Semester3383

u/Semester3383@lemmy.world
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It was a long argument about symbolism, and why Satan was the symbol that was used. My mom in particular had a hard time wrapping her head around the idea that god was actually the asshole of the bible, and that Satan acted in a largely humanist way. She also had a hard time accepting that Satan was purely symbolic, because she sees an adversarial figure as real.

Well... Yeah. I mean, no, going to work isn't exactly consensual; the coercion is that, if you don't, you end up homeless. I get it. I assume that the people involved have other prospects in life, and that they aren't filming 1 or 2 kink [dot] com scenes and then having enough money to retire on.

I came out to my parents as a Satanist, oh, about a decade ago? They're conservative Christians, and I was sick of them constantly proselytizing to me. They've finally mostly quit.

That's... Not really true.

The gov't supplies ammunition, yes. But you can also quite legally buy your own ammunition. And you can take your military rifle to a range to practice.

Given that scenes can be incredibly intense, I think the exit interviews are pretty critical to demonstrating that it was all consensual. I've seen a porn where the woman started crying in the middle--not BDSM, but still very, very rough--and it sure as shit didn't look like she was doing anything very willingly after that point.

on Can't Decide · c/motorcycles · 2 pts · 16d

...I would not buy a super sport as a first bike. Or a naked sport, for that matter.

Ha. I listen to a lot of prog and jazz. Noise cancelling headphones, and sound isolating in-ear monitors are absolutely critical. Despite that, I've listened to music at high enough volume--including at concerts--that i've got slight tinnitus now.

on *Permanently Deleted* · c/askfedinsfw · 1 pts · 17d

Sure. And I would absolutely want to talk about those reasons before I would do that with you. Or with anyone. (Personally, I also confine BDSM pretty strictly to relationships; I'm not comfortable doing anything other than practice rope work outside of a relationship.)

Shit's complicated, yo. Finding the right partner when you have serious BDSM fetishes is a real challenge, because you have to work together in much more complicated ways than if you were completely vanilla.

on *Permanently Deleted* · c/askfedinsfw · 2 pts · 17d

I would say it would depend. I would want to know why.

In my experience, most, and maybe all, people that have serious BDSM fetishes--I don't mean fuzzy handcuffs and light spanking--don't exactly have a healthy relationship with their own sexuality. It's often, maybe always, used as a coping mechanism for other traumas, either sexual or psychological. Sometimes it can be an extremely unhealthy coping mechanism, e.g., wanting to be used as a fuck doll and sexually degraded because you have fears of not being a person that deserves and is worthy of love, and only having real value to people through sexuality. Other times it can be healthier, like using bondage and masochism to recontextualize experiences and sensations from sexual assault. The same things can be healthy or unhealthy, depending on the motive.

I think that "Sick: The Life and Death of Bob Flanagan, Supermasochist" is a pretty good movie to watch to see someone using masochism as a relatively healthy way of coping with cystic fibrosis.

I would say that, for me personally, I wouldn't want to engage in BDSM activities with a person that was using them as an unhealthy coping mechanism, because it could end up reinforcing a negative self-view and being harmful. (Is that paternalistic? Maybe. But everyone gets to decide what they're comfortable doing, and that's my comfort level.) For me, where I am now, this is part of negotiations and discussion that happens prior to doing anything.

I have a very good idea why I do what I do, although it's taken me some real self reflection to get there.

Shibari is normal for me. That's just my jam. Not into impact, blood, not super into choking, but can do it more-or-less safely if that's what my partner enjoys receiving. No shit or piss (technically squirting is mostly pee, but somehow that's okay). I like tying a partner up, blindfolding them, and then alternating between soft/erotic touch and riding crop/paddle/etc. Or tickling, but that's one is a bit risky, since I had a partner that nearly dislocated a shoulder straining at the ropes. Feet are meh, biting is okay, wax seems like a pain to clean up.

Had a partner that really wanted to be 'abducted' and 'raped'; never got around to it before we broke up. It would have been risky in a big city, but still...