That's in the nearest city, a 90 minute commute. And if it's a weekday, I work noon to 20:00 because of remote work timezone offsets. So in-person means I need to move and also get a new job
I don't know if you need to hear this from an outside source, but...
Your worth as a person isn't based on your job! You have been a beacon of light here and a huge help to people like me looking for examples of joy in the cruel world. I'm glad you're here doing what you do, and being you. Jobs come and go (and that sucks!) but you're more than just a contribution to capitalism. 🫂
Transition is what you make of it. I'm not transmedicalist, and if you tell me you're trans, then you're trans. Social transition (clothes, makeup, voice, name, pronouns) is whatever you want to spend on it. Be yourself no matter what!
Medical transition costs depend on where you are, though. In the US, insurance coverage just became a minefield. I had coverage, and now I won't because of federal government changes to policies. HRT wasn't expensive but it wasn't cheap. Doctor visits, blood work, and medications. Estradiol pills are cheap, but then you need a testosterone blocker, which is less so. Injection mono therapy is a little more expensive, but then you don't need the blocker and it's a way longer schedule.
Surgeries are a whole different world, though, and I hope others can chime in on that. I am not far along on my journey to have any yet. You may not even need all or any, depending on age, genetics, and your comfort level with your identity. Not everyone is binary, and your self image might "resolve" into clarity further into transition.
You can do it, though. I spoke with a 70 year old woman last week who started in her 60s. She looks and sounds amazing and more importantly she loves herself. All that matters is that you love who you are!
Hey, I'm 40. I'm a trans woman who was in the closet for 11 years, and started HRT in March this year. I will probably never pass, either.
That's irrelevant. For me, and for you.
Be yourself. You have to be you, because otherwise you are eventually going to break under the strain of trying to be someone you aren't. I almost broke, and I almost stopped existing at all because of it.
Being you doesn't mean that everyone will accept you. It doesn't mean you will become a cis-passing stealth supermodel. It doesn't mean anything gets easier, except maybe for accepting yourself.
The last gate to coming out at work has now opened, and that means I stop using the masc voice and deadname starting this week! I am so looking forward to that!
In other news, I have spent a lot of time lately helping people having panic attacks (and needed that help, myself, once). Mental health is a struggle that doesn't just disappear. Check on those you care about, because they may be suffering in silence.
I actually used Willow for a few months when I started my transition. I had my reasons, and they were true to me. The name didn't fit in the end, but I wore willow tree earrings to my court date when I got my current name! She's part of me, and always will be.
I had a fantastic weekend that set me up for some of the best experiences of my transition!
My spouse and I went to the shore for a day to do our annual "salt water reset". They like to dip toes into the ocean once a year to feel right again. This year, I felt the same feeling. We walked along the beach hand in hand and just enjoyed the day and gorgeous weather!
That evening, we meet good friends that we only see once a year. I had come out via messages earlier. My friend told me he practiced my new name before meeting us at dinner! We discussed how a colleague of our friend had asked for her help coming out as trans at work, and how genuinely supportive she was for this person. When I explained my reasoning for transitioning (involves bad ideation, not discussing here), my spouse said they saw one of my friends wiping away tears. I am so lucky and so happy to have wonderful people to call friends!
I even managed to use the women's restroom on my own without freaking out or trying to hold it until hiring like I usually do.
Today, we went shopping and I spent almost two hours trying on outfits. My spouse took me into the ladies' fitting rooms and got one right next to me so we could chat about the clothes. I came out of that store with an entire winter-appropriate collection, which means I am good for all seasons and have finally emptied my closet of all the male clothing. It feels good to just be me, fully.
Trans joy is possible! I didn't think so 6 months ago, but I have a completely different outlook now 🏳️⚧️ 💖🌹
Spouse and I threw a small dinner party for the friends I'm out to but haven't seen yet. They're all a class act! Everyone walked in and had a fun evening without even bringing up the fact that I neither look nor sound the way I used to. We had an amazing meal with SO MUCH PIE. I ran 10 miles today just to try to burn off the pie. Well, also to train for a half marathon soon, but mostly because of pie.
I am no-contact with family and hated my given name, so I didn't have the option of most of the suggestions here.
I went through a list of names common in my age group and birth area and stripped out the ones I didn't want for initials. Then I bounced them off my spouse until we got a short list. I asked those who knew I was out to use them, and put them in as my preferred name for appointments.
It turns out all that work was pointless. We had a random night where we were doing something completely unrelated and my spouse said something that I misheard as my new name and it just stuck! Now my legal paperwork is done and I am just waiting for the courts to finish their side of it.
It's possible that The Satanic Temple could add it to their "rituals" list like they did for abortions, but it's all irrelevant. This should be illegal already as it discriminates against several protected classes, but here we are. It would take a federal court ruling to block this, but those are also already being ignored right now in other cases.
For anyone (like me) who relies on these plans, look into exceptions if they apply to you, or better yet, look for an alternative plan. I'm not confident that the current political climate is likely to overrule this EO, or that it would even matter if anyone did. Since healthcare in the US is based on annual enrollment periods, it would be prudent to have an alternative lined up.
50/50 with butter on toast with a cup of black coffee. It's great this way, especially if you get the butter on first to let it melt on the toast while you wrestle the Vegemite out.
Thank you for giving me the courage to go be myself. I am sitting in a cafe in a nearby city sipping coffee with my bracelets and earrings, and a transgender pride flag shirt on. It's frightening! It's also liberating.
Una Chin Riley, or "Number One" from Star Trek: Strange New Worlds
You never would have guessed, right?
