Gray-Lipped RFK Jr. Touts Body’s Natural Ability To Transmute Lead Into Gold
https://theonion.com/gray-lipped-rfk-jr-touts-bodys-natural-ability-to-transmute-lead-into-gold/
https://theonion.com/gray-lipped-rfk-jr-touts-bodys-natural-ability-to-transmute-lead-into-gold/
22 Comments
karashta@piefed.social · 72 pts · 297d
It honestly takes me a moment to realize it's not real.
Because I expect this lunatic to say this. Or to tell people to drink mercury.
GlitchyDigiBun@lemmy.world · 12 pts · 297d
Obligatory don't drink murcury... That said, there are 2 types and one is biologically innert so like... If you WANT to feel dense pools of metal splash down through your guts like... You can. It does nothing beneficial to your body except maybe the chance to dislodge something? Go ahead and ask your doctor, I'm sure he would enjoy the laugh.
wunami@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 297d
Wellness MLMs and scams often talk about toxins and old shit being stuck on intestines like they are physical pipes. And then sell stuff that will dislodge and clear that stuff out.
So, there's probably someone trying to sell mercury to people for that already.
A_norny_mousse@feddit.org · 6 pts · 297d
Me too. I clicked on it before I realized it's The Onion.
D_C@sh.itjust.works · 5 pts · 297d
It didn't get me that much but there were a few seconds of me thinking "he said that? Noooo. I just. Wait, how can? Nooo...", before I realised it was satire.
GlitchyDigiBun@lemmy.world · 4 pts · 297d
I've come to understand that satire is a canary in the coal mine for a society. The minute it becomes indescernible from the facts, something has gone seriously awry with society at large.
TrickDacy@lemmy.world · 3 pts · 297d
I actually didn't doubt it at all. He would 1000% say something this stupid.
Tollana1234567@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 296d
his lips does get blue from drinking methylene blue.
ceenote@lemmy.world · 29 pts · 297d
The worm can be a pathway to many abilities, some considered to be unnatural.
Tollana1234567@lemmy.today · 6 pts · 297d
long life, enhanced strength, increased resistant to radiation, plus access to genetic knowledge of previous hosts.
tehfishman@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 297d
Ask your MLM Wellness Life Coach if Goa'uld is right for you!
Tollana1234567@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 296d
sarcophagus, and healing hand device, and kara'kesh not guaranteed. one spends the most gets tel'chaks device.
AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world · 2 pts · 297d
NOPE. Fuck the worm. It destroyed the galaxy the one time I tried that event chain
Dorkyd68@lemmy.world · 19 pts · 297d
Jfc. I thought it was real. Cause why wouldn't it be. We gotta stop letting satire overlap reality
the_q@lemmy.zip · 15 pts · 297d
recursive_recursion@piefed.ca · 16 pts · 297d
Full-mental Alchemist
Hupf@feddit.org · 4 pts · 296d
Do...nald
cassandrafatigue@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 3 pts · 296d
I can't think of a member of this administration who wouldn't if they could.
applebusch@lemmy.blahaj.zone · 15 pts · 297d
witness him
Copterdoc@sopuli.xyz · 12 pts · 297d
Ichiban! Lipstick, for men.
Aussiemandeus@aussie.zone · 6 pts · 296d
I squinted at that headline before seeing where it was posted haha
Well done
Archangel1313@lemmy.ca · 5 pts · 297d
"Look. I eat lead. I poop gold. It's just science."
Almacca@aussie.zone · 4 pts · 296d
It's hard to satirise someone when even the most ridiculous thing sounds like it could plausibly come from that dipshit.
That said, it'd be pretty funny if somone planted some plausible looking studies on the internet that confirmed this and sent the links to him to see if we could get him to believe it and start drinking lead.