“Don't talk unless you can improve the silence.”

"Boop."

But also, I think similarly for commenting online.
90% of the time, I type out a comment, only to hit cancel and move on. It's surprisingly cathartic.

dOn'T tAlK uNlEsS yOu CaN iMpRoVe ThE sIlEnCe

I read some piece of advice a while back (on lemmy I think) about when to talk, "Does it need said? Does it need said right now? Does it need said by you?" and it really stuck with me.

I'm definitely a talker, and my friends and family will talk all day. But I know my partner can find it a bit much, so having a basic rule has been surprisingly helpful. I might want to tell him about the intresting thing that I read, but does he really want to hear that? We might need to talk about something important but stressful, maybe bringing it up just before bed isn't the best idea?

It is all pretty obvious stuff, but I spent three decades only really spending time with people who talked all the time too. I didn't need to worry about bringing something up at the wrong time, because if I did, they would immediately say "oh I don't want to talk about that because...." and explain or change the subject. I didn't worry about a conversation being uninteresting, because if it was we'd quickly tangent into something that worked for us both.

farts

People are bagging on your comment because it could seem really smug out of context, but …

I have lately finally learned the lesson that when I feel the urge to give advice, it is my brains fucked up way of telling me what I need to be doing too.

This new realization means I now leave many more things unsaid, and it seems to be working as a better social strategy.

Improve it for who?

That's why I stfu in public.

Yes, but what is an improvement if silence. If I want to gossip about neighbour a with neighbour b, is that better than silence? It is to my mom.

I just saw your post during a meeting and I'm about to apply this mantra now

"Silence 2: This Time It's Quieter"?

Is that anything?

This is how arrogant and pretentious people act when on their high horses. Censor yourself and leave others out of it.

This reads like it belongs to a facebook or linkedin post.

."

A fart is the wind is better than a fart with the windows closed -Buddha (or something idk)

If you define 'need' very loosely then the statement becomes pretty meaningless but I agree with it.

Otherwise there are many scenarios where I disagree with it.

There is lots of valuable talking that happens that doesn't strictly need to be said.

Small talk is important for relationships.

Anyone learning a language needs to talk a lot just for the sake of talking. Even if nothing needs to be said.

Sometimes people need to be and feel heard to feel welcome in a group. It's easy to say that the content of the conversation isn't nearly as important as the act of having the conversation.

I think it's an introvert vs extrovert thing. For introverts, silence is the default and lots of talking is draining. For extroverts, silence is unnerving and makes them uncomfortable, and conversations energises them.

Shouldnt this be "improve on the silence"? If you talk there is not silence so you cannot improve the silence by talking. But you can improve on the silence with good words making.

If you meet a great swordsman, show him your sword.

If you meet a man who is not a great poet, remain silent.

This post was reported. I agree it can come across as a bit agressive and arrogant.

I think the other commenters are doing a good job of pointing out the many perspectives on this post so I won't take action for now.

Hush little baby don't you cry..