I know they are talking about a different kind of dating, but my husband and I go on Costco dates all the time. It’s kind of romantic. We eat hotdogs and people watch, then go home and fuck.
I was wondering the insane number of hotdogs or how erotically you ate them until I remembered "people watching" is a term. (Or do you lady and tramp it with the dogs?)
'bro just find the 1/1000 women that want a courthouse marriage, i did! it's so easy!'
and if you can't find her because you're part of the 999/1000 guys, just don't marry i guess?
personally I've never date a woman who didn't want a big fancy wedding, sounds nice to meet such a lady, but for most guys they won't ever have the option of marrying that person, but they will have the option of marrying someone who wants the big fancy wedding.
most of my friends had small cheap marriages in local venues.
my two siblings did not. they had very expensive destination weddings. I didn't even go to my brothers because I couldn't afford to spend $5,000 to go to a wedding for 3 days and he has never forgiven me for it. I was 23 and made 20K a year... lol
when i date all i meet is women who think 50K is a minimum spend on a wedding. and they are clear the point is to impress other people and make them jealous, especially the people who aren't invited like their rival from high school or something.
My average first date is a couple of drinks and an appetizer, and costs about $50. maybe 1/5 dates i have she offers to split the bill and I accept.
but most of my 2nd/3rd dates tell me I'm a cheap asshole, even if I do take them out to a nice dinner that's $300 or so. I am told the minimum spend on a 'serious date' is closer to $1000+, basically $300 bottle of wine, $300+ food x2, and 30%+ tip to show I am 'generous'.
people's expectations and what's economically realistic are very very different, and it makes a lot of folks deeply unhappy. They'd be a lot happier if their expectations were aligned with financial reality, but you can't say this to them.
last time I spend under $200 on a 'nice' date and she thought it was really nice was probably 2015. but back then my first dates cost me like $15 because it was usually like a movie ticket and a coffee and everything like that cost 2-6 bucks.
Everyone asks this. No. I date frumpy women who are 35+. Who are all looking for a 1950s style relationship, even with all their education, progressive values, etc. They still feel entitled to being stay at home wives. Most of them don't want kids, they want the 'option' of not working though, but they won't take a lifestyle-decline, which means you need to make twice or more what they do, so they can maintain their lifestyle while they don't work.
It's what the 'market' has normalized thanks to social media. I make like 50% above median family income in my city... but I am considered and economic 'failure', because the 'minimum' expectation is like 3-4x median income. And people will argue with about it. Because the 'bare minimum' is an upper middle class luxury lifestyle... and if you can't provide that why are you even tying to date? (drive luxury car, live in luxury housing, go on multiple international trips per year, designer clothes, designer pets, etc) Most don't want kids because then they can't have all these 'nice things' they want so desperately.
Nobody thinks a modest middle-class life is 'worthwhile' anymore. At least where I live. I love my middle-class modest life, but I also grew up poor so it feels rich as hell to me. I have never wanted 'nice things', so I can't relate to them. i have no interest in luxury cars, vacations, or any of that. I'm happy driving my Honda up to the mountains and staying in a B&B for 2 days and going hiking with my rescue dog.
Like I said the last time I met someone who was more 'modest' it was 2015... before social media warped everyone's minds.
every modest outdoorsy lady I meet... is already married. I and since I do a ton of outdoor stuff, I meet them. But none of them are ever single. I have never in my life hate a date through hobby, volunteer, or activity group thing. The women I meet there are almost exclusively married. But I go on dating apps and I get tons of interest from single women doctors, lawyers, etc, who are aspirational gold-diggers, even though I have no gold. And she will lament on the first or second date how 'poor' she is, and how she was 'forced' to be successful when what she 'really deserves is to be taken care of', and when I ask what that looks like she is sitting at home all day eating bon bons and planning $20K trips to Europe, Asia, etc.
You can lecture me all you want. internet people always do, just world fallacy and all that. but in my adult dating experience these 'nice modest women who want to get married in a courthouse and would like a date at costco' don't exist in any abundance, and most that do, are already married. all my friends got married in their early/mid 20s. they haven't been single for over 20 years at this point. but the 'single woman who is 30+ who thinks she deserves a guy who makes 500K a year and won't settle for less' exist in abundance. And they are miserable because the have everything anyone could ever want and then some and it's 'not enough' for them... and no relationship (or amount of money) will ever fix that.
The small print of the waiver you have to sign at the beginning of the food challenge says that finishing the challenge legally constitutes marriage in the eyes of the state.
