For anyone who comes across this in the future looking for an answer, I went with MX Linux KDE, which is based on Debian, and has great customization features and a native program to essentially clone and install the system elsewhere.
Shipping him a hard drive with the system is something I might consider too, since that night actually be easier for him to install with instructions then anything software. I remember that computer had a SATA SSD
Edited to make clearer - I'm not using an image that's over 10 years, that's what he has installed on his PC. It can't be updated anymore, and even Firefox on it is getting deprecated soon.
I want to send him a USB with a customized version of Mint 22.1
I imagine if a Chinese company far away can pull all this off for so long without getting caught, the entire close by Russian government could do much, much more.
From my perspective, none of what transpired was polyamorous. It sounds like she just monkey-branched you and she's always been monogamous, and simply looked for an old flame because of all the stressors that occured (past regression I think it's called? Some kind of withdrawal to something positive in your past when things become terrible). Either way, she has always cheated on you, and pretending to want to open up the relationship was just further deception, and only was even suggested because she was caught. People like that, give polyamory a bad name.
I think what you should ask yourself too is, are you actually ready for a poly relationship, or even a monogamous one? To me it sounds like you're living in a toxic environment, where she has used your feelings to keep you as a dad and provider while doing what she wants, and suffering no repercussions from her hurtful actions. Maybe you need to hear this, or maybe you've already heard it, but what she's done to you is wrong, man. Very wrong. I could never do something like that to any of my partners, even if I no longer loved them the same.
I feel like an official divorce and complete separation would be best for you before you seek out a new relationship. Polyamory takes more work and communication than monogamy, and it really doesn't sound like you're in the headspace at the moment.
If you haven't, I think you should see a therapist and talk out your feelings and get down to how your core is, and how to overcome the fear and uncertainty you still have before jumping into any relationship. Otherwise you might just be hurting yourself further in the long run.
That's just my opinion based on what you've posted though, you know you better than I of course.
Just so everyone who might be newer is aware, dragonfucker is an infamous Lemmy troll. They mess with multiple minority communities specifically and constantly try to cause infighting.
Also extremely useful to know, and a good idea. Universal blue is Fedora though right? How does that do on older desktops compared to Debian based systems?
He forgot how to use email. Once on the phone, after he finally figured out how to see my video call (he couldn't figure out how to start his) I walked him through step by step on trying to just get rust desk - which is in the Ubuntu repository already - installed, and failed at that.
Not only to him, but to a lot of elderly people, software is essentially magic. They don't even quite understand the concept of "installing". It took me awhile of explaining, with pictures and such, that a Google search isn't run by people bringing up the information you're looking for.
That's why I've already typed and printed detailed step by step instructions on just the installation process for the OS, so that he can follow that. He does a lot better with physical mediums, like paper, USB, and so on. He even managed to install an SSD (with my direct in person supervision) and kind of understand what that was.
The neighbors wouldn't work, since on one side is an empty house and the other has also very tech illiterate people (and in the case of the parents of the neighbors, actually fully illiterate).
For anyone who comes across this in the future looking for an answer, I went with MX Linux KDE, which is based on Debian, and has great customization features and a native program to essentially clone and install the system elsewhere.
Shipping him a hard drive with the system is something I might consider too, since that night actually be easier for him to install with instructions then anything software. I remember that computer had a SATA SSD
Meant to reply to op not you whoops
Edited to make clearer - I'm not using an image that's over 10 years, that's what he has installed on his PC. It can't be updated anymore, and even Firefox on it is getting deprecated soon.
I want to send him a USB with a customized version of Mint 22.1
He did literally say it's not meant for consumer use, it's just his build for himself that you're free to use
Just wanted to update, in case anyone came across this: wasn't any different than Cubic really, just with more options.
Now going to test setting it up on a laptop instead of VM and using Systemback to make it into an iso
I imagine if a Chinese company far away can pull all this off for so long without getting caught, the entire close by Russian government could do much, much more.
From my perspective, none of what transpired was polyamorous. It sounds like she just monkey-branched you and she's always been monogamous, and simply looked for an old flame because of all the stressors that occured (past regression I think it's called? Some kind of withdrawal to something positive in your past when things become terrible). Either way, she has always cheated on you, and pretending to want to open up the relationship was just further deception, and only was even suggested because she was caught. People like that, give polyamory a bad name.
I think what you should ask yourself too is, are you actually ready for a poly relationship, or even a monogamous one? To me it sounds like you're living in a toxic environment, where she has used your feelings to keep you as a dad and provider while doing what she wants, and suffering no repercussions from her hurtful actions. Maybe you need to hear this, or maybe you've already heard it, but what she's done to you is wrong, man. Very wrong. I could never do something like that to any of my partners, even if I no longer loved them the same.
I feel like an official divorce and complete separation would be best for you before you seek out a new relationship. Polyamory takes more work and communication than monogamy, and it really doesn't sound like you're in the headspace at the moment.
If you haven't, I think you should see a therapist and talk out your feelings and get down to how your core is, and how to overcome the fear and uncertainty you still have before jumping into any relationship. Otherwise you might just be hurting yourself further in the long run.
That's just my opinion based on what you've posted though, you know you better than I of course.
Just so everyone who might be newer is aware, dragonfucker is an infamous Lemmy troll. They mess with multiple minority communities specifically and constantly try to cause infighting.
Also it's to make sure he can hit superman. Superman is faster than a speeding bullet, but a batpoon isn't a bullet. Checkmate
Also extremely useful to know, and a good idea. Universal blue is Fedora though right? How does that do on older desktops compared to Debian based systems?
He forgot how to use email. Once on the phone, after he finally figured out how to see my video call (he couldn't figure out how to start his) I walked him through step by step on trying to just get rust desk - which is in the Ubuntu repository already - installed, and failed at that.
Not only to him, but to a lot of elderly people, software is essentially magic. They don't even quite understand the concept of "installing". It took me awhile of explaining, with pictures and such, that a Google search isn't run by people bringing up the information you're looking for.
That's why I've already typed and printed detailed step by step instructions on just the installation process for the OS, so that he can follow that. He does a lot better with physical mediums, like paper, USB, and so on. He even managed to install an SSD (with my direct in person supervision) and kind of understand what that was.
But software? Magic essentially.
This might be exactly what I need. I will definitely be trying it first thing tomorrow
Yup, problem is I'm now too far to set that up. I'm about an 18 hour flight away, assuming small layovers.
He had LTS, but that was 8 years ago.
The neighbors wouldn't work, since on one side is an empty house and the other has also very tech illiterate people (and in the case of the parents of the neighbors, actually fully illiterate).
I like the idea to have though for the future
I'm in another country, how would I install it while also updating his OS?
Microsoft
The fee varies based on multiple factors, but international with currency conversion it can actually reach an estimated total of 5%.
So technically the information wasn't wrong either, it's most likely your dad asked the wrong question or didn't understand the answer.
Searching on DDG gives a similar answer btw.
It's not LLMs ruining his brain, he's just dumb on the topic.
Still just taking your word for it. It'd be best verified by ICE. Especially if you were a Canadian immigrant, easy to falsify this stuff.
You don't deserve due process until it's verified you deserve due process.
(Chat, you think the boomer will get the point I'm making now?)