Couple of days ago P's got back from an 8 day trip up north. As expected ol' girl didn't eat much. I fought pretty hard for them to take soup up (only thing substantial she can eat) which they reluctantly did. Chucked her on the scales (with a few arguments along the way) down 4kgs.
Massive meltdown accusing me of trying to 'get rid of her' and 'you're trying to kill me'. Wild mood swings.
Anyway so I'm down the beach atm (they're in melbs) and have fired off an email to ol' boy (who is very controlling of health related things) that I won't be back to help unless she gets a neurological assessment to see what exactly is going on as a lot of this is increasingly uncharacteristic. But for some reason he won't do it. It should have been done a while ago.
The problem is (as usual with that generation) she's expected to cook for him (when I'm not there). Did a huge batch of soup when they got back so she's all good, but she is a shadow of her former self in the kitchen these days and there's more risk of something going wrong (hot things etc.).
So I've unplugged the homephone and turned off the mobile, day 3 now. Never done this before. Usually there are calls daily. I'm effectively leaving her 'high and dry' which I've been accused of too many times to count when I'm not there.
There'll be a lot of resentment.
I am trying to force ol' boys hand in finally getting that assessment so we all have some sort of understanding what this decline (it's non-amnestic so a bit unusual, and not reversing) is and how to better manage it (which I think is fair). There may be a better way to manage this but just don't know without a neuro assessment.
Gentle suggestion hasn't worked, arguments haven't worked so I'm choosing complete absence no contact until he pulls his head out of his arse.
Whether I'm doing this correctly I have no idea.
They're going to see this as very spiteful, and it will create a lot of stress.
But I will have to make a decision in the next few whether to stick to my guns, or head back and resume normal programming.
Does he at least acknowledge something is different or is he insisting she's the same as always? That's such a difficult situation, the mood swings would be hard to see, especially being accused of the complete opposite
Second - take or leave this but when I have had all the shit happening it's been helpful to get some psychology appointment. Not hard to get a mental health plan and rebate from GP..and no harm in using them for simple triage of a sounding board with no skin in the game and advice as needed about (a) how to care for you in all this and (b) strategies to relate. I've done it more then once and it's helpful.
Hey sometimes it has to be done. Can't help someone who doesn't want it (your dad I mean), and sometimes going AWOL/no contact is the only way to force their hand, or at least give you a bit of peace.
I had to do it with my mum, when she developed schizophrenia and refused medication or therapy (apparently tarot cards and crystals are better)
Massive meltdown accusing me of trying to ‘get rid of her’ and ‘you’re trying to kill me’. Wild mood swings.
before you do or say anything explain exactly what you are doing and why in simple terms. Say it all in your father's presence. Directly ask his opinion and ask why he thinks and does that.
They’re going to see this as very spiteful,
this is just sad, I'm so sorry
You could challenge them publicly, ask them to write a list of all the "horrible" things you have done, because they can't
you've got to get your sibs in on this
even if they do nothing the least they can do is back you up
if she wasn't old I would say it's anorexia/eating disorder and an act of defiance and trying to control her environment and other people
Eeep. I think you are right about the potential trajectory. I also think that the assessment really really needs to be done. No 'correct' options here. Hang in there.
Anyone else understand the neuro-whatever urge to update your laptop bios randomly in the middle of a trip where you really need it then sit there freaking out that you are gonna brick it?
Yes it is. It's also partially that when I am "moving" I get a wave of motivation/lack of fear and I want to take on hard things. The spectrum between 'i got this' and 'i am chasing dopamine' and 'imma looking to BREAK something' is so steep it's not funny!
Interview went well I think, seems like a nice place to work and everyone was really friendly. Had my interview with the owner (small business), and I was a little awestruck; she's a badass boss lady and I'm here for it. I'll be grabbing food from the freezer, weighing it, and packing it 💪💪
Fingers crossed they pick meeee, I'd like some of that noice casual above $30 an hour pay, please and thank you 🙏
It might be a red wattlebird. They make a screech noise? Had some around my pace for a while, but they seem to have mived out and have been replaced by magpies. Much better.
