Toddler Lawyer

542 points · 29 comments · view on lemmy.world

29 Comments

sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip · 54 pts · 1y (2 replies)

Defense Councel:

Objection, lacks foundation, irrelevant line of questions, this line of questioning will soon call for speculation.

Judge: Sustained.

Prosecutory Counsel: Why?

Judge: Don't make me hold you in contempt Mr. Toddler.

Klear@lemmy.world · 10 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Why?

sp3tr4l@lemmy.zip · 2 pts · 1y

Bailiff, escort Mr. Toddler out, muzzle him if necessary.

ininewcrow@lemmy.ca · 39 pts · 1y (2 replies)

Why?

Hupf@feddit.org · 12 pts · 1y

Bach37strad@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1y

Something something mitochondria

palordrolap@fedia.io · 33 pts · 1y (5 replies)

"I don't know"

"why"

"because it is not possible to know everything"

"why"

(infinite loop until toddler needs nap.)

skulblaka@sh.itjust.works · 24 pts · 1y (2 replies)

"Look kid, you've pretty much reached philosophical bedrock here and you're going to need better questions to get better answers. Now go the fuck to sleep."

Entropywins@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 1y (1 reply)

Why?

thebestaquaman@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1y

See answer N-1.

niktemadur@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 1y

(infinite loop until toddler needs nap.)

"The prosecution rests, Your Honor."

Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1y

Pssshhhh, more like until I take a nap.

rockSlayer@lemmy.world · 25 pts · 1y (2 replies)

I was this way, and then being an undiagnosed autistic 3yo plus 1 too many mild chastisings from my parents made me shy from talking for years. Engage them with a thought provoking flip of the question. "Why do you think food gives us energy?"

Entropywins@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 1y

A quick thought-provoking because is all I got.

toynbee@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1y

I don't think you're allowed to do that in court, though.

RoquetteQueen@sh.itjust.works · 22 pts · 1y (10 replies)

Somehow my children skipped this phase

fahfahfahfah@lemmy.billiam.net · 13 pts · 1y (6 replies)

Yeah none of mine ever did this except MAYBE once or twice after toddlerhood, specifically to annoy me because they knew it was a thing

chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1y (5 replies)

I was definitely this kid. My mom still teases me about it.

Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1y (4 replies)

Plot twist, you're 36.

chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1y (3 replies)

I'm 42...

Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1y

Yatzee!

SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1y (1 reply)

The answer to life the universe and everything

chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1y

Yeah, I could tell you, but you won't like what you hear.

Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1y

Why?

HatFullOfSky@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1y

My oldest never hit this, but the younger one who is currently 3 basically matches this comic exactly

someguy3@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 1y

More entertainment up options now.

stupidcasey@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 1y

Isn’t he so cute and itty-bitty in that over sized coat just makes you wanna prosecute whoever he says.

fox2263@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1y

I often think I should offer the services of my toddler out for terrorist interrogations.

racketlauncher831@lemmy.ml · 1 pts · 1y

Why what?