I saw that there reports he didn't fuck a couch, then someone shared an interview where he said he did... Did Republicans even try to dig shit on this guy?!?!
I'll have you know I find Wet Ass Cushion to be incredibly offensive. I've interacted with many of them in my day and never have I met a cushion that wasn't artificially wet. The couch orgasm is a myth.
Back in my day, that would have been impossible without some kind of penile injury as you probably would have needed to slam that thang pretty good on every key. People now-a-days are spoiled because their keyboards are so sensitive. You could even sneeze and type something from a microphone type writer.
I don't use twitter so can't verify, but here is the apparent post people are making fun of him over. The claim is that the words "woman" and "dolphin" being bolded are signs that he searched for those terms.
59 Comments
Jakdracula@lemmy.world · 68 pts · 2y
homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 2y
Checkmate!
jaybone@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 2y
Put it by the deli counter for the trifecta.
cabron_offsets@lemmy.world · 57 pts · 2y
OttoVonNoob@lemmy.ca · 14 pts · 2y
I saw that there reports he didn't fuck a couch, then someone shared an interview where he said he did... Did Republicans even try to dig shit on this guy?!?!
paddirn@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 2y
They had to retract that report, because they could not verify that he’s not a sectional predator.
GlitchyDigiBun@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 2y
He's a disgusting pillowphile!
a_wild_mimic_appears@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 1 pts · 2y
Oh no, if he and the MyPillow guy meet there will be a reckoning
ChronosTriggerWarning@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y
I heard him referred to as a homosectional, and i like to think Kamala approved that message.
homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y
Where’s that interview??
omega_x3@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y
He didn't fuck the couch, to completion
bitwaba@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y
Of course the couch didn't cum, it's a fucking couch. What's wrong with you people?!
akakunai@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 2y
I hate to be the one to tell you this, but maybe it's just you who can't bring the couch to completion...?
bitwaba@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y
I'll have you know I find Wet Ass Cushion to be incredibly offensive. I've interacted with many of them in my day and never have I met a cushion that wasn't artificially wet. The couch orgasm is a myth.
EmpathicVagrant@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y
Waaaaaait there’s video of this? Also, what’s all this about potato salad‽
OttoVonNoob@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 2y
Found out it was faked after but still have the searching dolphin porn to lean on xD
ccunning@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 2y
“If this gonna be that kinda party, imma stick my dick in the mashed potatoes”
100_kg_90_de_belin@feddit.it · 6 pts · 2y
Those potatoes weren't mashed when someone put them on the table.
cabron_offsets@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 2y
jaybone@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y
sample was originally from Sanford and son?
AlligatorBlizzard@sh.itjust.works · 6 pts · 2y
Okay what's the potato salad thing?
linearchaos@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 2y
I read his book. It read about like he just shoved his dick in a typewriter and flopped it around for a few hundred pages.
werefreeatlast@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 2y
Back in my day, that would have been impossible without some kind of penile injury as you probably would have needed to slam that thang pretty good on every key. People now-a-days are spoiled because their keyboards are so sensitive. You could even sneeze and type something from a microphone type writer.
ChronosTriggerWarning@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 2y
He's just an ambulatory version of the "Instructions Unclear" meme.
myster0n@feddit.nl · 51 pts · 2y
I thought you said JD was dead? No, I said he sleeps with the fishes
UNY0N@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y
He did it on porpoise.
Nastybutler@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 2y
Well he does give off The Deep vibes
peopleproblems@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 2y
More like he gives off Tek-knight vibes.
He'll fuck anything with a hole, like a couch.
LodeMike@lemmy.today · 19 pts · 2y
Is this one real?
ImplyingImplications@lemmy.ca · 51 pts · 2y
I don't use twitter so can't verify, but here is the apparent post people are making fun of him over. The claim is that the words "woman" and "dolphin" being bolded are signs that he searched for those terms.
LodeMike@lemmy.today · 17 pts · 2y
Hmmmmm. That's uh... Sure I'll take it.
OttoVonNoob@lemmy.ca · 10 pts · 2y
https://www.alternet.org/news-politics/vance-dolphins/
Yes
RamblingPanda@lemmynsfw.com · 10 pts · 2y
If yes, would it make him more relatable or even more disgusting?
And would you be surprised if it were real?
LodeMike@lemmy.today · 6 pts · 2y
No
EmpathicVagrant@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y
Ah, the elusive inclusive no.
BenFranklinsDick@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 2y
Being tricked into downloading 6 gigs of dolphin porn still remains one of my favorite 4chan pranks.
Nobody@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 2y
What happens behind closed doors between a man, a dolphin, a couch, several firearms, and a copy of Mein Kampf is personal and private.
Gay people? Oh no, that’s not a thing. Maybe if men had the smooth, supple feel of Corinthian leather, I would understand.
lemmyman@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 2y
Does nobody remember dolphinsex.org?
synae@lemmy.sdf.org · 11 pts · 2y
The people behind that aren't running for VP
Unless... Did he run that site?
atomicorange@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 2y
Yes, I know for a fact that he ran that site. Tell your friends.
SuckMyWang@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 2y
Holy shit! That’s crazy, I will.
wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 2y
What
homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 2y
It was a thing
EmpathicVagrant@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y
Ol’ Jamie V does, it seems.
CitizenKong@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 2y
Damn, he's the real world version of The Deep.
No_Eponym@lemmy.ca · 7 pts · 2y
dohpaz42@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 2y
Print photos of different couches and mail them to any or all of these locations:
https://www.vance.senate.gov/office-locations/
Don’t forget to add little love notes. e.g., “Thinking of you 💋”
Mrkawfee@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 2y
Going Deeper
SuckMyWang@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 2y
I heard that he allegedly ran the website dolphinsex.org for a short while.
some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org · 6 pts · 2y
Hi! I'm Troy Mclure. Wow, this one really takes me back.
Draegur@lemm.ee · 4 pts · 2y
Shady Vance just keeps getting shadier.
slurpeesoforion@startrek.website · 4 pts · 2y
What are the odds Trump chose Vance because his initials are Trump's backwards?
Arbiter@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 2y
But his initials aren’t trumps backwards..?
MajesticSloth@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 2y
Letters are hard.
rooster_butt@lemm.ee · 6 pts · 2y
DJ vs JD. Just first and middle, no last.
So_zetta_slowpoke@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 2y
I'm pretty sure it's so he can play it off when he says Pence instead of Vance
theangryseal@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y
This was my theory, sort of.
werefreeatlast@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 2y
Sometimes a bottle nosed dolphin is just a bottle nosed dolphin. Sometimes it's a big gray dildo fish.
OopsAllTwix@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 2y
cOuCh fUcKeR
Leate_Wonceslace@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 2y
Is he sabotaging Trump on purpose? Is JD Vance running the best psy-op in human history?
Almost certainly not, but the conjecture fits the data shockingly well.
MedicPigBabySaver@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 2y
Poor JD, his grandma really did hate him for being a burdensome piece of shit.