I wish people's butts got bigger when they had to poop

Granted. Their butt cheeks swell while needing to poop, but don't shrink after pooping. You can now tell who has held in their poops for longer periods of time on their life from their swollen buttocks.

The large intestine is now in the buttocks. Sitting for too long will cause obstruction. Falling on your ass has a good chance of causing defecation.

Granted. Now their butts are too big to use the toilet and pooping outside is the only viable option and the world is now covered in shit.

I’ll never look at Sabrina Carpenter the same way again

Yours doesn't?