[April Fools] From the makers of Productive Packer Plus™, introducing a new way to feel less lonesome while stranded on an alien planet: **Massage Matrons:** *The Foundations of Romance*™ 💘

ohh dear

Lizard doggo waifu? Are they trying to crash the internet?!

Brilliant.

*Also, this post made me aware that formatting works on titles. Neat!

Further details, credits, and easter eggs that I forgot to write at the time of the post:

• Insect-on-bike photo "borrowed" from https://bugunderglass.com/shop/weevil-knievel/ -- I came up with that pun myself and expected Ellizary to do a sketch of her own, oops 😅 It was too perfect of a joke to not use and I was in a hurry, sorry BugUnderGlass.
• All four ladies' personalities are obviously inspired by the in-game mannerisms of each creature.
• No shade, but German and Russian are kinda overdone for the Tough Muscular Woman trope, so I gave Vulka a Ukrainian accent (Slava Ukraini 🇺🇦). And "Divchynko" means "little girl", which I hope to hell can serve as both an insult and a term of endearment depending on context (note to self: spend some time learning the culture on yo' dad's side for once, dummy)
• Iniko is wearing the leathery remains of a Hatcher egg. FICSIT does not waste, and neither does the average insect. (Many insects IRL reuse their eggshells and molts IIRC)
• By coincidence, actual leather bras and bikinis are patterned similar to the designs on a Hatcher. This is where I got this cursed idea.
• Liz's toga is a Parachute/Fabric wrapped with Cable. See Doggo Cave on the west isles south of the Rocky Desert for some really nice visual storytelling on CSS's part.
• Though hard to see due to the UI, Vulka's shadow is just a triangle.
• This was not intentional, but Vulka's accent having her use extra Vs is also fittingly triangular.
• Iniko is always hovering off the ground, perhaps due to her spindly feet. Kudos to Ellizary for drawing this on her own just from my description of her behaviour; I hadn't thought of that.
• Iniko is mute aside from emotive chirps, so she uses sign language.
• "Relational database" is a real phrase from computing & data science. Probably my worst pun in this whole thing.
• Vulka has no cleavage, just one unified comfy chest-pillow. Undeniably-canon Spitter anatomy. Blame CSS for deliberately modelling a dinosaur-like lump between their front legs. With jiggle physics.
• Ellizary drew Iniko first. Absolute Chadette she is, starting with the more difficult and creative designs.
• For those who've played actual dating sims, I obviously modeled the UI based on the average RenPy game.
• The /r/Satisfactory mods nuked my post despite community approval of my joke (200+ upvotes). The lesbian romance was too powerful for them 😞