I got sad and disappointed when he rejected me, so I cried for a day, then got my shit together and remembering what I'm worth for the next few days after that. I just kept in mind that it's his choice and I was trying to logic my way out of it. Because in reality, he works a lot (he helps pay majority of his share of the rent for his family), takes care of his ill grandmother everyday, and goes to university full time. So even if we did date, he would struggle to find the time to priorize me. His work/life balance isn't the best.
Having a crush on someone makes me idealize them, ignoring their flaws/red flags even when I know they're not this "perfect" person (nobody is perfect ya know?). Though, I wanted to give dating another shot.
What changed was my relationship with myself. I started asking myself "do I even want a relationship right now?" "do I have the emotional capacity to handle my own emotions and another person's emotions too?", "Am I just lonely?" and just being honest. The more I re-evaluate, the more I realized I need a lot of time to be on my own. I began to question why dating is a thing, what's the point, what I wanted out of life, and if marriage is something I want for my own life. Because relationships aren't the only thing in life that matters and it shouldn't be the only thing someone revolves their life around.
I met him when I was still healing from my breakup. He became a safe space for me and I latched onto him quickly. My brain wasn't thinking very clearly that year. ðŸ˜. He has the qualities I look for in a boyfriend (caring, respectful, supportive, thoughtful, empathetic), but being a good person doesn't necessarily equate to being a good partner.
I'm planning my next one will be a cybersigilism style tattoo with the text "keep moving forward". I struggle with depression and rumination, so this phrase would help me avoid thinking about the past so much. These are the ones I designed (I am an illustrator).
Currently learning welding for a career path, but you can do it as a hobby, too. I like taekwondo when it comes to exercising. I did it for a year when I was a kid. I got into gym a couple months ago and decided to add martial arts to the routine. I use YouTube tutorials to learn by myself, but eventually I wanna join an actual class.
Building miniture models or just crafting in general is meditative to me. I've always love to work with my hands since I was little, so building stuff like stools, cosplay props, decor, etc. just stuck with me till this day as an adult.
When I'm not creatively burnt out, I would combine photography with digital art or make some posters for graphic design practice. I've been drawing for a longggggg time and is on the way to getting my bachelor's in the arts. All the mediums that I've learned and experienced is combined into one artwork.
Taekwondo or any martial arts. You look cool, you feel like John Wick, and good stress reliever. For me, I did it for a year when I was a kid so it's a favorite childhood sport.
My guy friend and I are pretty close even when we met 2 years ago. We met in animation class for college. We talked about our hobbies and interests, helped each other with assignments, and we had the same classes for the next 2 semesters. We became friends pretty quickly.
He asked me about my lore/my life and I was able to be vulnerable with him the more I got to know him. He's a safe and chill person to be with. I was able to trust him with my secrets. That's what made our bond so special--he's been there for me and I'm there for him too.
I developed feelings for him. I confessed and got turned down. We're still very close friends and would help each other out.
Beautifully choreographed dances, has dark and sinister vibe, beautifully shot and performed, and well edited. Totally worth checking it out
Jeff Satur- Fade (Thai Ver.)
Beautifully shot. Old-timey, soft aesthetic. Has a melancholic, sad vibe. A song about heartbreak and love. Also worth listening! (This was the song that got me thru my lowest time)
"FIRMLY GRASP IT!" Patrick stabs injured Squidward with jellyfish net handle
"East? I thought you said Weast" "That's west, Patrick"
Patrick scraping the floor with upside down broom Krusty Krab customer: "Did you just blow in from stupid town?"
(From Spongebob and scenes where characters just randomly explode)
Bojack Horseman explaining to Princess Caroline that he can express feelings cuts to Bojack putting his hand over a fire on the stove "Nothing on the outside, nothing on the inside"
Most of the time is sub. The anime I always watch in dubbed is Yugioh. I like Dan Green's voice acting for Yami Yugi better than the original Japanese version. I grew up hearing the dubbed version and I also like Joey's New York accent
Surfing and Taekwondo. I enjoy activities that are competitive and challenges your discipline. I'm incredibly burnt out during university, so not a lot of energy left after classes have pushed me to my limit this year. Took several advanced art/design classes in the fall, a winter class, a woodworking class and biology in the spring.