Partners adhd appointment has been cancelled as the psychiatrist is sick (so I'll have to reschedule that for him), and my interview has been moved to this afternoon from this morning.
67 Comments
Alamutjones@aussie.zone · 8 pts · 12h
I’ve had some acknowledgement they got overexcited. We MAY be able to discuss the issue
imoldgreeeg@aussie.zone · 5 pts · 11h
Fingers crossed for you - hopefully they see what they are doing and how hurtful and stupid it is and you can get it sorted.
Thornburywitch@aussie.zone · 4 pts · 11h
Excellent news! Being on the same page will be very helpful going forward.
SpinMeAround@aussie.zone · 1 pts · 7h
Set your boundaries and hold them firm!
Bottom_racer@aussie.zone · 7 pts · 7h
ugh..
Parent issues here too atm.
Couple of days ago P's got back from an 8 day trip up north. As expected ol' girl didn't eat much. I fought pretty hard for them to take soup up (only thing substantial she can eat) which they reluctantly did. Chucked her on the scales (with a few arguments along the way) down 4kgs.
Massive meltdown accusing me of trying to 'get rid of her' and 'you're trying to kill me'. Wild mood swings.
Anyway so I'm down the beach atm (they're in melbs) and have fired off an email to ol' boy (who is very controlling of health related things) that I won't be back to help unless she gets a neurological assessment to see what exactly is going on as a lot of this is increasingly uncharacteristic. But for some reason he won't do it. It should have been done a while ago.
The problem is (as usual with that generation) she's expected to cook for him (when I'm not there). Did a huge batch of soup when they got back so she's all good, but she is a shadow of her former self in the kitchen these days and there's more risk of something going wrong (hot things etc.).
So I've unplugged the homephone and turned off the mobile, day 3 now. Never done this before. Usually there are calls daily. I'm effectively leaving her 'high and dry' which I've been accused of too many times to count when I'm not there.
There'll be a lot of resentment.
I am trying to force ol' boys hand in finally getting that assessment so we all have some sort of understanding what this decline (it's non-amnestic so a bit unusual, and not reversing) is and how to better manage it (which I think is fair). There may be a better way to manage this but just don't know without a neuro assessment.
Gentle suggestion hasn't worked, arguments haven't worked so I'm choosing complete absence no contact until he pulls his head out of his arse.
Whether I'm doing this correctly I have no idea.
They're going to see this as very spiteful, and it will create a lot of stress.
But I will have to make a decision in the next few whether to stick to my guns, or head back and resume normal programming.
This might get ugleee 🙃
SpinMeAround@aussie.zone · 4 pts · 6h
Does he at least acknowledge something is different or is he insisting she's the same as always? That's such a difficult situation, the mood swings would be hard to see, especially being accused of the complete opposite
imoldgreeeg@aussie.zone · 4 pts · 2h
First. Hugs.
Second - take or leave this but when I have had all the shit happening it's been helpful to get some psychology appointment. Not hard to get a mental health plan and rebate from GP..and no harm in using them for simple triage of a sounding board with no skin in the game and advice as needed about (a) how to care for you in all this and (b) strategies to relate. I've done it more then once and it's helpful.
Also we are here for you too
Pilk@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 7h
What a stubborn old coot. Gotta be one of the worst qualities to develop in later life (looking at you, mother). May we all break the cycle.
Bottom_racer@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 6h
Yep, both are.
Still don't know if I'm doing the right thing though as it is adding risk. But getting that assessment could reduce it.
I've failed in finding middle ground and this a:
StudChud@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 6h
Hey sometimes it has to be done. Can't help someone who doesn't want it (your dad I mean), and sometimes going AWOL/no contact is the only way to force their hand, or at least give you a bit of peace.
I had to do it with my mum, when she developed schizophrenia and refused medication or therapy (apparently tarot cards and crystals are better)
CadMunt@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 6h
My father refused any flex on his stubbornness, we haven't spoken in five years.
