If planning on being a serial killer, run a barber shop or something where literally thousands of people leave their DNA on-site, and your DNA is on literally thousands of other people.
Become a blood splatter specialist for your local police department. Only target the most evil and guilty of people for your “killing spree”. If they start catching on, fake your death and move north.
Eh just become a regular cop. Then all you have to do is either take a paid vacation or move a county over when you're caught. Then the city will handle body disposal, you don't need a boat or ocean access.
This might backfire if you get caught committing a crime, as they might peg you with conspiracy to commit hundreds of others. So don't get caught, I guess.
An actual good cover would be writing crime fiction. Then you're not just researching how to do crime for no apparent reason, you're taking an interest in crime for constructive purposes.
16 Comments
Arghblarg@lemmy.ca · 31 pts · 275d
If planning on being a serial killer, run a barber shop or something where literally thousands of people leave their DNA on-site, and your DNA is on literally thousands of other people.
SanctimoniousApe@lemmings.world · 11 pts · 275d
This one right here, officer!
cannedtuna@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 275d
You can even work with your local meat pie shop to assist with the body disposal! The perfect accomplice!
kriz@slrpnk.net · 3 pts · 275d
Ok google a crime every day AND get a job where you get covered in DNA. Barber yes but also Sewer Cleaner, Pornstar, Body Mopper....
FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 272d
Apparently there was a case where one woman's DNA kept turning up at multiple crime scenes. Turned out she was a worker at a cotton swab factory.
dohpaz42@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 275d
Become a blood splatter specialist for your local police department. Only target the most evil and guilty of people for your “killing spree”. If they start catching on, fake your death and move north.
untorquer@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 275d
Eh just become a regular cop. Then all you have to do is either take a paid vacation or move a county over when you're caught. Then the city will handle body disposal, you don't need a boat or ocean access.
Susaga@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 275d
This might backfire if you get caught committing a crime, as they might peg you with conspiracy to commit hundreds of others. So don't get caught, I guess.
69420@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 275d
I think you're looking for Good Life Pro Tips.
untorquer@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 275d
My what a big conspiracy officer are you going to peg me with it?
BootLoop@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 275d
Use DuckDuckGo and/or a VPN if you're going to commit crimes
JamesBoeing737MAX@sopuli.xyz · 3 pts · 275d
Or use tor, the best way.
dan1101@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 275d
They will just cite the time you searched for how to commit that particular crime.
kriz@slrpnk.net · 7 pts · 275d
"Your honor my client is interested in all kinds of crimes, this has no bearing on this case"
FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 272d
An actual good cover would be writing crime fiction. Then you're not just researching how to do crime for no apparent reason, you're taking an interest in crime for constructive purposes.
CannedYeet@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 275d
That's why I always suffix my Google searches with my neighbor's name. He always signs his texts.