Hey, bigender gay/omni person here, I remember being a girl and talking to this one girl. I had a crush on her but she ended the friendship saying she didn't like me and we wouldn't get along, and maybe that was for the best...
Anyway, one thing she said stuck with me. Well I get being lesbian and only liking cis women, not trans women, but the way she said it kinda irked me... am I overreacting?
"I want to date a GIRL. A REAL girl not a boy who wants to be a girl and turned into one!"
16 Comments
atheqtpie@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 30 pts · 258d
No, this is TERF behavior and not representative of the lesbian community by the way like the other comment said. I'm glad you're no longer her friend, leave her in the dust LOL. Not overreacting BTW
purplerabbit@piefed.blahaj.zone · 27 pts · 257d
I mean, that's pretty fucking transphobic. The fuck is a real girl? I'm not a boy who wants to be a girl. I'm a girl. A trans one, but still a girl.
Berengaria_of_Navarre@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 257d
A "real girl" is a brand of silicone sex doll. I won't link it here.
may_be@thelemmy.club · 7 pts · 257d
Exactly. You're as much of a girl as I am a boy, which means you are very much a girl.
Berengaria_of_Navarre@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 258d
Lesbians are more accepting of trans women than most people but obviously you get a few terfs.
atheqtpie@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 7 pts · 258d
I agree
applebusch@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 14 pts · 258d
As a trans woman who really wants to date cis and trans women, my biggest fear is having to experience this first hand. I'm so scared cis lesbians won't want to date me just because I have a penis...
SharkWeek@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 11 pts · 257d
Acrobaticmushroom@lemmings.world · 10 pts · 257d
I don't think you're overreacting. Everyone is entitled to their own tastes and it's fine to be more attracted to cisgender people, but the way that is phrased she has much bigger issues with trans people than just wanting to date one or not.
cassandrafatigue@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 257d
Oh, everyone's entitled to their own tastes. So if I say I only date subby Asians you wouldn't be creeped out?
Yeah people like different things, that doesn't mean desire is never driven by fucked up shit.
Acrobaticmushroom@lemmings.world · 1 pts · 255d
There's a difference between being attracted to certain types of people and fetishizing them. You can't force someone to be attracted to everyone, and if they aren't attracted to women that found out later in life that doesn't make them a bigot (although the person mentioned here definitely is for their other comments).
cassandrafatigue@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 255d
If you're attracted to someone, then find out they're trans, and as a result of that cease to be attracted to them: you are a transphobe.
I have heard all the arguments about this, and I'm not interested in hearing that bigot shit again.
erotador@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 6 pts · 257d
they are transphobic plain and simple. some people have a preference for genitals, but this was not about that for them, it was about the "validity" of your transness and that is bullshit
may_be@thelemmy.club · 0 pts · 257d
I agree, still stands but I should specify I'm a trans man now and I was a cis woman not a trans woman
Sivecano@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 256d
Even taken charitably I feel like this person fundamentally does not understand what a trans woman is...
Like... (And you can figure this out by talking to trans gals) they're women.
cassandrafatigue@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 257d
They kind of specify that they're transphobic here. I can't even make my usual 'yeah I've dated fake women before but the sex is always disappointing and they never say anything original' joke. It's completely unambiguous.
Alvaro@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 256d
Yeah that is just plain old transphobic. A trans woman is not a "boy who wants to be a girl" it is a girl who wants to be accepted as a girl by herself and others.
You don't control what body or brain you were born with. For most people the brain's gender matches the body's sex, but for some it does not.
You are you, if you know that you are a girl or a boy or neither or both, then no one can say otherwise. Others can either respect you or not, but it means absolutely nothing about you.