I had a gf once who wanted to watch women being tied up and flogged while I ate her out. I was fine with that. Bdsm isn't really my thing, but it made her insatiable.
Who'd want a girlfriend with a porn addiction anyway? Like addiction is a self destructive vice. I'm not saying someone couldn't love you regardless but who'd specifically seek it out? That's just chaser behaviour.
I think you might be giving them too much credit. There's also the aspect of addict = disability = unemployed/financially insecure = easier to entrap into a relationship she can't leave
Yeah, I 100% guarantee they aren't thinking of that at all. It's really clear both from the culture at large, and the contents of the message by "porn addict" they mean "horny often and into sex", and by "they don't want you" they mean you aren't up to the standards of enjoyment they get from the porn they like.
Okay, hypersexuality is itself a damaging addiction. Like I'm not sure its a clinical term but I've heard internet stories of women who in the moment aren't able to say no, but find themselves drowning in self loathing because they're too… for want of a better term addicted to sex to set healthy boundries. They don't even necessarily enjoy themselves. They just can't control themselves in much the same way a heroin addict can't.
And yeah, if we're talking addiction I'm taking the word at face value and assuming you mean clinical addiction. I'm guessing the hypothetical guy the meme refers to is expecting the "hypersexual who watches porn" as you put it, though I'd interpret that sentence very differently to how you probably meant it as I explained above.
I am probably just old enough that this kinda 'makes sense', but back when I was growing up:
Porn 'addiction' was not at all a prevalent thing, in the true sense of an actual addiction. It was much, muuch more common that if you just had or looked at any porn, maybe a couple times a week or month, not to the point that it was actively interfering with your life... this was decried and stigmatized as an addiction. If you were a teen and had a porno mag, and didn't throw it out after your parent found it, fairly good chance you are now a 'porn addict', time for an intervention from the local pastor.
Because of these more prudish, second wave of Satanic Panic type norms in the 90s and 00s... a gf with a 'porn addiction' would again likely not have a literal addicition, it would probably indicate just that they were an introvert, who is kinky/kink-curious, or even just sex-curious, had a manga that had some nudity in it, where nudity is potentially 'her dress is too low cut' or 'a form fitting body suit is functionally nudity'.
Like, if somebody was being called a 'porn addict' in the 90s/00s... fairly good chance that just there was a story going around that they had watched or viewed porn once, and been caught.
Not saying theres 0 chance they were an actual addict, nor that just generally 'seeking a porn addict gf' would be totally non problematic...
But back when Pokemon was evil because it 'teaches evolution' and Harry Potter was Satanic because 'Witchcraft!' ... yeah, porn consumption/viewing was often extremely overblown and pathologized/demonized.
And I do literally mean demonized, in some cases. 'The demon of lust has possessed you', type of shit.
At least in my personal experience, and the clips I've seen of, and stories that made it into a newspaper of evangelical Christians... it was almost always that Pokemon evolved.
Yes, some of them connected it to other kinds of... pagan spiritual practices, which they mostly made up in their own heads based on movies and that one time they read a book.
But yeah, same, 1hr of porn a day, for like, an adult?
Grab that bag, earn that nut, rofl.
EDIT: Also, Deadmau5 was not yet a thing when Pokemon hit the scene. =P
We talking clinical addiction? or like hypersexual who likes porn?
Because both are very different concepts. Many guys think they want a hypersexual horny partner only to learn how mediocre their stamina and libido is.
So I did actually 'date' a legitimate nymphomaniac once.
I could keep up, but the deal was no catching feelings, just casual fwb... and I eventually caught feelings, so it was basically just a very wild summer and autumn.
But uh yeah, I told a few friends about her uh, appetite, in fairly broad terms... half of them didn't believe me, that either she was that 'demanding', or that I had that much 'spare time', or both.
It means we put down some shower curtains, slathered ourselves, one in peanut butter, one in jelly, and got to it.
(We did try to avoid getting it in hair, didn't get it uh, anywhere internal, to avoid potential infections, cleaned things off before trying any insertions. we were prepared lol)
She told me she'd been dared by one of her friends, that if she didn't do it before they did, they get to slap her, vice versa.
