BuckarooBanzai

u/BuckarooBanzai@kbin.social
30 posts · 11 comments

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That groove pops. Speaking of the cats, apparently the extradimensional nature of the @13thFloor combined with frequent visits to the Caravan Palace has resulted in a batch of fall Rift Kittens. They'd like to say Hello, Stranger.

Note that if you visited the Caravan Palace within the last two months, you may be on the hook for child support and/or wanted for questioning in a murder investigation, depending on your activities and your time of visit.

Excellent question - thank you for bringing it forward.

Safe sedation in an extradimensional space can be challenging. As you know, in conventional reality, an anesthesiologist must go through extensive training to ensure that proper dosages based on the patient's physiology, age, and weight are applied without harm. In other dimensions, this is further complicated as the anesthesiologist must not only determine the natural frequency of the patient, but also of the medication itself.

However, unlike the technique of simply harmonizing the frequencies to ensure your surgical tools don't induce catastrophic quantum vibration, medication has to be more precisely tailored to both the originating frequency of the patient and the current frequency of the dimension occupied to properly sedate the patient without asphyxiation, or worse, creating a quantum resonance cascade leading to uncontrolled mutation.

As such, my esteemed colleague and bandmate, Dr. New Jersey (notably the first person to wear a cowboy hat in the 8th dimension), spent a great deal of time developing a solution. His brilliant hypothesis has been tested multiple times in the field, and while unconventional, I think that with proper peer review, it will likely be confirmed as established theory. He calls it Narcotic Quantum Waltzing, or NQW.

What Dr. Jersey discovered was that while matching frequencies between the medication and the current dimension caused a quantum resonance cascade, as did matching the medication with the patient, if you harmonized the frequency of the medication between the two differing frequencies, it creates a half-way point of quantum entanglement between the patient's physiology and their current dimension. What he also found was that the pattern of application was also important based on the patients biorhythms. A single dose would work for a moment, but then collapse into a cascade. However, small doses applied with at precise locations on the dermis through injection in a rhythmic pattern, each containing a dosage vibrating at the mid-point of the two frequency points (of patient and dimension), resulted in no harm to the patient.

Coincidentally, the rhythmic pattern he discovered that worked for this application was "1.. 2.. 3.. 1.. 2.. 3.. 1.. 2.. 3.. 1.." - a waltz.

Now, in my lecture, I did briefly touch on the use of quantum nanotechnology, and this is where it shines, as the nanobots can precisely deliver the medication to the intended neural receptors based on the individual harmonic resonance of the cells using the NQW technique. If you don't have nanobots available, I recommend utilizing an anesthesiologist with excellent dexterity, a firm grasp of musical theory, and extensive experience as a drummer.