This is why I open up earlier. Not at the first date or something, but at most a few months in.
You will eventually open up, and if it grosses your partner out to the point of ruining your relationship, you better know now rather than later, when you've spent so much time together and have more to lose.
Good idea! When I was a kid I almost drown in the river. That made me silent for two years from age five to seven, and when I was seven my voice slowly came back to me and I begun speaking again gradually.
I've heard variations on this basic story in men's spaces online so, so many times. He made the classic mistake of opening up about his fears and vulnerabilities.
If you open up to someone and they get weirded out this bad, they probably weren't worth having in your life anyway, or at least aren't right now.
Granted, if you have actual past trauma, you should work on it with a therapist instead of your partner. And if your partner hasn't gone through something similar and can't relate at all, you shouldn't go into great detail about it. I disclose what the general trauma was about and leave it at that.
Fuck all that "Gary Cooper" John Wayne build walls bullshit.
which is precisely why everyone is staying single. they are disgusted by each other's vulnerability and humanity.
and people do not work on their trauma, they expect their partner to fix it for them. and they think you're an asshole if you don't make them magically happy and make up for all the shit their daddy/mommy didn't do for them. and they are totally clueless to the concept that... they can do that for themselves! they are no longer helpless children!
16 Comments
Psionicsickness@reddthat.com · 44 pts · 126d
Anon fell victim to one of the classic blunders!
fckreddit@lemmy.ml · 4 pts · 126d
Being in a relatonship is a pretty big blunder. /s
Allero@lemmy.today · 39 pts · 126d
This is why I open up earlier. Not at the first date or something, but at most a few months in.
You will eventually open up, and if it grosses your partner out to the point of ruining your relationship, you better know now rather than later, when you've spent so much time together and have more to lose.
caseyweederman@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 126d
Heck, start even earlier. Open a few months prior to the relationship!
lb_o@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 126d
Good idea! When I was a kid I almost drown in the river. That made me silent for two years from age five to seven, and when I was seven my voice slowly came back to me and I begun speaking again gradually.
caseyweederman@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 125d
!remindme three months bring flowers
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 126d
that's why you do it back to them when they do it to you. taste of their own medicine.
IndustryStandard@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 114d
First date? More like meeting the psychiatrist
SwingingTheLamp@piefed.zip · 31 pts · 126d
I've heard variations on this basic story in men's spaces online so, so many times. He made the classic mistake of opening up about his fears and vulnerabilities.
Kimjongtooill@sh.itjust.works · 41 pts · 126d
If you open up to someone and they get weirded out this bad, they probably weren't worth having in your life anyway, or at least aren't right now.
Granted, if you have actual past trauma, you should work on it with a therapist instead of your partner. And if your partner hasn't gone through something similar and can't relate at all, you shouldn't go into great detail about it. I disclose what the general trauma was about and leave it at that.
Fuck all that "Gary Cooper" John Wayne build walls bullshit.
https://youtu.be/psN1DORYYV0
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world · -4 pts · 126d
which is precisely why everyone is staying single. they are disgusted by each other's vulnerability and humanity.
and people do not work on their trauma, they expect their partner to fix it for them. and they think you're an asshole if you don't make them magically happy and make up for all the shit their daddy/mommy didn't do for them. and they are totally clueless to the concept that... they can do that for themselves! they are no longer helpless children!
alexquiniou@lemmy.zip · 14 pts · 126d
What have you said ? What is you trauma ?
Because trauma doesn't mean you are the victim.
herrvogel@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 126d
OP has PTSD from when he was a mafia hitman specializing in murdering the families of small business owners who didn't pay protection money.
Little8Lost@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 126d
"as long as i live"
sure, as long as your streaming
rbos@lemmy.ca · 8 pts · 126d
Trauma-dumping everything at once seems like a bad strategy. Trickle out the crazy.
Arcane2077@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 125d
The childhood trauma: The dumbest shit you ever heard