The 'Melania' Documentary Is Shaping Up To Be One Of The Biggest Box Office Bombs In The History Of Mankind And The Moving Image

https://brobible.com/culture/article/melania-documentary-ticket-sales/

Melania, the Brett Ratner directed documentary about former model and current First Lady Melania Trump, is shaping up to be one of the biggest bombs in the history of the art form known as cinema. While the film premieres in over 2,000 movie theaters on Friday, seemingly just handfuls of tickets have been sold.

168 points · 46 comments · view on lemmy.world

46 Comments

Archangel1313@lemmy.ca · 82 pts · 196d (2 replies)

Well, yeah. This was basically just a bribe. No one was actually supposed to watch it.

Mongostein@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 195d (1 reply)

I’m going to watch it once it becomes available on the high seas

Archangel1313@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 195d

Arr, me matey!

Tempus_Fugit@lemmy.world · 31 pts · 196d (2 replies)

I can't believe they decided to show this in theaters. They could have put this on prime and botted the numbers and no one would be the wiser.

BroBot9000@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 196d (1 reply)

Yeah but this way we get the enjoyment and schadenfreude of the numbers being on the record. 😂 I’m very much enjoying everything being posted about this flop.

a_non_monotonic_function@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 194d

I've seen government officials brag that one night only they bought out the entire theater and are giving away tickets for free.

It is f****** imperative that they stroke her ego on this one. Who knows what she has on Trump at this point.

PunnyName@lemmy.world · 30 pts · 196d (2 replies)

I don't even wanna pirate it.

cv_octavio@piefed.ca · 13 pts · 196d (1 reply)
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Railcar8095@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 195d

Deploy a swarm of leeches that do not seed and keep deleting and downloading the file.

With more effort it can probably just send the chunks to /dev/null

Still too much effort for Melania

DagwoodIII@piefed.social · 28 pts · 196d (4 replies)

I'd love to know what the thinking was.

Did Trump demand this to belittle her? Did he really think it would be a hit?

It would be a great SNL skit; all the former first ladies having a hen party watching it.

BrikoX@lemmy.zip · 52 pts · 196d (3 replies)

She got $28 millions into her personal pocket. That's all they care about.

DagwoodIII@piefed.social · 33 pts · 196d (2 replies)

To us, $28 million is a vast fortune.

In the crowd they run with, it's what you pay for a party.

BrikoX@lemmy.zip · 12 pts · 196d (1 reply)

Good point. Getting bribed is the point actual amount is just silly details for them.

DagwoodIII@piefed.social · 2 pts · 195d

It's my personal opinion. but I think it was Donnie trying to do something to humiliate Melania. Could be wrong, but that's the sense I get.

teft@piefed.social · 28 pts · 196d

melsaskca@lemmy.ca · 21 pts · 195d (4 replies)

Who cares? She got her 40 million. It didn't even need to be released as it was a pretense for a payoff anyway. Much like selling art is used for money laundering.

Brutticus@midwest.social · 10 pts · 195d (2 replies)

Brett Ratner, according the article, is now attached to direct Rush Hour 4, which the article implies is due to Trump (?) putting his fingers on the scales. It seems fishy

BrikoX@lemmy.zip · 8 pts · 195d (1 reply)
teft@piefed.social · 5 pts · 194d

Well they just guaranteed i won’t be purchasing a ticket to see RH4.

🏴‍☠️

SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 194d

You are paying for this. $40M payout to her, $75M tax write down for Netflix.

MantisToboggon@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 196d

As God intended.

A_Union_of_Kobolds@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 196d (5 replies)

Gross, theaters here in east TN are at least half full for the evening shows

I love the Blue Ridge but goddamn I hate so many of the people here

kinkles@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 196d (2 replies)

Same in AZ. I looked at times for a few of my local theaters expecting a laugh only to see most showings pretty full. It’s only the later ~8pm stuff with tons of seats open.

digredior@lemmynsfw.com · 6 pts · 196d

The salad and water God-Squad tends to be an “Early to bed… “ bunch

MotoAsh@piefed.social · 4 pts · 196d

Five bucks says if you showed up, the vast majority of those seats would be empty.

a_non_monotonic_function@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 196d (1 reply)

East TN is... Well, East TN.

A_Union_of_Kobolds@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 196d

Sadly yes =/ very pretty. Lots of chuds.

partial_accumen@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 196d

seemingly just handfuls of tickets have been sold.

When these scant few ticket holders were questioned, they responded in shock learning that the movie was about the current "first lady" and instead thought it was a documentary about skin cancer. After seeing the movie these same attendees did indeed the movie was cancer, though not in the way they expected.

waterSticksToMyBalls@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 196d (4 replies)

I thought the sex scene was tastefully done

Triumph@fedia.io · 12 pts · 196d (1 reply)

I'm pretty sure it was a shot for shot remake of Jabba and Leia.

MotoAsh@piefed.social · 2 pts · 196d

Aaajubba fukka-rolla-aaaa-aaahahhh~

cv_octavio@piefed.ca · 3 pts · 196d
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SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 195d

Someone needs to make a porn version ASAP.

smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 196d

Are you kidding? I streamed it and came so many times! Sure, the plot was thin, but that's half the fun! And the lead was honestly stunning.

Oh, wait, Melania? No no, I was talking about the porn flick, Melabia. My mistake.

derry@midwest.social · 6 pts · 196d

Wait until Oscar season.

Formfiller@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 195d (2 replies)

Itdidnttrickledown@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 195d (1 reply)

I feel the same way. I know there are nude pictures of her out there and I've never once considered looking for them.

Noodle07@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 194d

Oh wow now I'm scared to even look for other people's naked picture, I could find hers

SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 194d

frustrated_phagocytosis@fedia.io · 4 pts · 196d

Everyone with MAGA relatives should hide the TV remote and put this movie on full volume. Make them suffer for it.

disregardable@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 196d

It’s giving that scene in Marie Antoinette where she’s the only one clapping at the opera and no one else will clap with her.

derry@midwest.social · 3 pts · 195d (1 reply)

Audiences could do the funniest thing right now Woman wearing a coat that says I really don't care do you

derry@midwest.social · 1 pts · 195d
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Evotech@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 196d (1 reply)

I'm excited

It'll be cool to see how she views herself

But I won't be paying

BanMe@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 195d

We were at a theater and they showed a trailer for it, more than I needed to see - she's heroic, beautiful, graceful and powerful in it. No one was sure if it was a real thing or if someone was really committed to doing a spoof. "It really looks like her" said one person. Everyone was looking at each other, confused, at the end of the trailer. I would have booed but I also thought it must be a carefully committed spoof of some sort.

Sgt_choke_n_stroke@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 194d

It doesn't even deserve a razzie

Itdidnttrickledown@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 195d (1 reply)

Only a true trash human could be with trump. She has to know what he was up to and I wonder what she has done but in no way do I think she is clueless about what is going on around her.

SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 194d

She's always been a prostitute and just in it for the cash. What a horrible life, even street hookers get to say no.

inclementimmigrant@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 194d

Imagine that Americans, massive reality show junkies, are not interested in a THOT To Trot movie.

How crappy do you have to be to reach that state in life.