You are still you, you can speak human language that you already know, and you know how to speak duck.
You have to learn how to be a duck. This means you gotta learn how to fly, hunt food, etc.
You are still you, you can speak human language that you already know, and you know how to speak duck.
You have to learn how to be a duck. This means you gotta learn how to fly, hunt food, etc.
85 Comments
orangeNgreen@lemmy.world · 80 pts · 2y
I’d walk to a lemonade stand to see if they had any grapes.
spicytuna62@lemmy.world · 41 pts · 2y
Then (and I cannot emphasize this enough) I'd waddle away.
Tippon@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 7 pts · 2y
Till the very next day?
Therealmglitch@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 2y
It's been 84 years...
BustinJiber@lemmy.world · 56 pts · 2y
Put on a blue cap, blue nautical shirt; but, and I can't stress this enough, NO PANTS.
DoctorWhookah@sh.itjust.works · 17 pts · 2y
But for gods sake, wrap yourself in a towel after you shower.
shapesandstuff@feddit.de · 6 pts · 2y
Hand cover your crotch if someone walks in on you
doggle@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 53 pts · 2y
Quack
Therealmglitch@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y
Quack?!
Thisfox@sopuli.xyz · 1 pts · 2y
Quack.
SendMePhotos@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y
QUAAAAACCCKKK....!!!
Drunemeton@lemmy.world · 46 pts · 2y
FLY!
Damn, 3 hour old post and no one said FLY!? Ya’all need to be ducks more often…
GobiasIndustries@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 2y
This guy ducks
SwingingTheLamp@midwest.social · 8 pts · 2y
Autocorrect has its moment of glory!
Jimmycrackcrack@lemmy.ml · 33 pts · 2y
Quack
steven@infosec.pub · 2 pts · 2y
Came here to read this comment
Susaga@ttrpg.network · 27 pts · 2y
Open a wine bottle, maybe? Put the corkscrew to use.
Therealmglitch@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 2y
"Bro, you see that duck over there? It stole my wine bottle"
Susaga@ttrpg.network · 6 pts · 2y
"Do you want it back? It's already open now." "You know what? I think I'll pass."
Therealmglitch@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y
"Get back here, I want it back!!"
tubbadu@lemmy.kde.social · 21 pts · 2y
Quak
Therealmglitch@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 2y
Quack?
Susaga@ttrpg.network · 9 pts · 2y
Quack :)
cokeslutgarbage@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 2y
Quack
hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 3 pts · 2y
Quack?
Nemo@midwest.social · 5 pts · 2y
you're learning!
Susaga@ttrpg.network · 4 pts · 2y
Yay!
BustinJiber@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 2y
Eughm, QUARK
xmunk@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 2y
What beautiful lobes you have.
shapesandstuff@feddit.de · 19 pts · 2y
Quack
Bougie_Birdie@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 5 pts · 2y
Came here to quack, was not disappointed
OutlierBlue@lemmy.ca · 18 pts · 2y
Murder.
hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 5 pts · 2y
Peace was never an option.
loopy@lemm.ee · 15 pts · 2y
Depends, am I a horse-sized duck? I might have some people to fight
Wes_Dev@lemmy.ml · 3 pts · 2y
I see you're a person of culture.
smuuthbrane@sh.itjust.works · 15 pts · 2y
Pick one person at a time and speak to them in human language. In some cases it will be to give them a special magical friend, in other cases it will be to cause them to question their sanity.
Then I'd get to seeing about this whole corkscrew dick thing.
yuuunikki@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 15 pts · 2y
joyjoy@lemm.ee · 7 pts · 2y
yuuunikki@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 2y
ElderWendigo@sh.itjust.works · 15 pts · 2y
boredtortoise@lemm.ee · 2 pts · 2y
Does Howard have a duck dick or a human dick
Chakravanti@sh.itjust.works · 0 pts · 2y
Is that Duckdo? Or are they both ducks...
ElderWendigo@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 2y
Lea Thompson is not a duck.
Chakravanti@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 2y
Yeah, okay but neither is that duck.
ElderWendigo@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 2y
I don't know what a Duckdo is. That's Howard the duck.
Chakravanti@sh.itjust.works · 0 pts · 2y
I can't explain it if you can't see it.
Chakravanti@sh.itjust.works · 0 pts · 2y
So no go?
