and start holding all people accountable for toxic actions, not their gender.
otters_raft@lemmy.ca · -1 pts · 287d
I think there may be a misunderstanding, or multiple interpretations, of what 'toxic masculinity' refers to.
In the contexts where I've heard it, the term wasn't being used to say that masculinity is toxic /that it should look a certain way / that this is something that's up to men to change. Rather, it refers to the subset of toxic behaviour that is associated with 'masculinity', as a way of organizing discussion. The term isn't meant to ignore or minimize other types of toxic behaviour, it's there when referring to any patterns or solutions that might be in common for that subset of toxicity.
For example, the term "men's mental health" organizes discussion around mental health challenges that men deal with. It doesn't mean that only men deal with mental health issues, nor does it mean that men's mental health issues are more important to deal with than those of other groups.
Isn't the first part exactly what 'toxic masculinity' discussions are about, that rigid and harmful gender expectations harm everyone, regardless of where it comes from (men or otherwise)?
As for the second part, I don't think anyone is saying otherwise. We SHOULD hold everyone accountable for toxic actions.
Nomorereddit@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 287d
Attention capture tactics push toxic masculinity a lot more than, toxicity is my point.
But good back and forth.
jaselle@lemmy.ca · 7 pts · 288d
Is this the Butler sense of the word "performative"? i.e. it is one's actions which define whether one is masculine? Or is this performative as in "for show" -- not legitimate masculinity, but an act.
otters_raft@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 287d
I think it's the later
Canconda@lemmy.ca · 7 pts · 289d
Gen Z took post irony and prolapsed it.
OliveMoon@lemmy.ca · 6 pts · 287d
Boomer here. In the late 70s/early 80s we had nightclubs, with live bands. Drinks were affordable, and that’s where all the young people congregated. It was kind of like a church picnic with alcohol and awesome music. We met each other, face to face. We talked, maybe danced, maybe exchanged numbers. Call me crazy, but online dating sucks. You’re not tall enough? You’re not blonde enough? You don’t make enough money? You don’t have a degree? Women, and men, are basing everything on a picture, and a bio. Just saying…
NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone · 5 pts · 286d
“Are we a joke to you?”