c/lemmyshitpost · by Maxxus@sh.itjust.works · 145dToo tired for a witty title 532 points · 40 comments · view on lemmy.world
40 Comments
gigastasio@sh.itjust.works · 41 pts · 145d
Ah shit. Sorry, I was stabbing someone. Guess I don’t get that coffee. 😔
cRazi_man@europe.pub · 17 pts · 145d
If you're stabbing a bad guy then you're still eligible for the coffee.
Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 145d
Everybody who stabs people thinks they're the bad guys.
Ziglin@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 145d
I stabbed myself so I don't actually get to pedantically ask whether it is the stabber or stabee that is considered the baddie :(
Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 145d
Usually when I do that it's more like who's the klutz.
diffaldo@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 5 pts · 145d
schrödinger's baddie
thenextguy@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 144d
Does your uniform have skulls on it?
WandowsVista@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 145d
thank you. this gave me the motivation I needed to stop scrolling on my phone in bed and to instead scroll on my phone from the can
with coffee
flambonkscious@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 144d
Ya can't stop progress!
(and by progress, we meant substance dependency)
WandowsVista@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 144d
I can stop anytime I want!
...my happiness is just dependent on me not wanting that.
Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 145d
Can I at least stab someone a little bit?
Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 145d
It did say "probably"! I think that's your loophole. Just pick a "Vic #1" type target.
(As in whodunnits where everyone has a motive to kill THAT guy)
thenextguy@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 144d
Isn’t being stabbed a binary condition? Like being pregnant. You’re either stabbed or you’re not.
JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 8 pts · 145d
I don't drink coffee. What alternative rewards are available to me for being kinda awake & reading words & not stabbing anyone?
cyberpunk007@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 145d
Tea?
thenextguy@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 145d
Chocolate
JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 144d
Aah yes chocolate is a lovely reward for not stabbing anyone.
thenextguy@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 144d
Also a good preventative.
LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 144d
I'm all out of chocolate and I've got a plethora of knives. *Opens used knife stand. $2 Dollar knives or a chocolate bar!
Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 145d
As a coffee preferer myself, I think if you have tea you'd be allowed a compensatory biscuit.
OldSageRick@lemmy.zip · 7 pts · 145d
I would prefer a nice cup of black tea instead please
Maxxus@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 145d
Apollo teasing just the tip.
Maxxus@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 145d
Then stabbing your fucking eyeballs while trying to get coffee.
Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 145d
Thank you Maxxus, it's been a long night and you just made facing the day worthwhile
CapOnBackwards@fedinsfw.app · 6 pts · 145d
RiceMunk@sopuli.xyz · 6 pts · 145d
Phew, thanks for reminding me that I need to go stab some people today! And thanks for the coffee; helps me stab better!
Nollij@sopuli.xyz · 3 pts · 144d
Roberto?
JusticeForPorygon@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 6 pts · 145d
You know what? I do deserve a coffee.
thenextguy@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 145d
What about second coffee?
panda_abyss@lemmy.ca · 6 pts · 145d
Can this be my coffee?
https://youtu.be/pxrmJxmmWtQ
jade52@lemmy.ca · 6 pts · 145d
Thanks, I do deserve another coffee.
CapOnBackwards@fedinsfw.app · 7 pts · 145d
Klear@quokk.au · 6 pts · 145d
Way ahead of you with that coffee.
Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 145d
Look how EFFICIENT you are!
miked@piefed.social · 5 pts · 144d
Thanks. I'm drinking my first beer to celebrate not stabbing anyone yet today.
VeryInterestingTable@jlai.lu · 5 pts · 145d
Don't mind if I do. ☕😌
CubitOom@infosec.pub · 4 pts · 145d
This sounds like a quote from Disco Elysium, so now I got this image in my head, which I will share.
shneancy@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 144d
sounds kinda like something exurb1a would say
DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 145d
I was just thinking about that.
ComradeMiao@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 145d
hope that dood in ikebukuro doesnt read this tonight... too late little sunbeam
nasquamesse@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 144d
I feel seen
Aeao@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 144d
I’m not stabbing anyone righ now! Maybe I am a good person! I am slicing someone right now but that isn’t a stab!
Philharmonic3@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 144d