CEOofmyhouse56@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 7h
I'm sorry you're stuck in the middle. That's a shitty position to be in. 🫂❤️
Seagoon_@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 6h
before you do or say anything explain exactly what you are doing and why in simple terms. Say it all in your father's presence. Directly ask his opinion and ask why he thinks and does that.
this is just sad, I'm so sorry
You could challenge them publicly, ask them to write a list of all the "horrible" things you have done, because they can't
you've got to get your sibs in on this
even if they do nothing the least they can do is back you up
if she wasn't old I would say it's anorexia/eating disorder and an act of defiance and trying to control her environment and other people
Thornburywitch@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 7h
Eeep. I think you are right about the potential trajectory. I also think that the assessment really really needs to be done. No 'correct' options here. Hang in there.
Alamutjones@aussie.zone · 1 pts · 5h
You've done everything you can to keep her safe, but if you have to withdraw for your own sake then you're right to do so
imoldgreeeg@aussie.zone · 6 pts · 11h
Anyone else understand the neuro-whatever urge to update your laptop bios randomly in the middle of a trip where you really need it then sit there freaking out that you are gonna brick it?
EDIT: it worked! This time...
Seagoon_@aussie.zone · 0 pts · 4h
It's self sabotage
imoldgreeeg@aussie.zone · 1 pts · 2h
Yes it is. It's also partially that when I am "moving" I get a wave of motivation/lack of fear and I want to take on hard things. The spectrum between 'i got this' and 'i am chasing dopamine' and 'imma looking to BREAK something' is so steep it's not funny!
But it worked! Dopamine wins the day 😁
StudChud@aussie.zone · 5 pts · 4h
Interview went well I think, seems like a nice place to work and everyone was really friendly. Had my interview with the owner (small business), and I was a little awestruck; she's a badass boss lady and I'm here for it. I'll be grabbing food from the freezer, weighing it, and packing it 💪💪
Fingers crossed they pick meeee, I'd like some of that noice casual above $30 an hour pay, please and thank you 🙏
May the Universe take a little pity on me :3
TheWitchofThornbury2@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 56m
Sending YASSSS vibes.
StudChud@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 30m
IT WORKED YOU ARE A WITCH!!
imoldgreeeg@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 2h
🤞🏻🤞🏻
Seagoon_@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 4h
🙏
also, working in the food industry you may get to take some home 🤞
CEOofmyhouse56@aussie.zone · 1 pts · 4h
I wish you the best 🤞
TheWitchofThornbury2@aussie.zone · 5 pts · 13h
As our beloved Chef may still be unwell today, please help yourself. There's an honesty jar at the end to fund our Chef's recovery.
Beep Beep 🚚
🍏🍎🍐🍊🍋🍈🫐🍓🍇🍉🍌🍒🍑🥭🍍🥥🥦🥑🫛🍆🍅🥝🥬🥒🌽🥕🥐🍠🫚🥔🧅🥯🍞🥖🥨🧀🧇🥞🧈🍳🥚🥓🥩🍗🍖🫓🍕🍟🍔🌭🥙🧆🌮🌯🥗🍲🍜🍝🥘🍛🍣🍱🥟🦪🍥🍘🍚🍙🐠🍤🪼🦀🐙 🍗🥮🍢🍡🍧🍰🧁🥧🍦🍨🎂🍮🍭🍬🍫🥜🌰🍪🍿🍯🥛☕️🍵🍺🍶🥤🧋🧃🥂🍷🥃🍸🍹🧉🔋
🏺
bacon@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 12h
I am on the mend. We are grateful.
