im sad to say my battle wouldnt be made any easier by $40. i already have $40 and it isnt helping. having a 30 hour a week job i can afford to live on, however... 40 plus commute is too fucking much. no time or motivation for any of the shit i really want and need to do.
I just need my wife and family to stop being transphobic, that would end my problem right now and I would come out and transition. I've got everything else.
How worthwhile is it to cling to their approval when it directly interferes with your happiness? I dunno, I won't say what's the right or wrong move, but it's always sad to hear about the people who don't feel like they're allowed to be themselves because of others. You're 1,000% allowed to embrace it, but only you can really decide if it's worth the costs.
It is, I have a young child who would be in the middle of any fighting, and whom I would potentially lose access to. I could peacefully come out and split custody if this wasn't a problem.
Who are the "and family"? The wife is clearly already mentally considering herself your ex-wife, so that is less relevant. But are the other transphobes around you your children or siblings or what?
Ha jokes on you I don't know any trans women IRL and I'm monetarily broke. But I do have a wealth of other things. For example Redneck insanity/ depression, Historia obscura I will ramble about chalcolithic steppe peoples, and lore namely Fallout, Elder Scolls, Warhammer 40k, Warhammer fantasy, and old Star Wars.
You know now that you mention it, the internet makes me believe that there's a vastly larger amount of trans women than men, but I too only know trans men directly. I do wonder what the proportion is, if it matches whatever the ratio of men to women is. I also wonder what percentages are when you consider enby people and what those numbers do to the overall percentages.
Obviously the numbers are skewed by people who can't be open about for one reason or another, but still curious either way.
This is a very common anecdotal phenomenon. It might have something to do with transfems going mostly stealth in public so you never know they're there, preferring to socialize online more than transmascs, transmascs being more likely to get involved with in-person activities, ect. Regardless, you aren't the only one who's noticed this
It's especially weird for me since ive known two seperate trans men but have yet to meet a trans woman that I'm aware of, but then again I'm an oblivious redneck to the point where I'm pretty sure the only reason I haven't died to environmental hazards is because I'm durable and have good enough instincts to compensate. Also in my experience Trans men tend to be quite extroverted, so maybe there's something psychological perhaps down to how culture tends to be more accepting of masculinity within afab versus feminity within amab resulting in trans women being more introverted and insular overall.
Apparently they are not made, but just "are". And their contents are not definite either, but rather they write themselves as needed when being observed? Basically a physical manifestation of fate, I guess. I've heard people argue that they are blueprints for existence that only manifest as scrolls so that physical beings can perceive them.
it's not my herb garden it's my spice garden. i grow peppers and herbs and apparently subshrubs (i tried to say that twice fast and pulled a brain muscle just a warning) in it.
::: spoiler my herb garden has Herbie (short for Herbert), her twin sister Reginald, and their nieces Churro and Estelle (my wife insisted on naming one you'll never guess which).
it was Reginald
:::
I think it's just different types of humour not hitting is all.
Money under the strap part was her silly counter offer to me offering a $40 electronic transfer and the loonies ($1 coins) was my response because there's no way I'd use American money.
The loonies I get but why the strap thing, did you actually talk to her? There's this bad stereotype that all trans women are sex workers so that's why it feels weird
Tbh I found it funny because while it is a harmful stereotype, it's also a career we've often been pushed into, and it's still a bold stance in many places for someone who'd admit to paying a cis stripper to admit to paying a trans one.
This is why I love lemmy community so much more than reddit. If you think you are reading something transphobic you can just go "must be a misunderstanding."
44 Comments
applebusch@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 45 pts · 2d
im sad to say my battle wouldnt be made any easier by $40. i already have $40 and it isnt helping. having a 30 hour a week job i can afford to live on, however... 40 plus commute is too fucking much. no time or motivation for any of the shit i really want and need to do.
tacosanonymous@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 22 pts · 2d
Right but if a whole bunch of people sent $40, were going to see some progress.
SarahValentine@pawb.social · 12 pts · 2d
I'll take her $40!
manuallybreathing@lemmy.ml · 4 pts · 2d
I lost my job in 2021 and now work 8 hours a week washing dishes, it sucks but it's better than soul crushing office work
dylanmorgan@slrpnk.net · 21 pts · 2d
I tip the trans baristas at my local coffee shop extra, does that count?
TheTechnician27@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 2d
For $5 a month – just pennies a day...
bloomnolia@piefed.social · 13 pts · 1d
I just need my wife and family to stop being transphobic, that would end my problem right now and I would come out and transition. I've got everything else.
AHemlocksLie@lemmy.zip · 6 pts · 1d
How worthwhile is it to cling to their approval when it directly interferes with your happiness? I dunno, I won't say what's the right or wrong move, but it's always sad to hear about the people who don't feel like they're allowed to be themselves because of others. You're 1,000% allowed to embrace it, but only you can really decide if it's worth the costs.
bloomnolia@piefed.social · 2 pts · 1d
It is, I have a young child who would be in the middle of any fighting, and whom I would potentially lose access to. I could peacefully come out and split custody if this wasn't a problem.
captainlezbian@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1d
That's brutal, I'm sorry you're there. I will say that I've never met someone who regretted divorcing to transition
Lehmuusa@nord.pub · 3 pts · 1d
Who are the "and family"? The wife is clearly already mentally considering herself your ex-wife, so that is less relevant. But are the other transphobes around you your children or siblings or what?
