It's normal for people to be violent toward me, and obtaining requisites to sustain being consistently causes people anger. People often don't tolerate me complaining, even to ask for help when in overwhelming pain. Sleeping hasn't been allowed in years. I feel sad. I'm worried I'll lose ability to speak by complaining.
4 Comments
ExtraMedicated@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1d
If any of what you're saying is true (and I don't mean to imply that I think you're making things up, it's just that what you're describing is so far beyond anything I've ever witnessed that I find it difficult to imagine), then it sounds like you are surrounded by some truely horrible people.
Your posts seem quite vague though. I don't know if you ever mentioned what country you're in, who these people are or how it's even possible for them to prevent you from speaking.
beumuth@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1d
I have said what city & country I live in somewhat recently. I've been giving specific instances of my life-partner being violent toward me, including censorship by destroying my laptop, though this isn't the only relevant violence I experience. I'm used to being gaslit when people are violent or when requesting for it to stop : (. I'm used to people being intolerant me of requesting help and getting banned. I've shared so much about myself online. I'm used to people questioning whether I'm human or real.
ExtraMedicated@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1d
I think I'm not particularly knowledgable or qualified enough to give real trustworthy advice, but it really sounds like you're in a dangerously abusive relantionship and need to get as far away from your partner as possible.
You do not need anyone's permission. You do not need to tell anyone where you're going. Forget about karma, your life is much more important. Find a shelter or a social worker or something like that.
Do not stay with an abusive partner. I lost count of all the stories I've heard of people being murdered by that type of person.
beumuth@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 12h
Thanks for responding. There is a lot to explain through. I want to make a crayon drawing & rest some first though.