TheWitchofThornbury2@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 12h
You rest up and recover fully, you hear me?
bacon@aussie.zone · 1 pts · 12h
🫡🛌
Force_majeure1234@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 13h
🐼 🦏 🦇 🦥 🔥
💰
TheWitchofThornbury2@aussie.zone · 4 pts · 12h
☕⚰
bacon@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 12h
🙏
Alamutjones@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 12h
🥯🔥🧈🍓🫖
💵💵💵
bacon@aussie.zone · 1 pts · 5h
🙏
Seagoon_@aussie.zone · 4 pts · 8h
This picture just ...aw
Pilk@aussie.zone · 4 pts · 7h
Seagoon_@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 7h
same picture
StudChud@aussie.zone · 4 pts · 30m
YAAASSSSSSS I GOT IT I GOT THE JOB I INTERVIEWED FOR THIS AFTERNOON
I start next week!!!!!!!!!!!
CEOofmyhouse56@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 21m
Onya Queen 👑
StudChud@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 20m
Catfish@aussie.zone · 1 pts · 23m
Fucking brill!
StudChud@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 20m
I'm fucking ecstatic! Gosh the boss lady must've liked me, even with my 0 experience in pick packing/warehouse!
Holy shit yeahhhhhhh! It's all coming up Spud now bby 💅✨
Seagoon_@aussie.zone · 1 pts · 7m
yay 🫂🥰🥰🥰
Catfish@aussie.zone · 4 pts · 14h
Many, many bird noises. Great sign of biodiversity. But that one that sounds like a cartoon donkey can fuck right off.
SituationCake@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 11h
It might be a red wattlebird. They make a screech noise? Had some around my pace for a while, but they seem to have mived out and have been replaced by magpies. Much better.
Catfish@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 9h
Don't know. Only hear them when it's too dark to really look. It's a rapid eeee-ooh. Lots of magpie around, and crow to wish good 'morrow.
Thornburywitch@aussie.zone · 1 pts · 6h
Isn't there a bird call app - takes a sound clip and then identifies it. I can't recall the name of the app offhand.
imoldgreeeg@aussie.zone · 1 pts · 1h
Merlin. It rocks
tombruzzo@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 1h
We Built This City came on in the car yesterday. I can't listen to this song now without thinking of the cows. I've only seen the video a few times
Alamutjones@aussie.zone · 4 pts · 1h
I have rewarded myself for a challenging day with iced-vovo gelato.
I'm going to turn my brain off
Seagoon_@aussie.zone · 1 pts · 49m
sounds delicious 🙂
Seagoon_@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 1h
Need some Fat Boy Slim Kittens to wash your brains https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hqU11H9_Wqo
Catfish@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 2h
... and himself will be needing a new job. Again.
Seagoon_@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 2h
😐
It's not easy to get jobs. I wish him luck.
Catfish@aussie.zone · 4 pts · 1h
Appreciated. A job itself usually isn't the problem, it's a not shit one.
StudChud@aussie.zone · 1 pts · 19m
Sending him my job luck!!!!
Seagoon_@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 1h
hail
StudChud@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 11h
Partners adhd appointment has been cancelled as the psychiatrist is sick (so I'll have to reschedule that for him), and my interview has been moved to this afternoon from this morning.
This calls for another coffee and ciggie
SaneMartigan@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 12h
Hey l3ntil, come on in the water is fine.
StudChud@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 11h
L3NTIL JOIN US BECOME ONE WITH THE FEDIVERSE
🙌
SpinMeAround@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 10h
Join us, l3ntil, join ussssss.
Seagoon_@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 8h
storm front just hit
Seagoon_@aussie.zone · 1 pts · 2h
cold ...🥶
CEOofmyhouse56@aussie.zone · 1 pts · 9h
I had a small sample of cupcake last night......and I'm feeling realllllllly chill this morning.
SpinMeAround@aussie.zone · 1 pts · 7h
Someone left lollies on my desk this morning and I wished they were like your cupcakes!
CEOofmyhouse56@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 7h
I've learnt my lesson not to sample things on a school night.
CadMunt@aussie.zone · 2 pts · 6h
Or at least not too late, the grey-over is for real.
CEOofmyhouse56@aussie.zone · 1 pts · 5h
Yeah nah I'm more than happy to wait for the weekend.