I have the time and money, but no energy to do anything. My body and mind wants to rest. And I need to prioritize my career plan in welding and uni first, before I can have fun.
Lord of the Rings trilogy, John Wick, Spiderman 1, 2, 3 and the ones with Andrew Garfield. Train to Busan, Shutter Island, Sixth Sense, Back to the Future, Terminator: Judgement Day, The Dark Knight, Joker, Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocal, Pirates of the Caribbean, Now you see me films
Not movie, but shows: Breaking Bad, Barry, Bojack Horseman, The Walking Dead (up until around season 5), Lost (up until season 3)
Been teaching myself Taekwondo lately through YouTube. I started lifting weights and wanted to include martial arts to keep things interesting. I did Taekwondo when I was a kid but quit after getting to yellow belt because it was too difficult for me at the time. Now, I like the challenge.
I tend to overshare online about my trauma because I want to feel seen and then a wave of guilt washes over me. Best to keep it to myself on paper. I journal to keep a record of my feelings, how my days/week went, and to help me reduce overthinking.
As years go by, I look back on how much I've grown and progressed in life. Though I did throw the notebooks away because they were filled with horrible memories and I wanted to start over. I still remember what I wrote, but I've healed from them so it doesn't really hurt me that much anymore.
I also have a book of wins where I write everything that I achieved from small to big wins-- from getting out of bed with depression to hitting the gym to solving a difficult problem on a project.
Got into weight lifting/gym/Taekwondo a month ago. Mental health and sleep quality has been significantly better. I'm able to carry many heavy grocery bags all in one trip, less anxious/overthinking thoughts, I wake up earlier and is able to work on woodworking projects for uni late at night without being overly tired.
Also it trained my determination, grit, and persistence. I would tell myself "Just one more push up, one more bicep curl, one more kick!" and I end up doing 5 or 6 more reps.
Scared of dating and getting my heart broken again. Too much pain for me to handle. And I'm not where I want to be in life right now. So I'm focusing on myself (mental and phyical health) and building my future career. It's been the most peaceful years of my life since my break up.
Nature documentaries-- how different kinds of wildlife thrive on Earth. There's weird looking ones with cool abilities like the cuttlefish that can flash colors, scary deep sea creatures, unique birds that make cool and scary sounds like the Shoebill, and plants with unusual patterns.
Also how the filmmakers were able to capture all kinds of life with extreme close-ups and David Attenborough's iconic narration
Currently in college. Realizing my original life plan is not for me while being an art major; aka having a quarter life crisis while in class.
Summary: I wanted to work for DreamWorks as a visual development artist (ppl who work behind the scenes that help world build for the art director/team in the movies you watch and games you play). I found out how extremely competitive this is and how much studios push overworking and hustle culture for little pay most of the time + exploiting aspiring artists' labor. I had severe depression for several months and was questioning my life goals/values, what it means to be happy.
How is this the best thing? It helped me realize what career was not for me (a painful way though as it crushed my soul). It helped me pivot to something else (the trades/welding; I like to work with my hands). Ever since high school, I had one life goal and that was to work for a studio in gaming or animation. I didn't want to go into anything else because nothing interested me, but art when i was a teenager. I hated STEM because of how I was taught in school; hated math the most. The only STEM related subject I loved learning in high school was psychology. Now I'm open to other career options as I learned more about myself and other subjects I liked. I began to slowly enjoy learning about robotics. Best to keep my passion as a hobby.
This happened during September to November of 2025.
Weed. I've heard that it helps people calm their anxiety and makes depression a bit more manageable to live with, but I'm afraid that if I do try it, it'll make my mental illness worse.
Also vaping as a coping mechanism for dealing with life. I know it's unhealthy. But a part of me wants to try it to take the pain away, but is scared that I'll get addicted. And if I do, it'll be a hassle to deal with that and quit the bad habit since I've heard and seen many horror stories about people trying to quit smoking.