Is this real? I've never been on a date and so obvs don't know what a date entails, but how tf do you spend so much money on a date? You buying her a PS5 or sumn? I'm being serious if I spend triple digits I'm either buying groceries or splurging on hobbies.
If you go to a fancy enough restaurant and pay for both people, it's quite possible to spend three digits. And for some people that's fine.
But if you can't afford that, you shouldn't do it and if someone expects it of you, fuck that person. Find you someone who's happy just to spend time with you regardless of how much money you spend, if any. There are people out there to whom the effort you put in to spend time together matters more than any attempts to impress them (particularly with money).
And even if you can easily afford it, don't do it on a first or even second date. You really want to get to know a person before they get any hint that you're doing well. It's very easy to run into golddiggers otherwise (and that doesn't really depend on gender either - tons of male golddiggers out there too).
27 Comments
ickplant@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 4d
I know they are talking about a different kind of dating, but my husband and I go on Costco dates all the time. It’s kind of romantic. We eat hotdogs and people watch, then go home and fuck.
baines@lemmy.cafe · 3 pts · 4d
that sounds like a good time
ickplant@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 4d
All for $3! Not counting the gas, but it’s just a 10-min drive for us.
SpikedIguana@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 4d
I was wondering the insane number of hotdogs or how erotically you ate them until I remembered "people watching" is a term. (Or do you lady and tramp it with the dogs?)
ickplant@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 4d
You made both me and my husband actually laugh out loud with this comment.
We just eat hot dogs like regular people, butt first.
SkyezOpen@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 4d
Unironically my first official date with my wife was a Costco trip.
nightofmichelinstars@sopuli.xyz · 12 pts · 5d
Wait till he finds out how much the average wedding is.
baines@lemmy.cafe · 4 pts · 5d
100 bucks at the courthouse with the right woman
choose better
nehal3m@lemmy.zip · 5 pts · 4d
I still joke the limousine we took to city hall was longer than my buddy’s. It was a city bus.
WoodYouLookAtThat@lemmy.today · 3 pts · 4d
We went this route, but we did organize a kind of reception dinner afterwards at a local restaurant
Guests insisted on paying for it, but it was under $1k easily
It was great. We did also have a photographer before, during, and after we were wed. We wouldn't change a thing.
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 4d
'bro just find the 1/1000 women that want a courthouse marriage, i did! it's so easy!'
and if you can't find her because you're part of the 999/1000 guys, just don't marry i guess?
personally I've never date a woman who didn't want a big fancy wedding, sounds nice to meet such a lady, but for most guys they won't ever have the option of marrying that person, but they will have the option of marrying someone who wants the big fancy wedding.
baines@lemmy.cafe · 5 pts · 4d
memes aside everyone has to decide for themselves what is acceptable and mine was not at a courthouse
full disclosure l, i think mine was under 5k and most of that was the food which i very much enjoyed
that said better to not get married than to do so with a woman that expects extravagance outside your means
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 4d
most of my friends had small cheap marriages in local venues.
my two siblings did not. they had very expensive destination weddings. I didn't even go to my brothers because I couldn't afford to spend $5,000 to go to a wedding for 3 days and he has never forgiven me for it. I was 23 and made 20K a year... lol
when i date all i meet is women who think 50K is a minimum spend on a wedding. and they are clear the point is to impress other people and make them jealous, especially the people who aren't invited like their rival from high school or something.
jaybone@lemmy.zip · 4 pts · 5d
Can you buy dresses at Costco now?
bigboismith@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 5d
I thought about date the plant and was very confused
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 4d
My average first date is a couple of drinks and an appetizer, and costs about $50. maybe 1/5 dates i have she offers to split the bill and I accept.
but most of my 2nd/3rd dates tell me I'm a cheap asshole, even if I do take them out to a nice dinner that's $300 or so. I am told the minimum spend on a 'serious date' is closer to $1000+, basically $300 bottle of wine, $300+ food x2, and 30%+ tip to show I am 'generous'.
people's expectations and what's economically realistic are very very different, and it makes a lot of folks deeply unhappy. They'd be a lot happier if their expectations were aligned with financial reality, but you can't say this to them.
last time I spend under $200 on a 'nice' date and she thought it was really nice was probably 2015. but back then my first dates cost me like $15 because it was usually like a movie ticket and a coffee and everything like that cost 2-6 bucks.
x00z@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 4d
Why even spent $50 on a date?
Make some sandwiches at home and bring them.
