My smoking partner once told me he got some illegal treats from a eugenicist named Paul back when he was just a young boy. I asked him what they were but he just kept giving me these ridiculous cryptic answers like "fibreglass cotton balls" and "sporadic fish crystals". One day I had enough so I took his smokes away and smoked them all by myself. A message appeared in the smoke that finally explained the secrets of Paul the eugenicist, his secrets were too dark that even I can't repeat them. So if you ask me what they are I'm sorry but fibreglass cotton balls give me cuts all over my rectum when I shove them in my ass.
When my dog was a puppy I was the cop every day pulling out rocks and pieces of sticks out of her mouth. At one point she had an impressive rock collection.
11 Comments
affenlehrer@feddit.org · 25 pts · 193d
If there's on thing I learned from watching a lot of true crime, it's this: ALWAYS ASK FOR A LAWYER
No chit chat before, first thing you do is ask for a lawyer and then keep your mouth closed.
However, I just realized that it's probably directly to ask for a lawyer without opening your mouth a bit first....
xkbx@startrek.website · 10 pts · 193d
if you borked you gettin corked
jaybone@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 193d
Where did you study Dog Law?
MacaqueAndCheese@lemmy.ca · 9 pts · 193d
My smoking partner once told me he got some illegal treats from a eugenicist named Paul back when he was just a young boy. I asked him what they were but he just kept giving me these ridiculous cryptic answers like "fibreglass cotton balls" and "sporadic fish crystals". One day I had enough so I took his smokes away and smoked them all by myself. A message appeared in the smoke that finally explained the secrets of Paul the eugenicist, his secrets were too dark that even I can't repeat them. So if you ask me what they are I'm sorry but fibreglass cotton balls give me cuts all over my rectum when I shove them in my ass.
Iheartcheese@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 193d
Holds up spork
YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today · 6 pts · 193d
No
humantreat is illegal!OldChicoAle@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 193d
You must know my dog
YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 191d
The bull terrier at the end of the cul-de-sac? How's the feud with the neighbors going?
Tehbaz@lemmy.wtf · 5 pts · 193d
When my dog was a puppy I was the cop every day pulling out rocks and pieces of sticks out of her mouth. At one point she had an impressive rock collection.
JasonDJ@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 193d
If it's hard candy she's looking for, she should start her investigation at the White House.
ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 183d
Some of the details are weirdly melting together...