I got sad and disappointed when he rejected me, so I cried for a day, then got my shit together and remembering what I'm worth for the next few days after that. I just kept in mind that it's his choice and I was trying to logic my way out of it. Because in reality, he works a lot (he helps pay majority of his share of the rent for his family), takes care of his ill grandmother everyday, and goes to university full time. So even if we did date, he would struggle to find the time to priorize me. His work/life balance isn't the best.
Having a crush on someone makes me idealize them, ignoring their flaws/red flags even when I know they're not this "perfect" person (nobody is perfect ya know?). Though, I wanted to give dating another shot.
What changed was my relationship with myself. I started asking myself "do I even want a relationship right now?" "do I have the emotional capacity to handle my own emotions and another person's emotions too?", "Am I just lonely?" and just being honest. The more I re-evaluate, the more I realized I need a lot of time to be on my own. I began to question why dating is a thing, what's the point, what I wanted out of life, and if marriage is something I want for my own life. Because relationships aren't the only thing in life that matters and it shouldn't be the only thing someone revolves their life around.
I met him when I was still healing from my breakup. He became a safe space for me and I latched onto him quickly. My brain wasn't thinking very clearly that year. ðŸ˜. He has the qualities I look for in a boyfriend (caring, respectful, supportive, thoughtful, empathetic), but being a good person doesn't necessarily equate to being a good partner.
I'm planning my next one will be a cybersigilism style tattoo with the text "keep moving forward". I struggle with depression and rumination, so this phrase would help me avoid thinking about the past so much. These are the ones I designed (I am an illustrator).
Currently learning welding for a career path, but you can do it as a hobby, too. I like taekwondo when it comes to exercising. I did it for a year when I was a kid. I got into gym a couple months ago and decided to add martial arts to the routine. I use YouTube tutorials to learn by myself, but eventually I wanna join an actual class.
Building miniture models or just crafting in general is meditative to me. I've always love to work with my hands since I was little, so building stuff like stools, cosplay props, decor, etc. just stuck with me till this day as an adult.
When I'm not creatively burnt out, I would combine photography with digital art or make some posters for graphic design practice. I've been drawing for a longggggg time and is on the way to getting my bachelor's in the arts. All the mediums that I've learned and experienced is combined into one artwork.
Taekwondo or any martial arts. You look cool, you feel like John Wick, and good stress reliever. For me, I did it for a year when I was a kid so it's a favorite childhood sport.
My guy friend and I are pretty close even when we met 2 years ago. We met in animation class for college. We talked about our hobbies and interests, helped each other with assignments, and we had the same classes for the next 2 semesters. We became friends pretty quickly.
He asked me about my lore/my life and I was able to be vulnerable with him the more I got to know him. He's a safe and chill person to be with. I was able to trust him with my secrets. That's what made our bond so special--he's been there for me and I'm there for him too.
I developed feelings for him. I confessed and got turned down. We're still very close friends and would help each other out.
Jackson Wang- Come Alive
Beautifully choreographed dances, has dark and sinister vibe, beautifully shot and performed, and well edited. Totally worth checking it out
Jeff Satur- Fade (Thai Ver.)
Beautifully shot. Old-timey, soft aesthetic. Has a melancholic, sad vibe. A song about heartbreak and love. Also worth listening! (This was the song that got me thru my lowest time)
"FIRMLY GRASP IT!" Patrick stabs injured Squidward with jellyfish net handle
"East? I thought you said Weast" "That's west, Patrick"
Patrick scraping the floor with upside down broom Krusty Krab customer: "Did you just blow in from stupid town?"
(From Spongebob and scenes where characters just randomly explode)
Bojack Horseman explaining to Princess Caroline that he can express feelings cuts to Bojack putting his hand over a fire on the stove "Nothing on the outside, nothing on the inside"
Most of the time is sub. The anime I always watch in dubbed is Yugioh. I like Dan Green's voice acting for Yami Yugi better than the original Japanese version. I grew up hearing the dubbed version and I also like Joey's New York accent
Yeah, me too (with learning how to drift). Looks so much fun to do. That, and learning how to drive a motorcycle too.
Surfing and Taekwondo. I enjoy activities that are competitive and challenges your discipline. I'm incredibly burnt out during university, so not a lot of energy left after classes have pushed me to my limit this year. Took several advanced art/design classes in the fall, a winter class, a woodworking class and biology in the spring.
