Uri Geller claims credit for England World Cup success after using 'alien crystal skull'

Any time Uri Geller is near a spoon, sprinkle some of James Randi's ashes around it. Like kryptonite.

Imagine if he actually believes it. He could just be delusional.

No shortage of rubes giving him money.

Not to be that guy, but calling that planet system by the P word is seen as derogatory in this day and age. Please refer to it by the name □□□□-□'□□. You may not be able to pronounce it correctly if you only have two orifices in your face that can emit sounds, but the locals will appreciate the effort.

well, the enemy of my enemy, right?

Not only is he alive, he's making big money off the Mossad as a psychic spy and investors hire him to psychically detect new oil fields. He owns an island, and a museum. Located in the Jaffa port in Tel Aviv, this museum is a renovated Ottoman-era soap factory featuring a vast collection of his memorabilia. It holds the Guinness World Record for the world's largest steel spoon (53 feet long) and houses items that once belonged to Michael Jackson.

He once tried to psychically block Brexit.

He was no Kreskin, who was amazing.

From where is this?

Dan Akroyd's, too.

Sorry. The original source was The Daily Star, which I thought was worse. I realize the story is garbage, but I was going by Rule 4: the headline immediately made me think, "Is this an Onion headline?"