... Not 100% sure if this was or was not a lie on her part, also, didn't care either way, but i guess theoretically, i was helping a poor lass avoid a nasty slap.
Well, you could say she knew the rules, and so did I.
It was an overall very good experience, I was sad for a while, but in a 'Ramble On' sort of way, bittersweet. I always knew it wouldn't be forever, that was clear from the start.
I'd say that it is real, it can get to a point where it is actively directly destroying other parts of your life, but... that's very, very rare.
It certainly is much more common that its basically just a pathologizing label hurled about by puritans or bullies... tons of research exists showing that regular masturbation is not only normal but is also good for you in many ways.
Christians have a tendency to pathologise anything that makes people happy, but that does not mean people can't take things that are safe in moderation too far. Most people drink alcohol responsibly. Some people don't and alcohol addiction is very much a thing
No he's literally right. Every bit of study on the topic has with out expectation that arnt religiously motivated or supported agree. That porn addiction isn't a real thing.
Its just literally not a real thing.
The closest thing you can get to is coping with depression or other mental illness with porn. Functionally turning sexual gratification into a form of self medication. But at that point it's no different then any other form of self medication.
But it's not an addiction, the word addiction has very specific medical definition which it doesn't fit into, and even using a loser colloquial definition you would have to stretch it so hard that it becomes nonsense to make the argument.
If I'm dating someone (assuming I was even the sort of person to date someone in the first place) I'd want to see them thrive and florish so self destruction is NOT a good thing to me
Different, same is okay but then you both gotta find something and agree on it and that's just always a boner killer. Much easier to both look at your own porn and go at it spooning.
Man here, tho i think this applies to all of us, your sexual and romantic interests dont always line up. This is generally good advice to keep in mind.
65 Comments
Berengaria_of_Navarre@lemmy.world · 68 pts · 114d
I had a gf once who wanted to watch women being tied up and flogged while I ate her out. I was fine with that. Bdsm isn't really my thing, but it made her insatiable.
Septimaeus@infosec.pub · 1 pts · 75d
Berengaria_of_Navarre@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 75d
I always do 😉
TheGingerNut@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 47 pts · 114d
Who'd want a girlfriend with a porn addiction anyway? Like addiction is a self destructive vice. I'm not saying someone couldn't love you regardless but who'd specifically seek it out? That's just chaser behaviour.
catfeeder@piefed.blahaj.zone · 76 pts · 114d
They probably think porn addict = always horny = many sex
TheGingerNut@lemmy.blahaj.zone · -12 pts · 114d
I think you might be giving them too much credit. There's also the aspect of addict = disability = unemployed/financially insecure = easier to entrap into a relationship she can't leave
psycotica0@lemmy.ca · 37 pts · 114d
Yeah, I 100% guarantee they aren't thinking of that at all. It's really clear both from the culture at large, and the contents of the message by "porn addict" they mean "horny often and into sex", and by "they don't want you" they mean you aren't up to the standards of enjoyment they get from the porn they like.
Soulg@ani.social · 15 pts · 113d
What the fuck, nobody thinks like this. Get help
Septimaeus@infosec.pub · 1 pts · 75d
IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 113d
Are we talking clinical addiction? as damaging as having a partner with a gambling addiction.
or metaphorical addiction? as in hypersexual who watches porn.
TheGingerNut@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 0 pts · 113d
Okay, hypersexuality is itself a damaging addiction. Like I'm not sure its a clinical term but I've heard internet stories of women who in the moment aren't able to say no, but find themselves drowning in self loathing because they're too… for want of a better term addicted to sex to set healthy boundries. They don't even necessarily enjoy themselves. They just can't control themselves in much the same way a heroin addict can't.
And yeah, if we're talking addiction I'm taking the word at face value and assuming you mean clinical addiction. I'm guessing the hypothetical guy the meme refers to is expecting the "hypersexual who watches porn" as you put it, though I'd interpret that sentence very differently to how you probably meant it as I explained above.
pennomi@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 109d
athatet@lemmy.zip · 1 pts · 113d
Nope it’s actually just a meme.