I have the time and money, but no energy to do anything. My body and mind wants to rest. And I need to prioritize my career plan in welding and uni first, before I can have fun.
Lord of the Rings trilogy, John Wick, Spiderman 1, 2, 3 and the ones with Andrew Garfield. Train to Busan, Shutter Island, Sixth Sense, Back to the Future, Terminator: Judgement Day, The Dark Knight, Joker, Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocal, Pirates of the Caribbean, Now you see me films
Not movie, but shows: Breaking Bad, Barry, Bojack Horseman, The Walking Dead (up until around season 5), Lost (up until season 3)
Been teaching myself Taekwondo lately through YouTube. I started lifting weights and wanted to include martial arts to keep things interesting. I did Taekwondo when I was a kid but quit after getting to yellow belt because it was too difficult for me at the time. Now, I like the challenge.
I tend to overshare online about my trauma because I want to feel seen and then a wave of guilt washes over me. Best to keep it to myself on paper. I journal to keep a record of my feelings, how my days/week went, and to help me reduce overthinking.
As years go by, I look back on how much I've grown and progressed in life. Though I did throw the notebooks away because they were filled with horrible memories and I wanted to start over. I still remember what I wrote, but I've healed from them so it doesn't really hurt me that much anymore.
I also have a book of wins where I write everything that I achieved from small to big wins-- from getting out of bed with depression to hitting the gym to solving a difficult problem on a project.
Got into weight lifting/gym/Taekwondo a month ago. Mental health and sleep quality has been significantly better. I'm able to carry many heavy grocery bags all in one trip, less anxious/overthinking thoughts, I wake up earlier and is able to work on woodworking projects for uni late at night without being overly tired.
Also it trained my determination, grit, and persistence. I would tell myself "Just one more push up, one more bicep curl, one more kick!" and I end up doing 5 or 6 more reps.
Scared of dating and getting my heart broken again. Too much pain for me to handle. And I'm not where I want to be in life right now. So I'm focusing on myself (mental and phyical health) and building my future career. It's been the most peaceful years of my life since my break up.
Nature documentaries-- how different kinds of wildlife thrive on Earth. There's weird looking ones with cool abilities like the cuttlefish that can flash colors, scary deep sea creatures, unique birds that make cool and scary sounds like the Shoebill, and plants with unusual patterns.
Also how the filmmakers were able to capture all kinds of life with extreme close-ups and David Attenborough's iconic narration
I think I was in pre-school, just beginning to learn about the world
Currently in college. Realizing my original life plan is not for me while being an art major; aka having a quarter life crisis while in class.
Summary: I wanted to work for DreamWorks as a visual development artist (ppl who work behind the scenes that help world build for the art director/team in the movies you watch and games you play). I found out how extremely competitive this is and how much studios push overworking and hustle culture for little pay most of the time + exploiting aspiring artists' labor. I had severe depression for several months and was questioning my life goals/values, what it means to be happy.
How is this the best thing? It helped me realize what career was not for me (a painful way though as it crushed my soul). It helped me pivot to something else (the trades/welding; I like to work with my hands). Ever since high school, I had one life goal and that was to work for a studio in gaming or animation. I didn't want to go into anything else because nothing interested me, but art when i was a teenager. I hated STEM because of how I was taught in school; hated math the most. The only STEM related subject I loved learning in high school was psychology. Now I'm open to other career options as I learned more about myself and other subjects I liked. I began to slowly enjoy learning about robotics. Best to keep my passion as a hobby.
This happened during September to November of 2025.
Weed. I've heard that it helps people calm their anxiety and makes depression a bit more manageable to live with, but I'm afraid that if I do try it, it'll make my mental illness worse.
Also vaping as a coping mechanism for dealing with life. I know it's unhealthy. But a part of me wants to try it to take the pain away, but is scared that I'll get addicted. And if I do, it'll be a hassle to deal with that and quit the bad habit since I've heard and seen many horror stories about people trying to quit smoking.
Yugioh, Jojo's Bizzare Adventure, Devil May Cry (2025), nichijou, Noragami