White House says it has tech that can "manipulate time and space"

https://www.newsweek.com/white-house-says-tech-can-manipulate-time-space-2060986

A comment by White House science adviser Michael Kratsios has gone viral after a speech in which he claimed U.S. technology can “manipulate time and space,” prompting online speculation.

Kratsios, director of the White House Office of Science and Technology Policy, made the remark during a policy address at the Endless Frontiers Retreat in Austin, Texas on April 14.

“Our technologies permit us to manipulate time and space. They leave distance annihilated, cause things to grow, and improve productivity,” Kratsios said during prepared remarks published on the official White House website.

While the statement was likely intended as aspirational language about technological progress, it has since circulated widely online, with some interpreting the comment literally.

285 points · 57 comments · view on lemmy.world

57 Comments

Lighttrails@sh.itjust.works · 221 pts · 1y (2 replies)

thesohoriots@lemmy.world · 30 pts · 1y

Perfect. No notes.

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 9 pts · 1y

dammit

ExtremeDullard@lemmy.sdf.org · 149 pts · 1y (8 replies)

Well they're right: it really feels like 1934 Germany right now.

radix@lemmy.world · 49 pts · 1y (6 replies)

It's been 88 days since the inauguration....oh shit.

Venus_Ziegenfalle@feddit.org · 37 pts · 1y (4 replies)

Hitler's birthday is in two days. Let's see if Trump randomly declares war on Poland or something to commemorate it.

Captainvaqina@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 1y (2 replies)

It's the day that the clown traitors he appointed to destroy our intelligence agencies are supposed to hand him a report on if they can fake a reason for the filth to enact martial law.

Venus_Ziegenfalle@feddit.org · 2 pts · 1y

Well there you go, that's definitely in his idol's spirit

gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 1y

Yep. Calling it now: insurrection act will be invoked on Sunday.

ComfortablyDumb@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 1y

Canada/Mexico are already shivering.

Infernal_pizza@lemm.ee · 3 pts · 1y

Fucking hell it's not even been 3 months!?

PhilipTheBucket@ponder.cat · 17 pts · 1y

The scenes I've seen of people around Trump, making sure to kiss his ass and over-emphasize with nervous straight faces what a genius he is and how well things are going, are the stuff of nightmares.

skhayfa@lemmy.world · 65 pts · 1y

The time distortion first came when a huge number of dense people gathered at the same spot in the white house.

captainjaneway@lemmy.world · 59 pts · 1y

“Our technologies permit us to manipulate time and space. They leave distance annihilated, cause things to grow, and improve productivity”

I - too - can walk, garden, and drink coffee.

PhilipTheBucket@ponder.cat · 42 pts · 1y (1 reply)

In the speech, Kratsios emphasized the importance of American leadership in emerging technologies and criticized regulatory burdens that, in his view, had slowed progress. "We have weighed down our builders and innovators," he said. "But we are capable of so much more."

"Can we get some comments from the innovators?"

"No we fired them."

BeNotAfraid@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1y

He's Talking about regulations on Big Tech in terms of data collection, monopoly and social engineering. We need to remove these people from the sphere of political influence. Break up Alphabet, Delete Meta, tax wealth not work.

Marthirial@lemmy.world · 35 pts · 1y
  • General Relativity 1905
  • Special Relativity 1905
  • Assclown Relativity 2025
SoftestSapphic@lemmy.world · 33 pts · 1y

Nothing will meaningfully improve until the rich fear for their lives

Formfiller@lemmy.world · 26 pts · 1y

p

DaCrazyJamez@sh.itjust.works · 22 pts · 1y

I, too, am a source of gravity.

Frjttr@lemm.ee · 22 pts · 1y

Sure, sure… Even a plane can “manipulate time and space”.

