One thing I do is intentionally procrastinate (postpone a task to a time that doesn't feel like the present) but also make an "appointment" to get it done. E.g., decide that I'll wash the dishes at 2pm which is a few hours from now, and set a phone alarm or similar to go off at that time. I actually find myself anticipating the alarm once 2pm is getting near, so when it finally sounds, I've been waiting for it and I'm ready to immediately silence the alarm and start the task. I kind of got the idea from here, and it helps:
What has worked for me is setting a time rather than a deadline. It's just like having an appointment at that time. You have to show up at the stated time, and that's a separate matter from doing anything in particular once you're there. But once the time is approaching, I find myself anticipating the task and even being eager to do it.
Deadline imho is the wrong idea, it means again putting the thing off to the last possible moment, and then being in a miserable crunch.
tear yourself away from where you're stewing in hesitation. put in some music in your ears. get a little tipsy or high if you absolutely have to (only do this in moderation), just get OUT of the headspace of 'ugh but i dont wanna'. any other will do, just move. Do the easiest thing first. get momentum and do not let it go.
Set it up so it is easier to start after you finish something else or while waiting for something else. Eg writing an email I don't want to write. Open it on a different monitor than a game. In between matches type anything on it. Sometimes I get going well enough I just exit the queue.
Just do it. You have to force yourself through sheer willpower, until it becomes a habit. It sucks. But it's the only way to change this behavior, because every time you indulge it, you reinforce the wrong habits.
Like I said..."sheer willpower". It's like fighting an addiction, except giving in to your urge to do nothing right now, is the "drug". Time and repetition is the only way to form new behavioral habits. It's hard...but, it can be done as long as you don't give up, even when you fail occasionally.
Depends on the task. For larger project I need sub goals. Break the job down into smaller tasks. I don't like starting stuff that can't be finished in the available time that day. It's better to have 5 smaller targets, so I can do one or two of them that day and scale up or down depending on what happens. I like to reserve time to also clean up the stuff, so I can continue on stage 3 the next day from scratch instead of leaving a stressful mess that'll get in the way and remind me of having do it.
For more mondane stuff like cleaning it's mostly a matter of just putting things back once I'm done. Cleaning is a lot easier if I don't have to tidy everything up first.
Cooking is the same. Most dishes involve some time where food just heats. Clean up your fucking mess in that time, so you can start cooking in a clean kitchen again tomorrow.
Sounds like adhd maybe? What works for me is mild distraction through audio books. I only listen to them if I have some sort of mindless activity to do at the same time, and since I want to get forward in the audiobook, I find constant reasons through cleaning and exercise, etc..
Okay but in all seriousness, I used to absolutely hate hearing what everyone else here is saying, that you "just have to get up and start doing it" because that never worked for me. After getting diagnosed with ADHD and settling on 40mg Lisdexamphetamine in the morning, that advice actually started working.
What I like to call temporal horror vacui. Some things are easy to start, they do require some periodic checking, but are otherwise passive. So I'll start a 3d print, get water boiling on the stove, or start running an offline backup. Then my mind is bothered that those are such "empty", "unproductive" tasks, and so reactively fills in the gaps with things I've been procrastinating like dishes, meal prep, planning, etc.
Also body doubling. For emails, I have a good friend at work who also massively struggles with them, so every now and then, we make a commitment to each other and for an hour or two, both sweep through our inboxes, with a bit of commiseration along the way.
Anyway, it's still a struggle that makes me wonder about seeking an ADHD evaluation ... next month maybe.
29 Comments
Sonotsugipaa@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 16 pts · 1d
That's the neat part, I don't
solrize@lemmy.ml · 9 pts · 1d
One thing I do is intentionally procrastinate (postpone a task to a time that doesn't feel like the present) but also make an "appointment" to get it done. E.g., decide that I'll wash the dishes at 2pm which is a few hours from now, and set a phone alarm or similar to go off at that time. I actually find myself anticipating the alarm once 2pm is getting near, so when it finally sounds, I've been waiting for it and I'm ready to immediately silence the alarm and start the task. I kind of got the idea from here, and it helps:
https://terrytao.wordpress.com/2008/08/07/on-time-management
1Malayali@lemmy.ml · 4 pts · 1d
Thank you. So, setting a time or deadline I choose and then sticking to that
Thank you for the link too
solrize@lemmy.ml · 6 pts · 1d
What has worked for me is setting a time rather than a deadline. It's just like having an appointment at that time. You have to show up at the stated time, and that's a separate matter from doing anything in particular once you're there. But once the time is approaching, I find myself anticipating the task and even being eager to do it.
Deadline imho is the wrong idea, it means again putting the thing off to the last possible moment, and then being in a miserable crunch.
1Malayali@lemmy.ml · 4 pts · 1d
Thank you.
