This just reminded me of a story an older coworker of mine told me. He was an old biker dude who used to be in a gang. His gang rolled into this bar and were shooting some pool when this "smokin' hot mama" (his words) came up to them and asked to join in on a few rounds. Of course, they say yes.
She plays with them and starts flirting heavily with everyone there. At some point, she says "how about we get out of here and you boys show me a good time?" So they take this woman back to a seedy motel and she bangs each and every one of them. Then, she has a friend come and pick her up at the motel. As she's getting into the car, she yells "Pete says hello and I have the clap!"
These guys are left confused because they're like "who the fuck is Pete?" Turns out, a different biker gang beat up this dude, Pete, at that bar the night before. So he hired a hooker to give the whole gang the clap.
So my coworker and his buddies all got Chlamydia Gonorrhea from this girl. My coworker was like "she said she had the clap - and she did. Lots of those guys had old ladies at home and had to make up reasons why they didn't want no pussy for the next few weeks."
God I wish I could convey the guy's tone and delivery via text, because it was so fucking funny to hear in person. He was an older dude, in his 60s, and just goes "she said she had the clap..."
then paused for dramatic effect, kind of looks off into the distance as if reminiscing - and probably thinking of a doctor's appointment dredged up from the past - and then completely deadpans
Everytime I see the word gonorrhea, I'm reminded of the time the chill Aussie medical show All Saint's just randomly gave one of their characters full blown gonorrhea.
That's what was so weird about it, it was kinda like a soap drama set in a suburban hospital, sometimes it would get darker, but they went all out for that.
I think you're getting confused, the show was chill then they went and did a rape/gonorrhea storyline for fuck knows what reasons, the rape and that were not chill, hence the reason it its stuck with me for so long, it was fucking weird.
The Disney College program is like a 3 month orgy. I know quite a few people who did in different parks and they all said the same things. They mostly hire attractive people, they put you in these big dorm buildings. There is nothing to do but go into the parks, which gets old, or shop downtown Disney which no college student can afford for long. So they just start fucking like rabbits.
See, I don't have a gynaecologist and I've never had chlamydia. Now, some might say I don't have a Gino because I have a penis, or that the two are in no way related, to which I'd reply: look out! Chainsaws! Behind you!
They've got full blown resort hotels in there, probably enough to, by themselves, count as a 'medium city.' I would bet they have quite a few workplaces you wouldn't otherwise think about.
39 Comments
Ele7en7@lemmy.world · 89 pts · 323d
Chlamydia is not the clap. It's gonorrhea.
aeronmelon@lemmy.world · 28 pts · 323d
āIām gono Disneyland!ā
credo@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 322d
There is no magic kingdom at Disneyland.
jballs@sh.itjust.works · 16 pts · 322d
This just reminded me of a story an older coworker of mine told me. He was an old biker dude who used to be in a gang. His gang rolled into this bar and were shooting some pool when this "smokin' hot mama" (his words) came up to them and asked to join in on a few rounds. Of course, they say yes.
She plays with them and starts flirting heavily with everyone there. At some point, she says "how about we get out of here and you boys show me a good time?" So they take this woman back to a seedy motel and she bangs each and every one of them. Then, she has a friend come and pick her up at the motel. As she's getting into the car, she yells "Pete says hello and I have the clap!"
These guys are left confused because they're like "who the fuck is Pete?" Turns out, a different biker gang beat up this dude, Pete, at that bar the night before. So he hired a hooker to give the whole gang the clap.
So my coworker and his buddies all got
ChlamydiaGonorrhea from this girl. My coworker was like "she said she had the clap - and she did. Lots of those guys had old ladies at home and had to make up reasons why they didn't want no pussy for the next few weeks."Hadriscus@jlai.lu · 7 pts · 322d
Whew. But it was a different gang, right ? all these dudes got infected for no reason ?
jballs@sh.itjust.works · 7 pts · 322d
Yeah different gang! Fortunately the clap is curable with antibiotics.
