No fucking way! I got invited to the Illuminati

132 points · 23 comments · view on lemmy.world

23 Comments

gigastasio@sh.itjust.works · 41 pts · 310d (2 replies)
[ removed ]
No_Money_Just_Change@feddit.org · 10 pts · 310d

That sounds quite fun. What if they have to play the different groups so they solve each other's problems.

I.e. they take a batshit amount of money to cover up the ufo and use it to buy out all the food and just build a food silo over the crash site

frezik@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 6 pts · 310d

That sorta happened. Discordianism takes some notes from the idea of the Illuminati. You can draw a straight line from there to 4chan, and from 4chan to /r/The_Donald, Qanon, and MAGA as a whole.

DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world · 38 pts · 310d

Congrats!

Remember, registration is not mandatory, but it IS your ranking. Also, you are description.

Gotta admit, I'm a bit jelly.

TheLunatickle@lemmy.zip · 28 pts · 310d

This makes me jealous since I'm so isolated not even scammers message me.

Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 310d (4 replies)

Wait, you too? I thought this was exclusive to intelligent and handsome intellectuals like me.

AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 310d (2 replies)

Are you even description?

foofiepie@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 310d

We are all description on this blessed day.

Thassodar@sh.itjust.works · 1 pts · 310d

I can't even

Dragonstaff@leminal.space · 4 pts · 310d

I am saddened that the Illuminati sent out fake notices to all of you to mask their attempts to recruit me.

Steamymoomilk@sh.itjust.works · 16 pts · 310d

It sounded well worded until

WHATSAPP

Illuminati is big fan of facebook

Friend Illuminati on Facebook

Refer friend

MutantTailThing@lemmy.world · 11 pts · 310d (2 replies)

You may soon find out that the Illuminati’s legal tender is Apple gift cards

Jumbie@lemmy.zip · 3 pts · 310d

TARGET. GEFT! CARDDS!

Ok, Chrisp?

DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social · 3 pts · 310d

I knew it

samus12345@sh.itjust.works · 8 pts · 310d (3 replies)

Why would I want to join them? They've done a shit job of maintaining order in the world lately!

TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 309d (2 replies)

You should join them to do a better job

samus12345@sh.itjust.works · 2 pts · 309d (1 reply)

Step 1: Give them the Ankh-Morpork Discworld books to read and teach them the ways of Lord Vetinari. If you're going to be a shadowy world-running organization, benevolent tyranny is by far the best option.

TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 309d

Tell them to stop watching Idiocracy. It's not a manual.

OmegaMouse@pawb.social · 6 pts · 310d

Skyrim new quest started fanfare

TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 5 pts · 309d

It's supposed to be secret, you failed! Shouldn't have posted this.

Greetings, the head of illuminati.

foodandart@lemmy.zip · 5 pts · 310d (1 reply)

I got something similar. I ask if they have need of the spider man suit and to bring the harness and lube and I'll bring the Bad Dragon to peg them with.

Funny, but they never reply. I really, really, want to peg them. :(

Dragonstaff@leminal.space · 1 pts · 310d

Hey, it's me, ur Illuminati.

zakobjoa@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 310d

I am a Customer Service Hotline Worker. How can you help me achieve my dreams.

ininewcrow@lemmy.ca · 1 pts · 310d

AI probing for users in the fediverse