Finally we do not need to count it on fingers

Do I smell an ignobel in the wind?

Call me when there is a self-hosted solution.

Finger, toes. My wife's fingers and probably 5 or 6 of her toes. My neighbor's fingers and toes if there were beans in the chili.

Peepee poopoo

On fingers? Look, some of us need an abacus.

Edit: I also distinctly remember the claim that humans fart 14 times a day on average. Are you telling me this figure was just made up? Without counting the farts with smart underwear?! That’s a travesty. I was spreading misinformation this whole time.

I hope the subscription includes AI chatbot on app answering all my fart related questions

This is an art form, people, let's have some respect. The most famous Flatulist, or Fartiste, was Le Petomane, and there is currently a Flatulist named Mr. Methane, who claims to be the only current professional Fartiste, although we all know talented amateurs.

Video of Le Petomane in action

Clearly, comedy has evolved since then.

Not our brainfarts. Checkmate, atheist!

“We just genuinely don’t know. Isn’t that funny? [In] 2026 we don’t know if people are farting at night or not.”

That's dumb. Anybody who's married knows that people fart in their sleep, you just can't tell her or she'll get pissed.

Finally I can unplug the kazoo from my ass.