Sumerian dog joke finally EXPLAINED! (really)

It would be nice to have the translation of the joke before going on and on about possible explanations.

Here is the joke for anyone wondering:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bar_joke#First_recorded_example

A dog entered into a tavern and said, 'I cannot see anything. I shall open this'

Tl;dr of the video: ::: spoiler spoiler the bar is so lame that the dog plans to open his own bar :::

A man with both eyes squeezed shut walks into a bar. He cracks one open.