Most of my friends married and moved on, had kids, etc. Our lives are so dramatically different that even if I reach out and try to reconnect, I'm still "that weird guy from school"- I can tell immediately when I see them.
The other friends are deceased. Those were the friends I expected would outlive me. I'd hear from them every year or two when they came back to town. That hasn't happened now for a few years, because they're all gone. They were better looking and more social than I was and they're no longer with us. Doesn't inspire confidence.
Making new friends feels impossible without lying and bullshitting about who I really am. Each new person I start to befreind says something insane/far right and it's instantly ruined.
Excluding family, nobody even remembered my birthday this year. No texts, no cards. If I weren't useful at my job I would be completely invisible.
I force myself out of my comfort circle every weekend and go to the big city. All I wind up achieving is a few hundred less dollars in the bank, with a bit of heartburn and a hangover in the morning.
Is there something anyone can recommend? I don't know if there's anything else to try.
11 Comments
DaanBanaan@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 4d
Look into activities in which you can join a club or group. I started playing golf about ten years ago and my social circle expanded massively.
TammyTobacco@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 4d
Same for me, I started playing disc golf and go to the local weekly league night and slowly have been making friends.
tedd_deireadh@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 4d
Hobbies are a great way to meet new people. You don't have to get very deep into it either. I actually got my inspiration from a list of the top hobbies women find attractive funnily enough.
https://datepsychology.com/the-most-and-least-attractive-male-hobbies/
mrmisses@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 4d
Video games? I'm about the same age and have moved so much that I have no friends left other than some old former co-workers from across the country I text with. Anyway, I play video games and smoke weed to keep myself entertained.
Reygle@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 4d
Wish it were legal here. I have a few discord buddies but I'm the "weird one" in the group I suspect. I do play some games- I play the daily run of Binding of Isaac every day.
mrmisses@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 4d
I'm always getting a fresh batch of games when they go on sale. I wait until they are around $10 on steam so they are older but it doesn't matter when you don't have friends! Or they are single player.
dual_sport_dork@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 4d
Get a motorcycle. Trust me, you will be up to your armpits in bros by the time you reach your third traffic light. If the traffic light trick doesn't work, stop off at any roadside café or any other joint that has a bunch of bikes parked in front of it.
It sounds like I'm being facetious. I'm not. Two of my best friends I met purely through motorcycle channels, and one of them was a initially rando I literally stopped next to at a red light. What with one thing and another he is now my neighbor, and moved in to a house one block up the street from me.
Contrary to popular opinion, alas, motorcycle (and sports car) ownership does not attract much in the way of chicks. Only dudes. But on the bright side, if everything else isn't working out you can also just...
partial_accumen@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 4d
Do a google search for your city to find a place people meet to play board games. Let people know you're new but would like to play. Play board games with people. Be generally kind and sociable. Return the next time the gaming group meets. Repeat.
HubertManne@piefed.social · 1 pts · 3d
I mean I kinda feel the same but im married and you can't really keep as close a friends when you are. I guess I don't live in an area with so many far right folk or they don't talk about their politics. I am also like 10 years older and I don't even like thinking about my own birthday or being reminded about it. I am still that wierd guy and possibly getting wierder. the far right bs is making me less inclined to conform. if I was looking for people to hang there are folks at the protest I go to and I could likely find a gaming group if I put my mind to it.
TheReturnOfPEB@reddthat.com · 1 pts · 4d
Stick with the city living.
Find joy in getting any birthday cards because at some point those stop, too.
Start searching for places in the city that you haunt that have a nice sunset or sunrise. You can go there on days when you need a lift. Find the tallest building that has the tallest public area for inspiration. Go to art house films alone. That is an easy one. Make yourself find a diner that you go to every Tuesday or whatever day that has cheap breakfast specials. Keep going until they recognize you.
Get to know your city like it is your job to be a tour guide. What are the art museums ? What was the biggest industrial building in the city ? Who were the authors most famous or infamous from your city ? Read them. Where was the most famous bar fight in your city that is closed down now ? Go walk by and see what it is like today.
Find an arcade as they are making a comeback.
And listen to this song poem by Tanya Davis: How to be Alone or read it here.
The universe might be one's friend.
x_pikl_x@lemmy.world · 0 pts · 4d
Get a dog