It's true. When I posted this I was basically at that point, but it still took me a few months to pull the plug. I ended up leaving my partner of 5 years towards the end of 2023 and it was absolutely the right call. It's made my daily life more challenging in some respects, but the peace of mind that came from not needing to deliberate anymore was SO worth it.
I recently listened to Daisy Jones and the Six and the audiobook was incredible. The book was written as a series of interviews, which worked great as an audiobook. There were definitely times I got a bit distracted but it didn't impede my understanding too much. It does take a bit to absorb all the characters, so you'd probably want to listen uninterrupted for the first ~hour.
Killers of a Certain Age is another good one. Written about mature women assassins. It's a fun thriller and an easy listen.
Final rec is any of Ken Follett's Kingsbridge series as read by John Lee. They're long as hell, but straightforwardly told. There's something I just love about how John read them, too.
Blundstones. I live in a coastal city that's wet (but rarely snowy) the vast majority of the year. Having rain-resistant shoes that are comfortable AND durable has been a game changer.
And if I can mention a second: A proper, long raincoat. Combined with good shoes, I'm able to tolerate the weather here much better than when I'd first moved to this city and relied on sneakers + regular jackets.
I'm thinking of Jira right now. October 1 rolls around and a comment from yesterday is suddenly "last month". Very often not helpful. I just want to see when it was made!
One I haven't seen mentioned here is familiarize yourself with tenancy laws in the place you want to move to. It is always good to know your rights, and with landlords these days, you have to be as savvy as you can. A lot will come from experience, but knowing what they're allowed to do or not do is priceless.
Steel cut oats boiled with fruit, sweetened with maple syrup, and served with some type of dairy. I always use cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg, and ground ginger!
I have regular ole bipolar disorder but I find that I tend to have depressive mood episodes more often in the depths of winter, when it's darkest and coldest. Before I was medicated, I routinely blanked out basically from December to February.
Does anyone have recommendations on how to block ads on Android without rooting? I've tried AdAway but it doesn't seem to be terribly effective. I'm pretty tied into Chrome and would prefer not to change browsers but I understand I might have to.
It's sad that music UX is adopting these principles, tbh. Music is inherently a long(er) form experience. It deserves separate treatment. The last thing I personally want is for music apps to try to suck my attention as much as text- and video-based apps do. I know I'm fighting against the app economy headwinds in that desire, but I still dare to dream...
I definitely don't want to see how many people like a song I'm listening to or what they have to say about it. I want my music experience to be more personal. I will just go to normal YouTube if I want to discuss something.
Ugh, I still miss GPM so much. YTM is worse to me in just about every way.
I think it is worth discussing what "empathetic" means to both of you, as I get the impression that you have differing perspectives. For example, I noticed you said that you listen to her problems and try to find solutions. Some folks find that "problem-solving" behaviour invalidating rather than empathetic, while others actually prefer that approach. It is hard to know which camp your girlfriend falls into without having a frank discussion. I would also consider what behaviours or attitudes she would need to display for it to come across as empathetic to you. Maybe she also feels like she's appropriately listening, even though that's not been your experience. It is hard to pin these things down and have these discussions, but if you can manage it, it will greatly enhance your communication with each other.
Also: don't let it being a tough time become a reason to shelve your feelings. I say this as someone who did that for four years because my partner was always going through some hard time or another. All that bottling up has almost ruined my relationship, so don't be me. But do be tactful and sensitive. Ask her what she needs from you in this tough time, be willing to give what you can, and let her know you feel like you two have some communication issues and you want to be really clear on what's working well and what isn't in your relationship. Give her space to share her feelings, share your own, and then try your best to figure out how to approach the problems as a team.
If therapy is accessible to you and you can find a competent therapist who has a good approach for you, then consider making an appointment. It can be good to talk to a third party about your burnout and feelings of depression (which is what this low motivation sounds like to me). Your gf may not be able to give you the emotional nurturing and assurance that it sounds like you're seeking right now, but you can find tools and help elsewhere too.
Typically <10 minutes, but under <5 quite frequently. If I get woken up in the middle of the night or very early morning, good luck. I have such a hard time falling back asleep as I get older.
Card almost exclusively, but I keep small amounts of cash on hand just in case. Usually end up using it at farmer's market or maker mart type situations.
It's true. When I posted this I was basically at that point, but it still took me a few months to pull the plug. I ended up leaving my partner of 5 years towards the end of 2023 and it was absolutely the right call. It's made my daily life more challenging in some respects, but the peace of mind that came from not needing to deliberate anymore was SO worth it.
