2020: The British press lied so much about the EU they decided to archive them all

...and that Britain would be forced to get rid of pints, acres, inches, feet and pounds in favour of metric measurements.

Don't threaten me with a good time. Maybe keep the pint for beer and wine purposes.

Some real doozies in there. I had to get selective here and eventually stop there were so many outright lies. They really had it in for the EU.

Alcohol sales – EU ‘bans boozing’, Feb 2005

Baby rattles – EC to ban noisy toys, Jan 1996

Bagpipes – EU safety directives to ban playgrounds, trapeze artists and bagpipes, Aug 2005

Playgrounds? Lol!

Balloons – EU bans children from blowing up balloons, Oct 2011

Chinese toys – Chinese toy imports are to be banned unless humanlike in form, Jul 1994

Clothing, zips – EU plans to ban zipper trousers, May 1999

Cod – Cod no longer to be called cod thanks to EU, Sep 2001

And on and on and on....It's some list!

The sad thing is that politicians in Britain have been using the EU as a distraction and a scapegoat for decades. Brexit was the price of that stupidity.

"The EU" was to british conservatives what "woke" and "DEI" are for Trumpists. A scapegoat on which you could blame everything that didn't work exactly like they would

• Queen to be forced to get her own tea, Feb 1999
• British rhubarb must be straight, Jun 1996
• Speed limits to be enforced on children’s roundabouts, Oct 2004
• EU bans wooden oars for stirring the Christmas Pudding, Nov 1992
• EU asks women about their sex lives, Nov 2007
• Scores of foreign boats to invade Essex coast, Nov 1992
• Shellfish must be given rest breaks whilst on journeys, Jan 1996
• High up” signs to be put on mountains, Mar 2004
• Euro notes responsible for impotency, Mar 2002
• Strawberries must be oval, Mar 1998
• European secondary school pupils to spend a “free” year abroad, Apr 1993
• EU health directive to prevent barmaids from showing cleavage, Nov 2005
• Now Brussels make bright smiles illegal, Feb 2003
• Tractors to be banned from soggy fields, Jan 2005
• EU officials banned from flying Ryanair, Mar 2012
• British power over VAT rates to be abolished, Mar 2000
• Copyright Tax to be levied on all home VCR recordings, Mar 2000
• EU gives £1m to train Italian TV presenter “bimbos”, Jul 2003
• EU may force UK to give criminals vote, Feb 2006
• EU rules blamed for vulture attacks on farm livestock, Aug 2007
• Excavated earth to become waste, Mar 1995
• Feeding swans and homeless people to require licence, Feb 1994
• Delicacies must be sold in quantities over one and a quarter pounds, Feb 1995
• Scotch whisky must be handled as a dangerous chemical, Nov 1995
• Bosses to be told what carpet to buy, Jan 2004
• Self-employed home-workers must equip their houses with fire doors, Jun 1993
• EU bans lorry drivers’ British breakfast, Sep 2001
• 58 hour working week will ground hospitals to a halt, Aug 2004
• Noise regulations to require club, pub and football goers to wear earplugs, Mar 2002
• UK screens being flooded by pornography as a result of new EC directive, Jan 1993
• EU to fund the Labour and LibDems but not the Conservatives, Jan 2000
• EU wants to ban sale of British plants, Sep 2013
• EU to regulate pizza sizes, Oct 1994
• Farmers forced to issue pigs with toys, Jan 2003
• Dead pets must be pressure cooked before burial, Mar 2000
• Commission to outlaw mushy peas, Aug 1995
• Eurocrats to ban small fruits, Jul 2001
• Fresh pasta banned, Apr 2002
• Her Majesty to be removed from UK passports, Sep 2007
• EU wants to ban Union flag from British meat packs, Sep 2013
• EC regulations forbid the carrying of British passengers, Nov 1992
• Organic farmers ordered by EU to use homeopathic medicine, Apr 2015
• Politically correct Eurocrats say Santa must be a woman, Oct 2001
• Soya milk indistinguishable from cow milk and thus to be banned, April 1995
• Euro meddlers rule we can’t have milk jugs, Feb 2010
• Brussels drive to rob us of British identity, June 2010
• Rare meat to be banned due to “too much bacteria”, Sep 1993
• Bureaucrats declare Britain is “not an island”, Jan 2003
• Kent now part of France, Sep 2006
• No EU plans to abolish Britain!, Apr 2008
• EU steps up recycling targets to eliminate landfills, July 2014
• Kilts to be classified as women’s wear, Nov 2003
• EU responsible for your hay fever, May 2015
• Gin to be sold in round bottles for the Single Market, Oct 1993
• Quality standards ban curved cucumbers and certain apples, Jun 1993
• Home-made cakes must be labelled with all ingredients, Jul 2004
• EU to blame for floods, Jan 2016
• Condom dimensions to be harmonised, Mar 2000
• EU plans to liquify corpses and pour them down the drain, July 2010
• EU plot to seize control of our seabed, Feb 2013
• EU wants to restrict your coffee drinking, May 2015
• Women’s clothes sizes to get bigger due to standardisation, April 2002
• Village church bells silenced by EU, Oct 2002
• British cheese face extinction, May 1999
• EU wants to control your candles, Dec 2015
• Passengers to pay a second fare for journeys over 30 miles, Jan 1999
• Double-decker buses to be banned, Apr 1998
• EU trying to quantify smell of British workers, Sep 1996
• British loaf of bread under threat from EU, Oct 1997
• EU ‘bans boozing’, Feb 2005
• Butchers cannot give a dog a bone, May 2004
• EU bans children from blowing up balloons, Oct 2011
• Ambulances turn yellow for Europe, Mar 2002
• Let’s quit the EU and link up with America, Oct 1998

I wonder what percentage of these were made up by Boris Johnson writing for the Daily Telegraph in the mid-90s?

haha I am not British but the curved banana was a funny one

Public lies with the intention to mislead the public should be a criminal offence.

The liars need to feel consequences.

Barmaids – EU health directive to prevent barmaids from showing cleavage, Nov 2005

What? They were this openly sexist?

Thank you! This is pure gold!

The “Eurocrats ruining Britain witj regulations” thing is extra funny when you go to France and see a swimming pool thats just a sharp-edged concrete pit of rainwater and the “life guard” is an 80 year old man reading a book while smoking Gauloises. We pretend to be against regulations but really we’re a nation of cops spying on each other for any perceived infractions.