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 3d
because where i live you'd be considered a weird creepy piece of shit person if you did that.
spending $50 on a date for a couple of drinks is already considered 'cheap and lazy'.
baines@lemmy.cafe · 2 pts · 4d
that first paragraph seems pretty normal, hell wife and i spent 70 with tip at a chicken place last week
the rest though, you’re getting played and it sounds like you know it
are you rich and chasing 10s for fun? cause if you are seriously looking for a life partner it sounds like you need to look somewhere else
TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 4d
Everyone asks this. No. I date frumpy women who are 35+. Who are all looking for a 1950s style relationship, even with all their education, progressive values, etc. They still feel entitled to being stay at home wives. Most of them don't want kids, they want the 'option' of not working though, but they won't take a lifestyle-decline, which means you need to make twice or more what they do, so they can maintain their lifestyle while they don't work.
It's what the 'market' has normalized thanks to social media. I make like 50% above median family income in my city... but I am considered and economic 'failure', because the 'minimum' expectation is like 3-4x median income. And people will argue with about it. Because the 'bare minimum' is an upper middle class luxury lifestyle... and if you can't provide that why are you even tying to date? (drive luxury car, live in luxury housing, go on multiple international trips per year, designer clothes, designer pets, etc) Most don't want kids because then they can't have all these 'nice things' they want so desperately.
Nobody thinks a modest middle-class life is 'worthwhile' anymore. At least where I live. I love my middle-class modest life, but I also grew up poor so it feels rich as hell to me. I have never wanted 'nice things', so I can't relate to them. i have no interest in luxury cars, vacations, or any of that. I'm happy driving my Honda up to the mountains and staying in a B&B for 2 days and going hiking with my rescue dog.
Like I said the last time I met someone who was more 'modest' it was 2015... before social media warped everyone's minds.
every modest outdoorsy lady I meet... is already married. I and since I do a ton of outdoor stuff, I meet them. But none of them are ever single. I have never in my life hate a date through hobby, volunteer, or activity group thing. The women I meet there are almost exclusively married. But I go on dating apps and I get tons of interest from single women doctors, lawyers, etc, who are aspirational gold-diggers, even though I have no gold. And she will lament on the first or second date how 'poor' she is, and how she was 'forced' to be successful when what she 'really deserves is to be taken care of', and when I ask what that looks like she is sitting at home all day eating bon bons and planning $20K trips to Europe, Asia, etc.
You can lecture me all you want. internet people always do, just world fallacy and all that. but in my adult dating experience these 'nice modest women who want to get married in a courthouse and would like a date at costco' don't exist in any abundance, and most that do, are already married. all my friends got married in their early/mid 20s. they haven't been single for over 20 years at this point. but the 'single woman who is 30+ who thinks she deserves a guy who makes 500K a year and won't settle for less' exist in abundance. And they are miserable because the have everything anyone could ever want and then some and it's 'not enough' for them... and no relationship (or amount of money) will ever fix that.
24_at_the_withers@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 4d
Yikes, that's terrifying. Thanks for sharing.
TootSweet@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 5d
The small print of the waiver you have to sign at the beginning of the food challenge says that finishing the challenge legally constitutes marriage in the eyes of the state.
ThunderComplex@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 4d
Is this real? I've never been on a date and so obvs don't know what a date entails, but how tf do you spend so much money on a date? You buying her a PS5 or sumn? I'm being serious if I spend triple digits I'm either buying groceries or splurging on hobbies.
boonhet@lemmy.zip · 5 pts · 4d
If you go to a fancy enough restaurant and pay for both people, it's quite possible to spend three digits. And for some people that's fine.
But if you can't afford that, you shouldn't do it and if someone expects it of you, fuck that person. Find you someone who's happy just to spend time with you regardless of how much money you spend, if any. There are people out there to whom the effort you put in to spend time together matters more than any attempts to impress them (particularly with money).
And even if you can easily afford it, don't do it on a first or even second date. You really want to get to know a person before they get any hint that you're doing well. It's very easy to run into golddiggers otherwise (and that doesn't really depend on gender either - tons of male golddiggers out there too).
ThunderComplex@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 3d
zamn. altho that tracks since I've also never been to a restaurant but as a occasional takeout orderer ya food prices are a bitch.
finallymadeanaccount@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 4d
Seems cheaper to take her to Costco!
blackberry28@sh.itjust.works · -1 pts · 4d
No wonder there are women abusing dating apps just to get a free meal lol