Hadriscus@jlai.lu · 2 pts · 322d
what a story šš
jballs@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 322d
God I wish I could convey the guy's tone and delivery via text, because it was so fucking funny to hear in person. He was an older dude, in his 60s, and just goes "she said she had the clap..."
then paused for dramatic effect, kind of looks off into the distance as if reminiscing - and probably thinking of a doctor's appointment dredged up from the past - and then completely deadpans
"...and she did."
oleorun@lemmy.fan · 4 pts · 322d
Everybody clapped
Literally.
jaybone@lemmy.zip · 5 pts · 322d
I was worried this story was going to involve jolly ranchers.
WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 322d
They were bikers, not ranchers.
dumbass@aussie.zone · 11 pts · 323d
Everytime I see the word gonorrhea, I'm reminded of the time the chill Aussie medical show All Saint's just randomly gave one of their characters full blown gonorrhea.
jodanlime@midwest.social · 5 pts · 322d
Wat
dumbass@aussie.zone · 4 pts · 322d
Yeah, he was raped 2 episodes before, then found out he had full on gonorrhea.
breakingcups@lemmy.world · 8 pts · 322d
Rape also doesn't sound chill?
dumbass@aussie.zone · 7 pts · 322d
That's what was so weird about it, it was kinda like a soap drama set in a suburban hospital, sometimes it would get darker, but they went all out for that.
HowAbt2day@futurology.today · 3 pts · 322d
Fingerblasting is chill. Not an STD transmitted through rape. But what do I know?
dumbass@aussie.zone · 3 pts · 322d
I think you're getting confused, the show was chill then they went and did a rape/gonorrhea storyline for fuck knows what reasons, the rape and that were not chill, hence the reason it its stuck with me for so long, it was fucking weird.
Rusty@lemmy.ca · 7 pts · 322d
This guy STDs
Ele7en7@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 322d
This guy is old lol
zarkanian@sh.itjust.works · 64 pts · 322d
This is one of those jokes where they thought up the punchline first.
Humana@lemmy.world · 24 pts · 323d
The Disney College program is like a 3 month orgy. I know quite a few people who did in different parks and they all said the same things. They mostly hire attractive people, they put you in these big dorm buildings. There is nothing to do but go into the parks, which gets old, or shop downtown Disney which no college student can afford for long. So they just start fucking like rabbits.
modus@lemmy.world · 16 pts · 322d
I'm 52. Where do I apply?
burntbacon@discuss.tchncs.de · 7 pts · 322d
Your local retirement home. Second most common place to have STIs after college dorms/frats.
SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world · 17 pts · 322d
Disney adults are fucking goofy.
Nfamwap@lemmy.world · 18 pts · 322d
Does Goofy consent?
D_C@sh.itjust.works · 11 pts · 322d
This just in from Goofy, he says, "Guhuh!!"
Ensign_Crab@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 320d
He's down to hyuck.
krooklochurm@lemmy.ca · 14 pts · 322d
See, I don't have a gynaecologist and I've never had chlamydia. Now, some might say I don't have a Gino because I have a penis, or that the two are in no way related, to which I'd reply: look out! Chainsaws! Behind you!
foodandart@lemmy.zip · 10 pts · 323d
Oh shit.. Mom lays on the burn! LOL!
Bring_Back_Buggy_Whips@sh.itjust.works · 9 pts · 322d
Mom knew from her Mouseketeer days.
jaybone@lemmy.zip · 5 pts · 322d
Someone slipped her a mickey.
Bring_Back_Buggy_Whips@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 322d
Nice.
jaybone@lemmy.zip · 9 pts · 322d
Does Disneyland have a pharmacy?
I know they have a medical facility, and maybe some rx drugs on hand, but are doctors really calling in prescriptions there?
burntbacon@discuss.tchncs.de · 4 pts · 322d
They've got full blown resort hotels in there, probably enough to, by themselves, count as a 'medium city.' I would bet they have quite a few workplaces you wouldn't otherwise think about.
silasmariner@programming.dev · 3 pts · 322d
Probably? Lots of sick people at Disney
ivanafterall@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 323d
Now I finally get why they call it the clap! Cuz it's such a happy disease!