idkwhatimdoing

u/idkwhatimdoing@sh.itjust.works
4 posts · 200 comments

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on it's friend shaped! · c/science_memes · 69 pts · 284d

Cheetahs are not actually dangerous to humans. Their skulls/jaws are pretty small and they are slender to be aerodynamic, and they need to be uninjured to hunt, so they avoid confrontation at all costs, especially with something the size of a human.

on You're not a lot · c/Memes · 2 pts · 285d

Lol I thought you were calling me "my friend" and saying I missed the joke. Now I realize that, my friend, I didn't understand that comment haha

on You're not a lot · c/Memes · 8 pts · 285d

Mariah thinks you're not a lot. Shania thinks Brad Pitt don't impress her much. Idk, seemed similar enough to me...

on You're not a lot · c/Memes · 8 pts · 285d

She feels similarly about you as Shania Twain famously does regarding Brad Pitt

Give it another month or three, I'd say, since there are too many variables at play to know what might be the issue, and chemistry can totally improve between people, especially if any lack of it at the beginning could be due to not having yet had the time to get fully comfortable with one another.

Definitely don't force yourself into a lifelong relationship that feels wrong. But don't assume that a lifelong relationship feels 100% perfect off the bat, either. For all you know, your partner has an amazing but off-kilter or dark sense of humor, and it hasn't come out fully because it's still early days. Or she's got the absolute best vibes for just chilling around the house with, or finding fun new things or whatever, but everything feels a little formal and stilted right now because it's the intro phase of the relationship. (16 years into my relationship with my wife and perfect partner, it's often hard to remember that it also started with the standard, awkward getting to know each other and stressful first dates etc.)

And maybe you come to change a little bit too, and as you get a more complete picture of this person as a partner, you come to value her differences from others as positive.

That's obviously the ideal and not an uncommon path for a relationship to take, but you also can't force it to be the case. I have seen people stay together because it makes sense on paper, and years later realize they just don't enjoy having conversations together because their communication styles/paradigms are so different. And in that case, it was sort of obvious to everyone that they had lacked chemistry the whole time. They were each very nice, but neither seemed completely natural with the other, which was always awkward for everyone else lol.

I'd try to approach the next months with the optimism that this is going to evolve into a truly fulfilling relationship, and do what it would take to get there. If you're not 100% in on that, then you'll only continue to feel doubt. But, if after a while the evidence continues to point the other way, have the confidence that you both deserve and can find someone you'll feel at ease and in love with. There's no right age for it, and no one deserves any less.

If you're attracted to one race above others, it demonstrates that you consider that race notably different from others, and you're attracted to the things that make them different from you/your own race specifically. You might consider your own attraction a positive thing for members of that race, and you may be respectful in pursuing partners, but the fact that you've latched onto race as an element of your attraction is a classic form of exoticism. If you more deeply inspect why you feel that way, you'll find assumptions or considerations about that race that are either cultural generalizations ("I like that they are X way or that they value Y") or that they are objectifying ("I just think X type of woman is more attractive"). Both are problematic to have so central to how someone thinks about a race of people or an individual partner.

Exoticizing is a form of fetishizing, which doesn't have to be sexual, and is frequently seen in how other cultures are so often portrayed as more mysterious or intriguing in classical art or movies. The emphasis placed on how "other" someone is, in both cases, is a fetishization.