I like trains

Also electric chair was used only in the US and in the Philippines. In Bulgaria only hanging and shooting was used. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capital_punishment_in_Bulgaria

Yeah, he was a really bad conductor

Isn't the driver called the driver?

I have a series of those that I like to pull on people. They usually catch on after the 2nd one and won't let me tell any more, so I beg for one last chance and tell my one funny shaggy dog joke. Then, once they're hooked again, I start telling stupid ones again.

My list (heavily condensed, you just gotta riff):

• A man's camel is stolen and he's told by someone in the town that it was probably stolen by the Camel Thief. The man goes on a very long journey to find the Camel Thief, and when he finally confronts the Camel Thief, the Camel Thief denies stealing the camel.
• A man visits some monks and hears a mysterious and mesmerizing noise deep within the monastery. He asks about it, but the monk tell him they're not allowed to tell him because he's not a monk. He goes through a series of trials to become a monk, and finally reaches a series of doors where the noise gets louder through each door. When he opens the last door, he sees the source of the noise, but you're not allowed to know what it was because you're not a monk.
• (The one funny one) 3 men get trapped on an island but find a lamp. The genie is feeling generous and offers each man 3 wishes and they don't have to waste a wish on getting rescued. The first 2 men use their wishes well (like lots of money or healthy lives) but the 3rd man asks to have his right arm rotate clockwise, then his left arm to rotate counterclockwise, then for his head to nod up and down for the rest of time (act this out as this happens). The genie poofs them all away, and they meet up years later. The first 2 men report on their success and the third guy goes "I think I fucked up".
• In a land of Cheerios, an unfrosted and frosted Cheerio fall in love but the frosted Cheerio's father won't allow the marriage. The unfrosted Cheerio works hard and saves up a bunch of money and slowly becomes frosted. They hold a lavish wedding with all the money earned and invite a ton of guests. The frosted Cheerio bride asks for a series of drinks (milk, water, tea, etc), but each line is too long. Eventually they ask for a fruit drink, and the frosted Cheerio groom returns immediately and says "There was no punch line".
• A rich father offers his child anything for their birthday, but the child just keeps asking for increasing amounts of pink ping pong balls which mysteriously disappear by the next morning. After a few years of this, the father decides to force his child to explain the mystery, but the child has some kind of accident on the way over to visit the father. The father goes to the hospital and asks for an explanation and the child dies before they're able to explain.
• (Stole this from Norm McDonald) A moth walks into a dentist's office and starts complaining about life. After the moth rants for a while, the dentist tells the moth he needs to see a therapist and asks why the moth came to his office. The moth explains the dentist's light was on.

If anyone has any more, please let me know, I love these. I know The Longest Joke In the World, but I usually just have people read that rather than trying to tell it.

Duck Duck Went this for you:

There was this musician in North Korea....

Yeah my dad tells it about a music conductor but I don't remember the setting. I'll ask him.

EDIT: I remember now. The gist is (condensed):

A band has a new conductor. He does a bad job and a <funny instrument> player complains. The conductor pulls out a gun and shoots him.

In the US of A the laws are more straightforward. The executioner sets up the electric chair, but nothing works. He keeps trying. Finally he says, "I really don't know what's wrong with this machine, it usually works." And the guy says, "I guess I am a lousy conductor".