P.S. block-heeled boots are awesome 😎
That's in the nearest city, a 90 minute commute. And if it's a weekday, I work noon to 20:00 because of remote work timezone offsets. So in-person means I need to move and also get a new job
You're having meetups? SMDH someone forgot to give me the calendar invite that was supposed to be packaged with my HRT
I don't know if you need to hear this from an outside source, but...
Your worth as a person isn't based on your job! You have been a beacon of light here and a huge help to people like me looking for examples of joy in the cruel world. I'm glad you're here doing what you do, and being you. Jobs come and go (and that sucks!) but you're more than just a contribution to capitalism. 🫂
As a trans girl who lives in the middle of nowhere: help, I need to be near people and not cows. Mooooooo
Transition is what you make of it. I'm not transmedicalist, and if you tell me you're trans, then you're trans. Social transition (clothes, makeup, voice, name, pronouns) is whatever you want to spend on it. Be yourself no matter what!
Medical transition costs depend on where you are, though. In the US, insurance coverage just became a minefield. I had coverage, and now I won't because of federal government changes to policies. HRT wasn't expensive but it wasn't cheap. Doctor visits, blood work, and medications. Estradiol pills are cheap, but then you need a testosterone blocker, which is less so. Injection mono therapy is a little more expensive, but then you don't need the blocker and it's a way longer schedule.
Surgeries are a whole different world, though, and I hope others can chime in on that. I am not far along on my journey to have any yet. You may not even need all or any, depending on age, genetics, and your comfort level with your identity. Not everyone is binary, and your self image might "resolve" into clarity further into transition.
You can do it, though. I spoke with a 70 year old woman last week who started in her 60s. She looks and sounds amazing and more importantly she loves herself. All that matters is that you love who you are!
Hey, I'm 40. I'm a trans woman who was in the closet for 11 years, and started HRT in March this year. I will probably never pass, either.
That's irrelevant. For me, and for you. Be yourself. You have to be you, because otherwise you are eventually going to break under the strain of trying to be someone you aren't. I almost broke, and I almost stopped existing at all because of it.
Being you doesn't mean that everyone will accept you. It doesn't mean you will become a cis-passing stealth supermodel. It doesn't mean anything gets easier, except maybe for accepting yourself.
You're not alone, and you absolutely can do this.
The last gate to coming out at work has now opened, and that means I stop using the masc voice and deadname starting this week! I am so looking forward to that!
In other news, I have spent a lot of time lately helping people having panic attacks (and needed that help, myself, once). Mental health is a struggle that doesn't just disappear. Check on those you care about, because they may be suffering in silence.
I actually used Willow for a few months when I started my transition. I had my reasons, and they were true to me. The name didn't fit in the end, but I wore willow tree earrings to my court date when I got my current name! She's part of me, and always will be.
Just change it to [object Object]
I had a fantastic weekend that set me up for some of the best experiences of my transition!
My spouse and I went to the shore for a day to do our annual "salt water reset". They like to dip toes into the ocean once a year to feel right again. This year, I felt the same feeling. We walked along the beach hand in hand and just enjoyed the day and gorgeous weather!
That evening, we meet good friends that we only see once a year. I had come out via messages earlier. My friend told me he practiced my new name before meeting us at dinner! We discussed how a colleague of our friend had asked for her help coming out as trans at work, and how genuinely supportive she was for this person. When I explained my reasoning for transitioning (involves bad ideation, not discussing here), my spouse said they saw one of my friends wiping away tears. I am so lucky and so happy to have wonderful people to call friends! I even managed to use the women's restroom on my own without freaking out or trying to hold it until hiring like I usually do.
Today, we went shopping and I spent almost two hours trying on outfits. My spouse took me into the ladies' fitting rooms and got one right next to me so we could chat about the clothes. I came out of that store with an entire winter-appropriate collection, which means I am good for all seasons and have finally emptied my closet of all the male clothing. It feels good to just be me, fully.
Trans joy is possible! I didn't think so 6 months ago, but I have a completely different outlook now 🏳️⚧️ 💖🌹
So happy for you! 💖
Spouse and I threw a small dinner party for the friends I'm out to but haven't seen yet. They're all a class act! Everyone walked in and had a fun evening without even bringing up the fact that I neither look nor sound the way I used to. We had an amazing meal with SO MUCH PIE. I ran 10 miles today just to try to burn off the pie. Well, also to train for a half marathon soon, but mostly because of pie.
After this weekend's festivities, I've done the same!
Hail fellow middle-name-is-Elizabeth-haver!
I am no-contact with family and hated my given name, so I didn't have the option of most of the suggestions here.
I went through a list of names common in my age group and birth area and stripped out the ones I didn't want for initials. Then I bounced them off my spouse until we got a short list. I asked those who knew I was out to use them, and put them in as my preferred name for appointments.
It turns out all that work was pointless. We had a random night where we were doing something completely unrelated and my spouse said something that I misheard as my new name and it just stuck! Now my legal paperwork is done and I am just waiting for the courts to finish their side of it.
It's possible that The Satanic Temple could add it to their "rituals" list like they did for abortions, but it's all irrelevant. This should be illegal already as it discriminates against several protected classes, but here we are. It would take a federal court ruling to block this, but those are also already being ignored right now in other cases.
For anyone (like me) who relies on these plans, look into exceptions if they apply to you, or better yet, look for an alternative plan. I'm not confident that the current political climate is likely to overrule this EO, or that it would even matter if anyone did. Since healthcare in the US is based on annual enrollment periods, it would be prudent to have an alternative lined up.
50/50 with butter on toast with a cup of black coffee. It's great this way, especially if you get the butter on first to let it melt on the toast while you wrestle the Vegemite out.
Thank you for giving me the courage to go be myself. I am sitting in a cafe in a nearby city sipping coffee with my bracelets and earrings, and a transgender pride flag shirt on. It's frightening! It's also liberating.