If your toilet was sentient, would you rather that it begged *for* your poop, or that it begged you to *not* poop in it?

44 points · 30 comments · view on lemmy.world

30 Comments

mozz@mbin.grits.dev · 66 pts · 2y (1 reply)

I would poop in a different toilet

calabast@lemm.ee · 7 pts · 2y

But then how do you poop if no one is begging? Uhh, asking for a friend.

wesker@lemmy.sdf.org · 36 pts · 2y

For, because I'm about consent.

pupbiru@aussie.zone · 20 pts · 2y (1 reply)

if you can do something in your every day life to make someone happy, who cares if it’s weird? live life; we’re all weird; just make people happy and be happy in return

z00s@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 2y

This is the best answer

multifariace@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 2y

Can we then give it a tongue so I can be sure I'm clean?

vortexal@lemmy.ml · 15 pts · 2y

Would it lick me clean or would I still have to wipe myself?

TheAlbatross@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 13 pts · 2y
[ removed ]
shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee · 13 pts · 2y

I would like it to be happy, so have it beg.

HubertManne@kbin.social · 9 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Neither. I want it to be honored to accept my waste and happy to serve.

MadBob@feddit.nl · 5 pts · 2y

"Well, it's a living!"

Dirk@lemmy.ml · 8 pts · 2y

"Stop shitting on your hand and throw it out the window! Use me instead!"

Silentiea@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 7 pts · 2y (2 replies)

See, this is why I hate "would you rather...?"

Why can't it just be content with the amount I feed it, why's it have to be starving to the degree that it begs?

z00s@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 2y (1 reply)

It's not begging out of hunger, it's begging out of desire

Num10ck@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

feeeeed me seymour!

tobogganablaze@lemmus.org · 7 pts · 2y (1 reply)

I don't think it matters. After a few weeks it would just be some annoying background noise you ignore anyway.

TheButtonJustSpins@infosec.pub · 1 pts · 2y

No? I would move.

_haha_oh_wow_@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 2y

If my toilet was sentient, I would set it free and get a normal toilet again.

CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org · 6 pts · 2y

I'm pretty sure I answered this on Reddit once. Begged for it, assuming I have to use such a toilet and cannot just go back to a pit latrine (I've heard great things about tiger worms). Answering the other way would be cruel.

SeaJ@lemm.ee · 6 pts · 2y (3 replies)
zod000@lemmy.ml · 2 pts · 2y (1 reply)

More like this I think.

PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocks · 1 pts · 2y

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PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocks · 1 pts · 2y

Here is an alternative Piped link(s):

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itsgroundhogdayagain@lemmy.ml · 4 pts · 2y (2 replies)

I always think about opening up this guys head and pooping in it.

CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org · 1 pts · 2y (1 reply)

Like in the SNL sketch?

itsgroundhogdayagain@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 2y

Thats not quite how I pictured it.

valen@lemmings.world · 3 pts · 2y

I can use all the encouragement I can get.

Carighan@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y

Yes.

prostetnic_jeltz@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y

Sentient does not necessarily mean able to speak or move. How and why should I notice that it is sentient?

ivanafterall@kbin.social · 0 pts · 2y (1 reply)

I would like it to criticize me for needing to do it, at all.

CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org · 1 pts · 2y

"Why do you always take so long in the bathroom?"

"I have to argue with the toilet about conservation of mass."