Wil try it as framing it as an appointment then
toomanypancakes@crazypeople.online · 7 pts · 1d
Why, that sounds like a question for tomorrow me to answer
LemsGhost@lemmy.ml · 6 pts · 1d
I don't it's why I'm miserable.
lntl@lemmy.ml · 6 pts · 1d
I try to maintain a habit of starting. Finishing a task is obv a noble goal and building the habiting of starting helps me get there.
orenj@leminal.space · 6 pts · 1d
tear yourself away from where you're stewing in hesitation. put in some music in your ears. get a little tipsy or high if you absolutely have to (only do this in moderation), just get OUT of the headspace of 'ugh but i dont wanna'. any other will do, just move. Do the easiest thing first. get momentum and do not let it go.
wuphysics87@lemmy.ml · 5 pts · 1d
Set it up so it is easier to start after you finish something else or while waiting for something else. Eg writing an email I don't want to write. Open it on a different monitor than a game. In between matches type anything on it. Sometimes I get going well enough I just exit the queue.
Archangel1313@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 1d
Just do it. You have to force yourself through sheer willpower, until it becomes a habit. It sucks. But it's the only way to change this behavior, because every time you indulge it, you reinforce the wrong habits.
1Malayali@lemmy.ml · 3 pts · 1d
True
Knowing that vs Doing that for things without immediate deadlines seems to be an issue
Archangel1313@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 1d
Like I said..."sheer willpower". It's like fighting an addiction, except giving in to your urge to do nothing right now, is the "drug". Time and repetition is the only way to form new behavioral habits. It's hard...but, it can be done as long as you don't give up, even when you fail occasionally.
Viceversa@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1d
Or medicate your ADHD
AfterlifeAdventures@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1d
Take adderall and smoke a bowl/joint/bong rips
Viceversa@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1d
That seems wild
AfterlifeAdventures@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1d
It works, I struggle otherwise
AFallingAnvil@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 1d
Saving this to reply to later
bstix@feddit.dk · 5 pts · 1d
Depends on the task. For larger project I need sub goals. Break the job down into smaller tasks. I don't like starting stuff that can't be finished in the available time that day. It's better to have 5 smaller targets, so I can do one or two of them that day and scale up or down depending on what happens. I like to reserve time to also clean up the stuff, so I can continue on stage 3 the next day from scratch instead of leaving a stressful mess that'll get in the way and remind me of having do it.
For more mondane stuff like cleaning it's mostly a matter of just putting things back once I'm done. Cleaning is a lot easier if I don't have to tidy everything up first. Cooking is the same. Most dishes involve some time where food just heats. Clean up your fucking mess in that time, so you can start cooking in a clean kitchen again tomorrow.
ultranaut@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1d
Schedule an alarm, keep rescheduling until its done.
Scrath@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 4 pts · 1d
I usually tell me that I'll be happy to have already done that thing later in the day whereas I will curse my earlier self if I still haven't done it.
Sometimes it even works. Usually for small stuff like emptying the dish washer at least.
1Malayali@lemmy.ml · 3 pts · 1d
Thank you
PresidentCamacho@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 1d
Sounds like adhd maybe? What works for me is mild distraction through audio books. I only listen to them if I have some sort of mindless activity to do at the same time, and since I want to get forward in the audiobook, I find constant reasons through cleaning and exercise, etc..
TheLeadenSea@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 1d
Executive dysfunction you mean? ADHD meds can sometimes help, also having external authority forcing you to do it
I also sometimes cope by impulsively doing it if I have internal motivation, but that can lead to doing unwise things too
1Malayali@lemmy.ml · 3 pts · 1d
Not sure.
Was recommended a ADHD online test in another post on this similar topic. It said that I likely did not have it.
Viceversa@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1d
We are bad at self estimation though
yxc999@lemmy.ml · 3 pts · 1d
Lisdexamphetamine
Okay but in all seriousness, I used to absolutely hate hearing what everyone else here is saying, that you "just have to get up and start doing it" because that never worked for me. After getting diagnosed with ADHD and settling on 40mg Lisdexamphetamine in the morning, that advice actually started working.
DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1d
Deal with it?
monovergent@lemmy.ml · 2 pts · 1d
What I like to call temporal horror vacui. Some things are easy to start, they do require some periodic checking, but are otherwise passive. So I'll start a 3d print, get water boiling on the stove, or start running an offline backup. Then my mind is bothered that those are such "empty", "unproductive" tasks, and so reactively fills in the gaps with things I've been procrastinating like dishes, meal prep, planning, etc.
Also body doubling. For emails, I have a good friend at work who also massively struggles with them, so every now and then, we make a commitment to each other and for an hour or two, both sweep through our inboxes, with a bit of commiseration along the way.
Anyway, it's still a struggle that makes me wonder about seeking an ADHD evaluation ... next month maybe.