US military asks troops for ‘creative and unconventional’ ideas to punish Iran
https://kvia.com/politics/cnn-us-politics/2026/08/02/exclusive-us-military-asks-troops-for-creative-and-unconventional-ideas-to-punish-iran/
46 points · 12 comments · view on lemmy.world
12 Comments
LeonineAlpha@sh.itjust.works · 21 pts · 12h
Lol, feel like this belongs in "non-credible defense"
Provide them British food?
Air-Drop horse condoms, to create penile insecurity in the population?
Bombard them with mp3 players loaded with ai/auto tuner music?
Open a McDonalds chain?
Get Trump's guy to fix their swimming pools?
Fund their GOP party?
Send evangelical christians to proselytize?
Provide all you can eat Ivermectin buffetts?
Cancel all Tuesdays to improve Trump's negotiating position?
Send Sargon, Hammurabi, Ashnerbanerpal and Gilgamesh to kick ass? The Punisher? Judge Dread? Steven Seigal?
Meme Coin Market bizarres?
DNA replacement therapy virus to turn camels into alpacas? Or consumer rebates for Cybertrucks?
Shitzus?
DisasterTransport@startrek.website · 5 pts · 11h
Expose them to as much american cable news media as possible
Airdrop s billion copies of art of the deal
Pull out and focus on doing your job running a global hegemony
oh wait that last one is too credible
Siegehammer85@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 14h
The gay bomb you won a Nobel peace prize for? Why don't you use that? Nothing more destructive to a religious totalitarian government than turning gay. And while you're at it drop it in red states too, maybe they'd be less pent up and murdery if they finally came out of the closet.
Forester@pawb.social · 4 pts · 12h
You see we call it the gay bomb but it's actually the rape bomb. Do with this info what you will
DisasterTransport@startrek.website · 7 pts · 11h
Canola bomb is actually preferred for marketing purposes nowadays
Siegehammer85@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 6h
But if it makes all combatants equally gay and equally rapey is cancels each other out. They could just man-train it in a circle. Now just throw in the brown sound weapon and this would be something worthy of Newgrounds flash animation in 2008
nkat2112@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 11h
The desperation is understandably obvious.
There likely were no convenient answers from AI either, and the outcome is much like what analysts at the Pentagon had predicted it would be - though Netanyahu somehow has Trump's ear.
So now he's left with crowdsourcing the problem.
Someone else commented that this belongs in the Non-Credible Defense topic. I fully agree.
I also stand with the other individual who commented that the US needs to ask for forgiveness. Immediately following that, reparations should be made.
Connected to this situation is the ongoing genocide and the Epstein files that have yet to be released as lawfully required.
ms_lane@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 16h
Couldn't get any suggestions from AI.mil then?
stumu415@lemmy.zip · 6 pts · 16h
Give them a cuddle?
melsaskca@lemmy.ca · 6 pts · 11h
What about 'creative and unconventional' ways to ask for forgiveness?
Miller@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 15h
Stay true to your word.
FlashMobOfOne@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 6h
Jesus Christ, I wish Donald had been lucid when the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs told him not to start this war.