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 38 pts · 114d
I am probably just old enough that this kinda 'makes sense', but back when I was growing up:
Porn 'addiction' was not at all a prevalent thing, in the true sense of an actual addiction. It was much, muuch more common that if you just had or looked at any porn, maybe a couple times a week or month, not to the point that it was actively interfering with your life... this was decried and stigmatized as an addiction. If you were a teen and had a porno mag, and didn't throw it out after your parent found it, fairly good chance you are now a 'porn addict', time for an intervention from the local pastor.
Because of these more prudish, second wave of Satanic Panic type norms in the 90s and 00s... a gf with a 'porn addiction' would again likely not have a literal addicition, it would probably indicate just that they were an introvert, who is kinky/kink-curious, or even just sex-curious, had a manga that had some nudity in it, where nudity is potentially 'her dress is too low cut' or 'a form fitting body suit is functionally nudity'.
Like, if somebody was being called a 'porn addict' in the 90s/00s... fairly good chance that just there was a story going around that they had watched or viewed porn once, and been caught.
Not saying theres 0 chance they were an actual addict, nor that just generally 'seeking a porn addict gf' would be totally non problematic...
But back when Pokemon was evil because it 'teaches evolution' and Harry Potter was Satanic because 'Witchcraft!' ... yeah, porn consumption/viewing was often extremely overblown and pathologized/demonized.
And I do literally mean demonized, in some cases. 'The demon of lust has possessed you', type of shit.
kewwwi@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 114d
you overthinked, therefore you overamed 😉
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 20 pts · 114d
Am autistic, overthinking is what I do.
Thus: overamed?
over... armed?
over... abed?
over ... aimed?
thoughtfuldragon@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 32 pts · 114d
This is what happens when one puts Decartes before the whores.
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 13 pts · 113d
That's just... bravo, truly, very well done!
square@lemmy.zip · 11 pts · 113d
Outstanding
tr0xy@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 111d
Wait, Pokemon wasn’t evil because it had ghosts and shit?
I guess what one views as normal/healthy porn consumption differs. I wouldn’t blink an eye if somebody watched porn 1h every day.
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 111d
At least in my personal experience, and the clips I've seen of, and stories that made it into a newspaper of evangelical Christians... it was almost always that Pokemon evolved.
Yes, some of them connected it to other kinds of... pagan spiritual practices, which they mostly made up in their own heads based on movies and that one time they read a book.
But yeah, same, 1hr of porn a day, for like, an adult?
Grab that bag, earn that nut, rofl.
EDIT: Also, Deadmau5 was not yet a thing when Pokemon hit the scene. =P
IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 113d
We talking clinical addiction? or like hypersexual who likes porn?
Because both are very different concepts. Many guys think they want a hypersexual horny partner only to learn how mediocre their stamina and libido is.
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 5 pts · 113d
So I did actually 'date' a legitimate nymphomaniac once.
I could keep up, but the deal was no catching feelings, just casual fwb... and I eventually caught feelings, so it was basically just a very wild summer and autumn.
But uh yeah, I told a few friends about her uh, appetite, in fairly broad terms... half of them didn't believe me, that either she was that 'demanding', or that I had that much 'spare time', or both.
IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 113d
However it ended sounds like it was a fun summer,
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 113d
Long story short, I was heartbroken, but in a bittersweet way, I truly wasn't angry, she'd made the rules clear, and I understood.
Oh and we did have an 8 hour pb+j human sex sandwich sesh, that I am literally incapable of forgetting, so, that's a plus, lol.
IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 113d
What does pb+j human sex sandwich means?
I gotta know
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 113d
It means we put down some shower curtains, slathered ourselves, one in peanut butter, one in jelly, and got to it.
(We did try to avoid getting it in hair, didn't get it uh, anywhere internal, to avoid potential infections, cleaned things off before trying any insertions. we were prepared lol)
She told me she'd been dared by one of her friends, that if she didn't do it before they did, they get to slap her, vice versa.