BmeBenji@lemm.ee · 22 pts · 1y (1 reply)

It manipulates space by “moving everything around you until the space around you is not the USA, but El Salvador,” and it manipulates time by making it seem like no time has passed as the space moves, almost like you were put to sleep with a tranquilizer (but that’s definitely not what it was)

Witchfire@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 1y

It manipulates time by sending the entire country back 100 years, and it manipulates space by making it seem like the middle of Europe

Iceman@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 1y

Our technologies permit us to manipulate time and space. They leave distance annihilated, cause things to grow, and improve productivity

Ok, so your on drugs. It's not a particularly unique technology tho.

impudentmortal@lemmy.world · 21 pts · 1y

To be fair, these last 3 months have felt like 3 years so maybe they're on to something.

MithranArkanere@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 1y

I can too.

I can move through space all the way to next to my nightstand and change the clock's time with a little wheel behind it.

GreenKnight23@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 1y

if true this explains soooo much.

1000001416

Wilco@lemm.ee · 13 pts · 1y

Yea, its called creative accounting ... or fraud.

Tronn4@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 1y

Too bad they have it set to 1930's germany

dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works · 11 pts · 1y

I'm just gonna quote my wife here when I talk about outlandish work stuff:

"Wow." - dream_weasel’s wife

peterg75@discuss.online · 9 pts · 1y

Growing up in USSR we had a saying: a comrad comes to you with a shovel, points to a patch of land and says: "you will dig from here and until supper".

I bet White House, with it's ties to Putin's Russia, means something similar.

Docandersonn@lemm.ee · 9 pts · 1y

"Prompting online speculation" ... This line can be thrown into literally any news article.

HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 1y

white house discovers cannabis

MyOpinion@lemm.ee · 7 pts · 1y

It is called the MAGAt field of stupidity.

alphapuggle@programming.dev · 7 pts · 1y

If they had the technology to manipulate time and space they'd just use it to commit election fraud

badbytes@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 1y

Idiots just threw a wristwatch.

Jaysyn@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 1y

It's ketamine, isn't it?

iAvicenna@lemmy.world · 6 pts · 1y

did someone just explain to this guy the half a century old tech scanning tunneling microscope that uses quantum tunneling for imaging

KaRunChiy@fedia.io · 5 pts · 1y

Oh god, the space age larpers took over

Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 1y

The pseudoscience and grift administration has embraced the Montauk Project

Ioughttamow@fedia.io · 5 pts · 1y

The cake is a lie! They shouted, certain they had grabbed the cultural zeitgeist by the tail

DogPeePoo@lemm.ee · 5 pts · 1y

Amphetamines are a helluva drug

obvs@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1y

There is ZERO reason to believe this.

Or at the least there is ZERO reason to believe it in the way that it was interpreted.

Formfiller@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 1y

Then go get everyone’s 401k money back

pineapplelover@lemm.ee · 4 pts · 1y

Reminds me of this key and peele skit

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGFLPbpdMS8

wise_pancake@lemmy.ca · 4 pts · 1y (1 reply)

I never considered the world where we invent the ability to accelerate time, and just use it for making workers work more shifts so they die even younger just to extract more value relative to those without the technology.

PacMan@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 1y (1 reply)

The Time Machine we have at home https://youtu.be/L3LHAlcrTRA

WeeneyTodd@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1y

I was expecting something along these lines

ironhydroxide@sh.itjust.works · 3 pts · 1y

He who controls the past, controls the present.

Dagwood222@lemm.ee · 3 pts · 1y

Reminds me of the poster for the Terry Gilliam classic "Time Bandits."

They could travel anywhere in time or space. They just couldn't tie their own shoes."

Randomgal@lemmy.ca · 2 pts · 1y

Please be Aliens bro. Please.

CetaceanNeeded@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 1y

Come with us now on a journey through time and space. To the world of the Might Bullshit.

rodneylives@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1y

They can't even manipulate their own fool heads.

1984@lemmy.today · 1 pts · 1y

Go where no sane person has been before.

kreskin@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 1y

Manipulating time and space, hrm. I'm going to guess they bought themselves a snowglobe.

Irelephant@lemm.ee · -1 pts · 1y

Crap, they found the Democrat's weather controlling space lasers.

Edit: sarcasm, since it doesn't seem to be that clear.