I recently listened to Daisy Jones and the Six and the audiobook was incredible. The book was written as a series of interviews, which worked great as an audiobook. There were definitely times I got a bit distracted but it didn't impede my understanding too much. It does take a bit to absorb all the characters, so you'd probably want to listen uninterrupted for the first ~hour.
Killers of a Certain Age is another good one. Written about mature women assassins. It's a fun thriller and an easy listen.
Final rec is any of Ken Follett's Kingsbridge series as read by John Lee. They're long as hell, but straightforwardly told. There's something I just love about how John read them, too.
Absolutely. Good shoes, a good rain jacket, and switching from glasses to contacts made a world of difference for me!
Blundstones. I live in a coastal city that's wet (but rarely snowy) the vast majority of the year. Having rain-resistant shoes that are comfortable AND durable has been a game changer.
And if I can mention a second: A proper, long raincoat. Combined with good shoes, I'm able to tolerate the weather here much better than when I'd first moved to this city and relied on sneakers + regular jackets.
I love to see this moment mentioned. It was so moving. Even thinking about it now, I have chills.
I'm thinking of Jira right now. October 1 rolls around and a comment from yesterday is suddenly "last month". Very often not helpful. I just want to see when it was made!
One I haven't seen mentioned here is familiarize yourself with tenancy laws in the place you want to move to. It is always good to know your rights, and with landlords these days, you have to be as savvy as you can. A lot will come from experience, but knowing what they're allowed to do or not do is priceless.
Steel cut oats boiled with fruit, sweetened with maple syrup, and served with some type of dairy. I always use cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg, and ground ginger!
Fruit is either:
Dairy is either:
I have regular ole bipolar disorder but I find that I tend to have depressive mood episodes more often in the depths of winter, when it's darkest and coldest. Before I was medicated, I routinely blanked out basically from December to February.
Does anyone have recommendations on how to block ads on Android without rooting? I've tried AdAway but it doesn't seem to be terribly effective. I'm pretty tied into Chrome and would prefer not to change browsers but I understand I might have to.
It's sad that music UX is adopting these principles, tbh. Music is inherently a long(er) form experience. It deserves separate treatment. The last thing I personally want is for music apps to try to suck my attention as much as text- and video-based apps do. I know I'm fighting against the app economy headwinds in that desire, but I still dare to dream...
I definitely don't want to see how many people like a song I'm listening to or what they have to say about it. I want my music experience to be more personal. I will just go to normal YouTube if I want to discuss something.
Ugh, I still miss GPM so much. YTM is worse to me in just about every way.
I have bipolar disorder lmao
I'm learning that second point right now and it is tough.
cries in SaaS
Lol I say that first one to my cat too!
I think it is worth discussing what "empathetic" means to both of you, as I get the impression that you have differing perspectives. For example, I noticed you said that you listen to her problems and try to find solutions. Some folks find that "problem-solving" behaviour invalidating rather than empathetic, while others actually prefer that approach. It is hard to know which camp your girlfriend falls into without having a frank discussion. I would also consider what behaviours or attitudes she would need to display for it to come across as empathetic to you. Maybe she also feels like she's appropriately listening, even though that's not been your experience. It is hard to pin these things down and have these discussions, but if you can manage it, it will greatly enhance your communication with each other.
Also: don't let it being a tough time become a reason to shelve your feelings. I say this as someone who did that for four years because my partner was always going through some hard time or another. All that bottling up has almost ruined my relationship, so don't be me. But do be tactful and sensitive. Ask her what she needs from you in this tough time, be willing to give what you can, and let her know you feel like you two have some communication issues and you want to be really clear on what's working well and what isn't in your relationship. Give her space to share her feelings, share your own, and then try your best to figure out how to approach the problems as a team.
If therapy is accessible to you and you can find a competent therapist who has a good approach for you, then consider making an appointment. It can be good to talk to a third party about your burnout and feelings of depression (which is what this low motivation sounds like to me). Your gf may not be able to give you the emotional nurturing and assurance that it sounds like you're seeking right now, but you can find tools and help elsewhere too.
Good luck!!
Typically <10 minutes, but under <5 quite frequently. If I get woken up in the middle of the night or very early morning, good luck. I have such a hard time falling back asleep as I get older.
Card almost exclusively, but I keep small amounts of cash on hand just in case. Usually end up using it at farmer's market or maker mart type situations.