... Not 100% sure if this was or was not a lie on her part, also, didn't care either way, but i guess theoretically, i was helping a poor lass avoid a nasty slap.
IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 113d
That was more literal than I thought. did you get hungry half way and has some jelly and pb as a snack?
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 113d
That sucks, so what if you catch feelings along the way? Two for one!
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 113d
Well, you could say she knew the rules, and so did I.
It was an overall very good experience, I was sad for a while, but in a 'Ramble On' sort of way, bittersweet. I always knew it wouldn't be forever, that was clear from the start.
DisgruntledGorillaGang@reddthat.com · 2 pts · 113d
Are you me?
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 2 pts · 113d
... I don't know, am I?
fluffykittycat@slrpnk.net · 7 pts · 113d
Porn addiction isn't even real, it's just a thing Christians invented to groom young men with sexual shame
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 113d
I'd say that it is real, it can get to a point where it is actively directly destroying other parts of your life, but... that's very, very rare.
It certainly is much more common that its basically just a pathologizing label hurled about by puritans or bullies... tons of research exists showing that regular masturbation is not only normal but is also good for you in many ways.
DisgruntledGorillaGang@reddthat.com · 4 pts · 113d
Literally anything can be an addiction.
TheGingerNut@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 0 pts · 113d
Christians have a tendency to pathologise anything that makes people happy, but that does not mean people can't take things that are safe in moderation too far. Most people drink alcohol responsibly. Some people don't and alcohol addiction is very much a thing
Holytimes@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 113d
No he's literally right. Every bit of study on the topic has with out expectation that arnt religiously motivated or supported agree. That porn addiction isn't a real thing.
Its just literally not a real thing.
The closest thing you can get to is coping with depression or other mental illness with porn. Functionally turning sexual gratification into a form of self medication. But at that point it's no different then any other form of self medication.
But it's not an addiction, the word addiction has very specific medical definition which it doesn't fit into, and even using a loser colloquial definition you would have to stretch it so hard that it becomes nonsense to make the argument.
trashgirlfriend@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 113d
The self destruction is the good part
TheGingerNut@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 113d
If I'm dating someone (assuming I was even the sort of person to date someone in the first place) I'd want to see them thrive and florish so self destruction is NOT a good thing to me
tr0xy@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 111d
I’d expect porn addicted people to like that because of shared interests
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 113d
Ahaha, at one point, I specifically wanted a "looser" type to "fix".
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 32 pts · 114d
... scrolling past this and only seeing a cropped part of the image... I thought it was eggs being fried up.
... makes more sense with the entire image, lol.
IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 114d
now I want fried eggs
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 14 pts · 113d
Well, I mean... I could ...
👉🥚👈
... and then maybe ...
🥵
... and that might be like 🍳 ?
IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 113d
yes please
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 9 pts · 113d
Ok, but only if you make me udon noodles later.
Deal?
IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 113d
Have some in my pantry. might make some for dinner
sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 6 pts · 113d
... are we in love now, is that how this works?
IAmNorRealTakeYourMeds@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 113d
Not sure, I will have to ask my gf @kewwwi@lemmy.world
trashgirlfriend@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 113d
Haha what if we went on an 8 hour goon sesh and kissed 😣😣😣😳😳👉👈
BrickEater@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 113d
Have you never fucked while both of you look at porn? Best option for a pair of gooners.
tr0xy@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 111d
same or different? (either way no, but I’m still curious what’s been meant)
BrickEater@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 110d
Different, same is okay but then you both gotta find something and agree on it and that's just always a boner killer. Much easier to both look at your own porn and go at it spooning.
AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip · 10 pts · 113d
Man here, tho i think this applies to all of us, your sexual and romantic interests dont always line up. This is generally good advice to keep in mind.
celeste@feddit.org · 4 pts · 113d
I'm asexual as fuck!
WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today · 3 pts · 113d
I find it funny how we all tend to have a certain ick to real people, but can't place my finger on why. I do this too.
Having said that, I did have a period where I offered whatever people wanted to anything that walks.