bloomnolia@piefed.social · 3 pts · 1d
Whole family, both of our sides, excluding my child who hasn't formed an opinion on it yet
atopi@piefed.blahaj.zone · 11 pts · 1d
I would prefer estrogen or plushies or women clothing or bread
TotallynotJessica@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 23 pts · 1d
HerbGrower@slrpnk.net · 5 pts · 1d
Bread is carbs, potato is also carbs. Best I can offer is all you can eat roast potatoes with rosemary and sage salt.
homura1650@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1d
Sold!
vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works · 10 pts · 1d
Ha jokes on you I don't know any trans women IRL and I'm monetarily broke. But I do have a wealth of other things. For example Redneck insanity/ depression, Historia obscura I will ramble about chalcolithic steppe peoples, and lore namely Fallout, Elder Scolls, Warhammer 40k, Warhammer fantasy, and old Star Wars.
Manalith@midwest.social · 5 pts · 1d
You know now that you mention it, the internet makes me believe that there's a vastly larger amount of trans women than men, but I too only know trans men directly. I do wonder what the proportion is, if it matches whatever the ratio of men to women is. I also wonder what percentages are when you consider enby people and what those numbers do to the overall percentages.
Obviously the numbers are skewed by people who can't be open about for one reason or another, but still curious either way.
TotallynotJessica@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 4 pts · 1d
This is a very common anecdotal phenomenon. It might have something to do with transfems going mostly stealth in public so you never know they're there, preferring to socialize online more than transmascs, transmascs being more likely to get involved with in-person activities, ect. Regardless, you aren't the only one who's noticed this
vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 1d
It's especially weird for me since ive known two seperate trans men but have yet to meet a trans woman that I'm aware of, but then again I'm an oblivious redneck to the point where I'm pretty sure the only reason I haven't died to environmental hazards is because I'm durable and have good enough instincts to compensate. Also in my experience Trans men tend to be quite extroverted, so maybe there's something psychological perhaps down to how culture tends to be more accepting of masculinity within afab versus feminity within amab resulting in trans women being more introverted and insular overall.
Squirrelanna@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 5 pts · 1d
What exactly is an elder scroll? Who made them in the lore?
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1d
we're going to find out in one of these games and it's going to be todd's giant floating head
TotallynotJessica@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 2 pts · 1d
The Toddhead
TheOakTree@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 1d
Apparently they are not made, but just "are". And their contents are not definite either, but rather they write themselves as needed when being observed? Basically a physical manifestation of fate, I guess. I've heard people argue that they are blueprints for existence that only manifest as scrolls so that physical beings can perceive them.
In other words, spacetime macguffin.
Jankatarch@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 2d
(Alternatively don't watch harry potter for a bit)
WitchKnight@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 17 pts · 2d
Or ever
Funkt4st1c@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 1d
Alternatively never mention it ever again, including in protest. Simply let it fade into nonexistence
HerbGrower@slrpnk.net · 9 pts · 1d
Lord of the rings is better anyway.
TotallynotJessica@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 8 pts · 1d
I will never be able to enjoy that series again, even when that monster is long dead
southsamurai@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 2d
But would she accept about tree fitty?
BevsDad@lemmy.ca · 6 pts · 2d
I was told she'd only accept 1$ bills in the strap of her underwear but all I have is loonies....
TotallynotJessica@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 11 pts · 1d
BevsDad@lemmy.ca · 16 pts · 1d
HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1d
it's not my herb garden it's my spice garden. i grow peppers and herbs and apparently subshrubs (i tried to say that twice fast and pulled a brain muscle just a warning) in it.
::: spoiler my herb garden has Herbie (short for Herbert), her twin sister Reginald, and their nieces Churro and Estelle (my wife insisted on naming one you'll never guess which). it was Reginald
:::
KernelTale@programming.dev · 6 pts · 1d
Can I get source of the image? It looks like a fun webtoon to read.
Edit: please
TotallynotJessica@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 3 pts · 1d
It's from a yuri manhua called My Dearest Nemesis
Cass@piefed.blahaj.zone · 4 pts · 1d
Surely I'm reading this wrong, because this sounds bizarrely misogynistic and transphobic to me
BevsDad@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 1d
I think it's just different types of humour not hitting is all. Money under the strap part was her silly counter offer to me offering a $40 electronic transfer and the loonies ($1 coins) was my response because there's no way I'd use American money.
Cass@piefed.blahaj.zone · 1 pts · 1d
The loonies I get but why the strap thing, did you actually talk to her? There's this bad stereotype that all trans women are sex workers so that's why it feels weird
BevsDad@lemmy.ca · 21 pts · 1d
I did talk to her yes. That was the response I got after sending her this post.
I found it funny because of how absurd it was so I posted the comment.
I definitely didn't mean to further a bad stereotype, my apologies!
captainlezbian@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1d
Tbh I found it funny because while it is a harmful stereotype, it's also a career we've often been pushed into, and it's still a bold stance in many places for someone who'd admit to paying a cis stripper to admit to paying a trans one.
Cass@piefed.blahaj.zone · 3 pts · 1d
Oh wow, sorry if I came off too strongly!
Somehow loonies sound more uncomfortable than dollars here, hah
BevsDad@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 1d
No worries at all! Can't fault someone for defending the homies as their first instinct ❤️
Jankatarch@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1d
This is why I love lemmy community so much more than reddit. If you think you are reading something transphobic you can just go "must be a misunderstanding."