That's what gets me about all of this. Not only was crying about onions and mustard the weakest most pathetic shit ever, even that was grossly exaggerated. These ICE losers are the most pathetic people alive.
I don't think so, but he did say while testifying: “He did it. He threw the sandwich,” that the sandwich "exploded all over" his chest and he felt it through his ballistic vest, and that "You could smell the onions and the mustard".
The sandwich never left its wrapper.
The defense attorney finished closing arguments with “This case, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, is about a sandwich”
I don't think so, but it is close to what he was trying to claim when he testified.
In a Sandwich vs. "Ballistic Vest" fight, the Vest will win every time. He might not even feel it. So he can't claim any physical damages. That means he had to make some sort of claim of mental trauma, which was supposed to be, what? Some sort of PTSD following the horror of the attack, due to the aroma of mustard and onions?
Then there was video evidence of the sandwich in the street, AFTER the attack, and it was still fully wrapped (Give that Subway employee a raise for having a tight hand). He couldn't have smelled that mustard and onions, because they were never exposed. That means the ICE agent committed perjury on the stand, under oath.
20 Comments
gigastasio@sh.itjust.works · 107 pts · 306d
YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today · 8 pts · 305d
To the tune of "fuck you, I won't do what you tell me"
Footlongs, aren't only five dollars
Footlongs, aren't only five dollars
Spicey Italiiiaaaaannnnnnm
shittydwarf@sh.itjust.works · 64 pts · 306d
West_of_West@piefed.social · 20 pts · 306d
Never again
dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world · 15 pts · 305d
The real tragedy is how stale that bread is; Subway^(tm)^ crust isn't supposed to do that. Is it too late to rescue the lunchmeat and start over?
nukeforyou@lemmy.zip · 46 pts · 306d
Also,, the sandwitch was wrapped up. So theres no mustard or onion
dalekcaan@feddit.nl · 46 pts · 305d
That's what gets me about all of this. Not only was crying about onions and mustard the weakest most pathetic shit ever, even that was grossly exaggerated. These ICE losers are the most pathetic people alive.
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today · 5 pts · 305d
AND he was wearing body armor.
dalekcaan@feddit.nl · 1 pts · 305d
Clearly, they should be wearing bulletproof and sandwichproof armor.
CaptainBlinky@lemmy.myserv.one · 34 pts · 306d
I can't believe I need to ask this, but... is that an actual quote?
AmbitiousProcess@piefed.social · 35 pts · 305d
I don't think so, but he did say while testifying: “He did it. He threw the sandwich,” that the sandwich "exploded all over" his chest and he felt it through his ballistic vest, and that "You could smell the onions and the mustard".
The sandwich never left its wrapper.
The defense attorney finished closing arguments with “This case, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, is about a sandwich”
DrDystopia@lemy.lol · 6 pts · 305d
They don't know, you don't think so. I think... This exemplifies how absurd this
shitsandwich show is.Billy_fuccboi@lemmy.world · 13 pts · 306d
I think he's throwing shade, but you can never be sure
BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today · 2 pts · 305d
I don't think so, but it is close to what he was trying to claim when he testified.
In a Sandwich vs. "Ballistic Vest" fight, the Vest will win every time. He might not even feel it. So he can't claim any physical damages. That means he had to make some sort of claim of mental trauma, which was supposed to be, what? Some sort of PTSD following the horror of the attack, due to the aroma of mustard and onions?
Then there was video evidence of the sandwich in the street, AFTER the attack, and it was still fully wrapped (Give that Subway employee a raise for having a tight hand). He couldn't have smelled that mustard and onions, because they were never exposed. That means the ICE agent committed perjury on the stand, under oath.
Lock. Him. Up.
slaacaa@lemmy.world · 17 pts · 305d
Assault with a deli weapon
infinitebagels@sh.itjust.works · 14 pts · 306d
mkwt@lemmy.world · 20 pts · 306d
The FBI crime lab didn't even do any forensic analysis on whether the sub measured up to the full 12 inches or not.
It was such a shoddy investigation.
thesohoriots@lemmy.world · 7 pts · 305d
Was it technically meeting the standard of what is known as bread?
mkwt@lemmy.world · 5 pts · 305d
We might never know. Subway has been accused of bread shenanigans in the past (in addition to short-selling their footlongs).
blimthepixie@lemmy.dbzer0.com · 7 pts · 306d
At least a fair few of us learned a new word today
FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca · 3 pts · 305d
I'm buying a sub sandwich tomorrow to scare an ICE agent (disclaimer: I'm in Canada and will not actually come into contact with an ICE agent)
MTZ@lemmy.world · 1 pts · 305d
ABCDEF GUY