I’m ready to go to bed but it’s currently illegal to move, open to suggestions.

Try en passant

Sleeping on the couch with a fur blanket is always a viable option.

Just doze off if you've already brushed your teeth

Get an accomplice to open a can of tuna.

Learn to throw your voice until you can “pspsps” from down the hall.

Succumb.

This is your life now.

Soooo cute

Defenestration