I'm not better at any particular thing. I've transcended being better at particular things. I am simply optimized, to the most absolute and radical degree.
While I'm still asleep an AI-generated orchestra radiates subsonic symphonic movements into my cerebral cortex. I awaken when the symphony reaches a crescendo. I take a coffee-ginseng bath while smart contact lenses display the latest economic data. I don't use the data for anything because that would degrade the quality of the data as it rewires my brain. Then my muscles are electrically stimulated in my electro-gym machine (a repurposed tanning bed designed by Japanese drug lords). Then my blood vessels are cleansed in a zero-G centrifuge laboratory (blood pumped out and replaced with a cleansing saline solution while the blood is filtered of all impurities and finally returned to my body). Then it's three hours of wall-climbing while screaming at the top of my lungs.
here's another one if you use chatGPT to solve the first one. Anyone who is fully optimized should be able to solve analytically shrodingers second order partial differential equation.
start with those problems, then we'll talk if you are fully optimized.
72 Comments
mech@feddit.org · 27 pts · 73d
"AMA and receive thoughtless one-liner answers"
Good thread, OP. I fully optimized your mom last night.
lime@feddit.nu · 21 pts · 73d
for what?
sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works · 19 pts · 73d
Just generally optimized.
lime@feddit.nu · 9 pts · 73d
just better at everything?
sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works · 29 pts · 73d
I'm not better at any particular thing. I've transcended being better at particular things. I am simply optimized, to the most absolute and radical degree.
Objection@lemmy.ml · 15 pts · 72d
lime@feddit.nu · 6 pts · 73d
how good were you before?
sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works · 28 pts · 73d
Part of being optimized is not dwelling on the past.
lime@feddit.nu · 6 pts · 73d
yeah but percentage-wise?
sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works · 22 pts · 72d
∞%
garbage_world@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 72d
Valmond@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 10 pts · 73d
Not answering quickly it seems.
Lumidaub@feddit.org · 17 pts · 73d
But are you fully functional?
sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works · 20 pts · 73d
I've transcended functionality.
Miller@lemmy.world · 31 pts · 73d
You're a manager?
Lumidaub@feddit.org · 7 pts · 73d
Then what good are you?
sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works · 17 pts · 73d
I'm not good, I'm optimized.
Klear@piefed.world · 15 pts · 72d
What is the most optimal question to ask you?
sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works · 14 pts · 72d
"Are you fully optimized?"
Klear@piefed.world · 16 pts · 72d
Are you fully optimized?
sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works · 17 pts · 72d
YES
subOrange@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 73d
What’s your morning routine?
sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works · 35 pts · 73d
While I'm still asleep an AI-generated orchestra radiates subsonic symphonic movements into my cerebral cortex. I awaken when the symphony reaches a crescendo. I take a coffee-ginseng bath while smart contact lenses display the latest economic data. I don't use the data for anything because that would degrade the quality of the data as it rewires my brain. Then my muscles are electrically stimulated in my electro-gym machine (a repurposed tanning bed designed by Japanese drug lords). Then my blood vessels are cleansed in a zero-G centrifuge laboratory (blood pumped out and replaced with a cleansing saline solution while the blood is filtered of all impurities and finally returned to my body). Then it's three hours of wall-climbing while screaming at the top of my lungs.
0ops@piefed.zip · 7 pts · 72d
This is lyrics to a King Missile song, right?
sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works · 14 pts · 72d
My evening routine consists largely in cleaning my detachable penis and running it through a series of unit tests.
InfiniteStruggle@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 72d
Tell me more about this detachable penis of yours. Where would one... acquire such a tool?
sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 72d
If you already have one, simply detach it. If you don't have one, simply find a male and ask him to attach his penis to your vagina.
garbage_world@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 72d
rain_worl@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 71d
that seems unoptimized (i could do better)
sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 71d
You're all talk.
rain_worl@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 71d
hah! you'll eat your words in the most inefficient manner soon! i will be fully optimised by... uhh... wow that's a big number...
PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca · 14 pts · 72d
When will you wear wigs?
sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 72d
To the Optimization Ball.
sunsofold@lemmy.zip · 11 pts · 72d
Why have you stopped taking your meds?
sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works · 15 pts · 72d
I have transcended my meds.
I AM OPTIMIZED
QuinnyCoded@sh.itjust.works · 11 pts · 72d
what kind of keyboard do you use?
sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works · 11 pts · 72d
Keychron K5 SE (low profile) with mint switches (65g actuation force)
swab148@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 11 pts · 72d
Can you run DOOM?
Buddahriffic@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 72d
That's for functional. If you want to test optimized, can you run Crysis?
Akasazh@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 72d
You're already OP in this thread.
What follows is that your are timized
Una@europe.pub · 9 pts · 72d
When?
sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works · 10 pts · 72d
Immediately
Una@europe.pub · 3 pts · 72d
How?
Nindelofocho@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 72d
Optimally.
hedge_lord@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 72d
What is the most optimized colour? For general optimality purposes. I like green.
sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works · 10 pts · 72d
I am the rainbow
gigastasio@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 72d
26C FA582CC113 9063BB? A165? 3DA76 B2B2, 767A1A?
sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works · 21 pts · 72d
Ah yes, the Fibonacci sequence. Classic.
gigastasio@sh.itjust.works · 13 pts · 72d
Dear god, you really are fully optimized!
etchinghillside@reddthat.com · 7 pts · 73d
Why did you oil bukkake the pillow guy?
sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works · 12 pts · 73d
It's just part of the optimization process.
silver@das-eck.haus · 7 pts · 72d
Does this make you the ultimate optimist
sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 72d
absolutely
dis_da_mor@anarchist.nexus · 6 pts · 73d
sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 73d
∞
missingno@fedia.io · 14 pts · 72d
Well that doesn't sound optimized at all.
Miller@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 72d
A little slack is due, he had to search how to type the infinity symbol for another answer so was just optimising the effort.
lime@feddit.nu · 2 pts · 72d
no, no, this is the first one
BOplaid@discuss.tchncs.de · 6 pts · 72d
What do you think of unoptimized people?
sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works · 11 pts · 72d
They are the dirt from which I grew
Bohne93@feddit.org · 4 pts · 72d
Is your name Eric?
LuigiMaoFrance@lemmy.ml · 4 pts · 72d
RE-OPTIMIZED
Chaf@slrpnk.net · 3 pts · 72d
It's Erik with a K, goddamnit!
dgdft@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 72d
What’s your peptide stack, and how many times a day do you cold plunge + sauna?
sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works · 4 pts · 72d
Skunk resin
I bathe in coffee & ginseng every morning
folekaule@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 72d
Are you a level 9 turtle?
GlizzyGobbler@fedinsfw.app · 1 pts · 71d
Where did all the excess cheese from farmers go?
sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 71d
There is no excess cheese. There is only cheese.
Fluffy_Ruffs@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 72d
Why Dr. Phil?
iusemybrain@sh.itjust.works · 0 pts · 71d
find all possible eigenvalues and eigenvectors for the following 3 x 3 square matrix [1/0 1/0 1/0; 1/0 1/0 1/0; 1/0 1/0 1/0]
sentient_loom@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 71d
NO
iusemybrain@sh.itjust.works · 0 pts · 71d
here's another one if you use chatGPT to solve the first one. Anyone who is fully optimized should be able to solve analytically shrodingers second order partial differential equation.
start with those problems, then we'll talk if you are fully optimized.