The Valkyries will sing of my valor!

612 points · 21 comments · view on lemmy.world

21 Comments

rubicon@lemmy.ca · 36 pts · 2y

I don't think that would work, hospice nurses are pretty chill. I mean no matter how much of an asshole you are, they know they can smugly wait and watch you die.

jopepa@lemmy.world · 34 pts · 2y (4 replies)

You know what else died in combat? Every bee that’s ever stung anybody throughout all time.

starman2112@sh.itjust.works · 22 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Fuck yeah, can't make mead without honey

jopepa@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y

Pint half full

SwallowsDick@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 2y

Some men live just to send bees to Valhalla

pirating@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y

Since a vast majority of bees are female, they should become a swarm of Shieldmaidens!

shalafi@lemmy.world · 14 pts · 2y (2 replies)

Odin: "Fine. You're in. Go sit at the kid's table. The adults are looting and pillaging and quaffing beer."

Ookami38@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 2y (1 reply)

I read queefing beer, and had a whole new picture of Valhalla.

bingbong@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 5 pts · 2y

"Queen of Valhalla, sit on my face !"

Chetzemoka@startrek.website · 13 pts · 2y

I'm happy to accept a juice box to the face as part of my end of life nursing duties. To Valhalla with you all!!!

VelvetStorm@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 2y (2 replies)

Iirc that's not even their heaven it's just where their best fighters go to join Odin's army so they can fight and lose in Ragnarok. Iirc Hel is their underworld and it can be a good or bad place depending on who you are.

Ranvier@sopuli.xyz · 3 pts · 2y (1 reply)

It's not even where all their fighters go. Odin only gets half. Freyja gets the other half who go to Fólkvangr.

VelvetStorm@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

And don't you also have to die with weapon in hand too?

qarbone@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Why would you want to go to Valhalla? If you're tossing juice at a caretaker to cheat your way into an afterlife, you're not the type that'd do well murdering people for eons.

CaptainBlagbird@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y

How does that connect? Maybe they were the type who was really good at murdering and bad at dying. Now they're old and weak because that and this is the last chance to escape Hel's grip.

sederx@programming.dev · -1 pts · 2y (5 replies)

Back in the day people were really dumb as fuck

FlyingSquid@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 2y

We have a bunch of Christians in Israel breeding red cows to make Jesus come back.

https://www.timesofisrael.com/red-heifer-temple-institute/

The stupid never left.

Murais@lemmy.one · 3 pts · 2y

My ancestors are smiling on me, Imperial. Can you say the same?

Gabu@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y (2 replies)

Imagine thinking that the belief of a sky-fairy that sticks his baby into a virgin woman is somehow more sensible than Valhalla.

sederx@programming.dev · 0 pts · 2y (1 reply)

2 things can be dumb

Gabu@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y

In which case the observation is "people are really dumb", no past tense.