LopensLeftArm@sh.itjust.works · 14 pts · 2y
Got any grapes?
Taleya@aussie.zone · 14 pts · 2y
Crime
hakunawazo@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y
Or crime busting
Dlayknee@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y
I am the terror that flaps in the night...
hakunawazo@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y
I am the ingrown toenail on the foot of crime...
https://darkwingduck.fandom.com/wiki/Catchphrases
NumbersCanBeFun@kbin.social · 13 pts · 2y
kemsat@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 2y
Head downtown & act cute until a college girl adopts me as her pet. Duck-nuzzle some boobies.
souperk@reddthat.com · 12 pts · 2y
I would learn to fly and then fly to one of those parks where secret service agents meet. Become a spy and sell the intelligence I gather.
Grayox@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 2y
Fly into bohemian grove.
Macaroni_ninja@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 2y
Check if my quack has an echo
livus@kbin.social · 11 pts · 2y
Failing that:
carefully waddle to where I know people feed ducks
practice flying and copy other ducks
ask other ducks for tips
bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de · 10 pts · 2y
Peace was never an option.
Vode_An@lemmy.ml · 9 pts · 2y
I find someone with a corkscrew fetish.
SuiXi3D@kbin.social · 9 pts · 2y
I’d float around in the water as my body would now resemble a boat.
altima_neo@lemmy.zip · 9 pts · 2y
Find /u/fuckswithducks
ExLisper@linux.community · 9 pts · 2y
Cover my feathers in wax like substance from my ass glands. Once I'm all waxed up I go for a swim.
mcqtom@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 2y
Pretty sure I'd drop my phone.
shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee · 8 pts · 2y
Fly into the sunset.
CrimeDad@lemmy.crimedad.work · 7 pts · 2y
Betray my country.
Starglasses@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 7 pts · 2y
SendMePhotos@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y
Typically a demo flight at an airport is like $100. Go do that, too!
Wes_Dev@lemmy.ml · 7 pts · 2y
I would have an exploding corkscrew penis. I'll find ways to entertain myself.
DharmaCurious@startrek.website · 7 pts · 2y
Probably contacting some media outlets to try and monetize my talking-duck status, and wondering if if my life expectancy is on par with duck or human.
themeatbridge@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 2y
Do you want to end up being dissected in a government lab? Because that's how you get dissected in a government lab.
Candelestine@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 2y
Probably open up my phone and pull up youtube to watch some duck documentaries. I don't even know what I'm supposed to be eating or what things out there are usually wanting to eat me.
xmunk@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 2y
There are some really good "I just woke up as a duck" tutorials on Coursera.
livus@kbin.social · 4 pts · 2y
Avoid the ones on Wiki How, they are repurposed courses originally intended for people who woke up as a chicken.
Damaskox@kbin.social · 6 pts · 2y
Probably make a poo on the floor.
Either mine or in the hallway (if I know how to open the door).
chtk@feddit.nl · 1 pts · 2y
JERRY, NO MINECRAFT! I'M TRYING TO SLEEP!
PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocks · 1 pts · 2y
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JERRY, NO MINECRAFT! I'M TRYING TO SLEEP!
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DoctorWhookah@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 2y
I’d head straight to Subway for my free sandwich!
grabyourmotherskeys@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y
Immediately make a joke about quacking up.
Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y
It all keeps adding up..
SendMePhotos@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y
The first thing is probably quack.. I would love to fly to someone in the park working on something and solve the issue for them. I'd like to be known as a helpful duck.
0x4E4F@infosec.pub · 5 pts · 2y
I start wondering if I'm ugly.
indigomirage@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 2y
Nacktmull@lemm.ee · 3 pts · 2y
Jerb322@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y
Fly south
captainlezbian@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y
Attack someone with a sandwich
nis@feddit.dk · 2 pts · 2y
I'd duck. Then I would probably duck some more.
PopcornPrincess@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y
Hockey.
notonReddit@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 0 pts · 2y
Squirrel@thelemmy.club · -1 pts · 2y
The question implies that you would still have your human brain, not that you would think like an actual duck.
notonReddit@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 2y
Antimutt@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 0 pts · 2y
There could be more to it than that - like take up ballet.
PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocks · 1 pts · 2y
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more to it
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