It definitely told my therapist a lot when I said to her, "I can be honest with you because I don't need you to like me. I'm paying you for a service."
There's nothing wrong with having thoughts like that when you first meet a therapist. It takes time to form a genuine connection that allows you to drop your guard - you wouldn't tell such things any person you don't know, and that's ok. It's important to feel safe during therapy.
Thanks for this reply. I really did not intend for my previous comment to be very contentious. I am not very experienced with therapy.
In my head, I think I'm trying to compartmentalize it a bit. Hypothetically, it shouldn't really matter if the therapist likes you or not. The fact that they are getting paid should allow them to be ethical and objective in their job duties.
In real life, it probably does make a big difference whether they like you or not (to the patient, as well as the therapist themselves). Even if a bias isn't supposed to exist, it probably happens more often than not; humans aren't perfect.
Therapists are human first, professional second, like anyone.
It's surprising how much of the work, the healing and the challenge, comes from the therapist being human and not objective.
Their subjective experience is there to invite the client's own.
That means that they're not going to be attacking, judging or critical. They might have normal human reactions but that's not what they're going to do with them.
Well like me is a bit far, but I would rather not you vomit all over the desk as I walk in, only for you to take out the blunt office scissors sitting in the top drawer and stab me in the neck as I turn to get some help.
10 Comments
judgyweevil@feddit.it · 27 pts · 270d
Therapist: this is a good start
Quetzalcutlass@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 270d
Unironically, that single response would tell them more than an entire average session.
Carbonizer@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 269d
It definitely told my therapist a lot when I said to her, "I can be honest with you because I don't need you to like me. I'm paying you for a service."
30p87@feddit.org · 16 pts · 271d
Me telling my therapist of my work that I hate capitalism
(I work in a bank)
(I'm trapped by my bad decisions years ago)
Wildmimic@anarchist.nexus · 8 pts · 270d
There's nothing wrong with having thoughts like that when you first meet a therapist. It takes time to form a genuine connection that allows you to drop your guard - you wouldn't tell such things any person you don't know, and that's ok. It's important to feel safe during therapy.
viral.vegabond@piefed.social · 1 pts · 270d
If you are paying them, does it really matter if they like you or not?
essell@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 270d
Yes.
The quality of the relationship is the single biggest factor in what people get from therapy.
The money is by the by. Therapist isn't like a Doctor, they need to genuinely care about their clients
viral.vegabond@piefed.social · 2 pts · 269d
Thanks for this reply. I really did not intend for my previous comment to be very contentious. I am not very experienced with therapy.
In my head, I think I'm trying to compartmentalize it a bit. Hypothetically, it shouldn't really matter if the therapist likes you or not. The fact that they are getting paid should allow them to be ethical and objective in their job duties.
In real life, it probably does make a big difference whether they like you or not (to the patient, as well as the therapist themselves). Even if a bias isn't supposed to exist, it probably happens more often than not; humans aren't perfect.
essell@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 269d
Absolutely.
Therapists are human first, professional second, like anyone.
It's surprising how much of the work, the healing and the challenge, comes from the therapist being human and not objective.
Their subjective experience is there to invite the client's own.
That means that they're not going to be attacking, judging or critical. They might have normal human reactions but that's not what they're going to do with them.
Thorry@feddit.org · 1 pts · 270d
Well like me is a bit far, but I would rather not you vomit all over the desk as I walk in, only for you to take out the blunt office scissors sitting in the top drawer and stab me in the neck as I turn to get some help.