I've really fantasized about being able to view my stats after I die. I come back to word counts pretty often. Or how many "near misses" I've had, if any I suppose.
Holy shit I thought I was the only one. I've thought about this for decades! I think it would be so cool to have access to and comprehension of an omniscient record of my life after I die.
How many liters of urine did I expel? How many birds have I seen? What is my most used word? How many miles have I traveled? The data is endless!
Well, it became internet history years ago. So... unless you want to spend your one chance to change history on the removal of the cum box story, I don't see any other way. Haha
Disk, RAM, CPU and GPU usage stats compared to other people. I suppose a lot of them are built like proper servers with their good memory while I can't remember jack shit, like information from RAM never get stored.
Number of joints would be a depressing number I fear. Amount spent on weed would probably hurt more, but put that next to amount spent on alcohol and I'd probably feel ok about it.
46 Comments
Hobart_the_GoKart@lemm.ee · 33 pts · 2y
I've really fantasized about being able to view my stats after I die. I come back to word counts pretty often. Or how many "near misses" I've had, if any I suppose.
DrMango@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 2y
Holy shit I thought I was the only one. I've thought about this for decades! I think it would be so cool to have access to and comprehension of an omniscient record of my life after I die.
How many liters of urine did I expel? How many birds have I seen? What is my most used word? How many miles have I traveled? The data is endless!
HonoraryMancunian@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y
The
gothic_lemons@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 2y
Nah pretty sure my would be uuummmm
Hobart_the_GoKart@lemm.ee · 3 pts · 2y
Yes yes yes! All these trivial things that I will look up and say "Neat!". My heaven is pretty simple haha
pdxfed@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y
potterpockets@sh.itjust.works · 26 pts · 2y
Number of times people have masturbated to me.
(Spoiler: it’s zero)
GentlemanLoser@ttrpg.network · 24 pts · 2y
Not anymore 🤤
victorz@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 2y
Me next?
KammicRelief@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y
but how do you know?!?
gamermanh@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 22 pts · 2y
How much splooge I've nutted in whatever the funniest whole unit could be
ADHDefy@kbin.social · 12 pts · 2y
My suggestions for units of measurements, in no specific order:
A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 2y
You've nutted 397,405 times the total earth population last year. *
measured as per sperm, not by volume or weightTehBamski@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 2y
Are you by any chance the cum box dude?
ADHDefy@kbin.social · 4 pts · 2y
Oh dear, I was hoping that one would die with reddit.
TehBamski@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y
Well, it became internet history years ago. So... unless you want to spend your one chance to change history on the removal of the cum box story, I don't see any other way. Haha
BrianTheeBiscuiteer@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y
I'm thinking teaspoons.
andrew_bidlaw@sh.itjust.works · 13 pts · 2y
Disk, RAM, CPU and GPU usage stats compared to other people. I suppose a lot of them are built like proper servers with their good memory while I can't remember jack shit, like information from RAM never get stored.
HubertManne@kbin.social · 13 pts · 2y
my massive massive penis length. But not how female I am. or how much of a liar I am.
ADHDefy@kbin.social · 7 pts · 2y
I believe that someday scientists will develop a tool that will be able to accurately measure your gargantuan penis, once we have the technology.
HubertManne@kbin.social · 6 pts · 2y
I look forward to breaking such a tool with my tool.
GONADS125@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y
Big dicks come with big dick problems.
Rocky60@lemm.ee · 13 pts · 2y
How many times I’ve gotten out of a comfortable sitting position to let my dog in
cheese_greater@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y
In Soviet Russia, Bear-that-ate-dog lets YOU in!
Meowoem@sh.itjust.works · 11 pts · 2y
Frequency of nice things said about me per year, especially as a ratio of good to bad.
I'd be fascinated to know what the peek's correspond to
Squirrel@thelemmy.club · 10 pts · 2y
If I made bricks out of all the poop I ever pooped out, and built a 6 ft high wall out of the bricks, how long could I make that wall?
cheese_greater@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y
Psssh, such a
Squirrelanswer🐿️noseatbelt@lemmy.ca · 9 pts · 2y
How many times I've been right when my husband and I have differing recollections of something.
AmosBurton@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 2y
TehBamski@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 2y
I would love to know how many websites I've visited since I began using the internet.
GONADS125@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 2y
I am in the 1% of humans worldwide who can lick their own elbows.
Please, no autographs..
Edit: I'm dumb and misread the question. I read it like: "What statistic about yourself do you desire the world to know about?"
AverageGoob@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 2y
Give me my brains S.M.A.R.T stats. I feel something has been rattling up there so feel it's about time to be replaced.
theodewere@kbin.social · 7 pts · 2y
total number of mouse clicks
TehBamski@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y
Are you a FPS gamer?
A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 2y
I just want to know why the only women willing to give me the time of day are mentally unstable abusers.
also, maybe, how long of a wall 3 foot tall and 6 inches thick could have been made from my total bowel movements.
balderdash9@lemmy.zip · 7 pts · 2y
Total hours spent listening to music. And where I am on the leaderboard lol
Bebo@literature.cafe · 6 pts · 2y
Details of what all books I've read. Impossible to remember details
Ejh3k@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y
How many French fries I've eaten.
MedicPigBabySaver@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 2y
Exactly how many people I've transported by ambulance in the past 36 years?
ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 2y
Status effects.
I wanna know what the fuck is wrong with my brain.
TehBamski@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y
Don't we all?
sntx@lemm.ee · 4 pts · 2y
Total amount of Energy consumed
there1snospoon@ttrpg.network · 4 pts · 2y
How much money I’ve spent on her.
Kolanaki@yiffit.net · 3 pts · 2y
I wanna see my KDR.
"Hold up... How is it 684:10?"
fluke@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y
Found the cat.
livus@kbin.social · 2 pts · 2y
Runway remaining/life expectancy.
theskyisfalling@lemmy.dbzer0.com · -1 pts · 2y
I'd want to know how many bong hits I have taken in my life.....
Globulart@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y
Number of joints would be a depressing number I fear. Amount spent on weed would probably hurt more, but put that next to amount spent on alcohol and I'd probably feel ok about it.