throwawaysalami

It's as Jax put it. I didn't phrase it very clearly. I meant I usually tell them I don't want anything serious when I feel like they show romantic/sexual interest in me.

Why not just use Tinder for hookups?

Can you have a guess?

If I’m interpreting what you’re saying correctly, ‘get serious’ was just used to mean ‘the sexy time is about to happen’ , no?

Yeah, this is 100% what I meant, when sexy time is about to happen. It would be pretty bad if the relationship got serious and then tell them you're just in it for the sex. 😅

Sort these sentences out for yourself.

You can like someone whilst still only wanting one thing to do with them. I guess it's about how much you value friendship in general.

Have you considered you do have interest in friendship and that’s intimidating?

Well I don't have interest in friendship because it would feel like a drag.

Not sure if you’re serious - but thank you, if you are.

I honestly am, I appreciate well written English.

If you’re ‘reserved’ and plan on telling them before you have sex with them, ok - I can acknowledge that that isn’t cowardly.

Yes, I do always tell them before hand. But usually I wait for that until things start to get serious. However I'll probably have to tell her sooner rather than later.

Edit: What I mean by 'get serious', is the initial sign of her showing sexual interest back.

No. No the only reason it would be difficult is because you aren’t upfront about it. Cowardly behavior to service a vice.

Well, one may view reservation as cowardice. The other may view it as sensible. Given how it's at odds with looking like a creep.

Cowardly behavior to service a vice.

By the by, this sentence is brilliant, very nice turn of phrase. I'm keeping this one.

No, it is not. I have never cajoled nor coaxed her to do anything. I never vowed for any long term relationship, platonic or otherwise. I simply have amicable talks with her in the hopes it might kindle a spark. And clearly it has not, so I'm moving on.

I asked her about her day, she told me it wasn't going so well. I asked why, she replied it had to do with stress. So I followed up with whether she struggled with that often. And then she spilled her beans.

I mean, you gotta make bread somehow... This is the only way I know how. I show interest in the person and see if they like me back. If they don't, I leave it at that. I will concur it might be difficult for the other party to distinguish my intentions.

But I will be honest with her. I will encourage her to seek help and tell her how I feel about us.

I'm good at talking to people. I basically talk with whomever, whensoever I feel like it. So yes I actually have people in my life I don't even like but they like me back.

You open this post saying you like her, you carry on showing us your concerns, but at the end you’re in just for sex- this is confusing.

I mean, she is nice and normally I'd strike up a conversation when I see her (but I'm going to stop doing that). But just because I'm only interested in having sex with her doesn't mean I only view her in an object sort of way. I'm not saying you were implying this specifically, btw. But I hope this helps clear it up a little.

If I were in your shoes, I’d encourage her to get professional help, and I’d run away.

I am probably going to do this.

This particular response shows more human emotion that your formaliser ever could (at least as of now).

I get that it's not my responsibility to make her happy. But isn't there like a soft way of telling her I'm letting this ship sail on without me?

and my AI formaliser helped me to be more passionate

It actually very much did the opposite. Because now there is no actual passion behind it. None, whatsoever.

Fuck you very much, ChatGPT.

I mean, I'll take what I can get (short term, long term). As I said I have never had any sort of relationship to speak of so I wouldn't really know. But casual sex would be best for me as things are now.

Sorta, I don't really care that much for the relationship part. I mean, if I like the girl and she wants to make it official I'll play ball, ya know.

but it’s a place to start building a framework for understanding.

It sure is! Thank you, this is honestly very helpful and intuitive! They way I got confused by the last comment was because I was like: "But I'm already talking friendly with them, that's like the one thing I'm good at."

but then what is your actual challenge here?

I don't know, that's a good question. How to convey that to the other person, I guess?

Okay, clearly you're at the end of your rope here. And I thank you for sticking around for as long as you could.

What about if you don't want anything too serious?